Flashbacks

I spent most of last night downloading and listening to old songs, (talk about music piracy).

Sinead O Connor - Nothing Compares To You

Tracy Chapman - Baby can I hold you

Rick Price - Heaven Knows

Phil Collins - Separate Lives

Breathe -Hands in Heaven

Actually the thing is that i have all those CDs, but I am just too busy to look through the shelves of CDs to locate it. It also sound extremely weird and scary ( remember the "dropping marbles" sound in HDB flats) to be ransacking in the middle of the night say 2 am.....

I hate it when I listen to a song and certain memories are triggered and affect me badly. :( So I just curled up in bed listening to the songs on repeat, had weird dreams.

Maybe sometimes in life it is just too difficult to please and sometimes to difficult to understand. Maybe it is just the way we made it to be. It is depressing how things have turned out, or how I had single handedly made them to be. To help, you just have to be mean. I don't profess that I am the nicest guy, and I don't want to be the nice guy, for nice guys last last. Characters are made and chosen; I was made for this. I just hope that if separation do come, let separation be bittersweet, for it was what I choose it to be.

Cryptic.....

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Separation will be a hard word to say

I have a new lover...

Her name is Kylie...

Just Kidding....

I am getting really boliao...

The IJ Song - What an IJ girl wants ( to be sung by IJ girls of course)

Tune By: "How much is that doggie's Composer (brownie points for those who knows who)
Lyrics by: A sleep-deprived Ego one
In The Tune Of: How much is that doggie. Duh.

How **** is that boy? ( Original Lyrics and looping midi found here)

How sweet is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want!)
The one who is flashing the bills.
They say ACS boys are the richest,
I do hope that boy is not gay.

I must choose Raffles or SJ,
And no neighbourhood ah beng for me.
If he can't speak well, then I am sorry
He can jolly well find an ah Lian.

How hunky is that boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one with hu-mon-go-us feet.
They say that the body is proportional.
I do hope there measured up same.

I don't want a jock or ah beng,
I don't want a boy that just nags.
I don't want a boy with no opinion,
Or haunt me like a stalker in sight.

How cute is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one in that studded uniform.
His leg hairs are showing from his khakis
And he speak with a cheena accent.

How cute is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one with the "retro"ish look.
He carries a dict and spout shakespeare
Oh please can he please get a life.

It is so difficult to get the right guy,
And prayed that he isn't taken.
If I still don't find anything I like,
Maybe I should just turn lesbian.

I need coffee badly. I shall stop this before people starts slapping me. I need more sleep.

The one where I cannot sleep at night

I have been having difficulties getting to sleep. My sleep deprivation has affected me badly. I can't think straight ( interestingly who does, and of course who does care??!!) For those who expressed concern, I can't really reveal much but it is just that I am going through some personal and school and personaschoolly problems that I am still having difficulties trying to sought out my thoughts. I have not got any answer yet but I realise that the more I think about it, the more frustrated I am. I am glad that I am out from school at the CCK with my track and field girls because 1) it get me out of my self imposed misery 2) the whole thing get me so tired that I can really plonk on my bed and have an undisturbed sleep.
Anyway in my attempts to get myself to sleep I decided to write this entry with the intention of helping insomniacs, ie people like me. It don't necessarily work because I am still wide awake. Anyway here goes:

1) Count sheep.
They say the old and ancient are wise, but I beg to differ because this was what they used to do to fall asleep. Not only did I tried counting sheep, I also tried zebras, llamas and even hippopotamuses. None worked. It only got me in a really frenzy mood with the pile of A maths homework I am supposed to finish marking.

2)Drink a hot cup of milk/ Horlicks/ Milo/ volka shots.
The above are supposed to calm your nerves, which sounds fine in theory, but I encountered many problems. I've ran out of chocolate milk and I hate skimmed. I don't have Horlicks in my house because I don't like Horlicks. Then my stomach felt weird a short while after I drank the Milo. Goodness.

3)Listen to music.
It is said that music soothes the soul. That failed to work on me even though I had my ears numb after two hours' worth of MP3 entertainment. On hindsight, maybe it was because I was listening to Oasis.

4)Exercise.
Seems to work to a small extent for me. But my body is still aching from the physical exertions courtesy of that 5 k run I had at Mac Ritche. Besides, and no offence here, but I think the idea of running after midnight is just plain weird. You just don't know what/who you would meet.

5) Read your textbooks.
The textbook never fail to get me into sleep mode. However, what sounds like a brilliant idea during the exams, often fails to work post-exam especially for me where there is no more exams. But I guess having a boring book will help. I don't know.

In conclusion, I would suggest to insomniacs not to bother with the above methods because I've tried them all but failed. Maybe I should get another cup of Milo or get my creative juices to compose again.

The 3 Cs

I attended a Malay wedding on Sunday and this was my first Malay wedding I had attended. Interestingly in a multiracial society like Singapore, I only get to experience a wedding of a different culture until 31 years of my existence. I was merely tagging along as it was my wife's colleague.

We reached there around 3.30pm and was met with loud singing coming from a set of speakers via a karaoke system.


At a cozy multi purpose hall beside a multi-storey carpark







Close up views of the wedding dinner reception area



In a small tentage where the DJ cum emcees were, a friend/relative/acquaintance/karaoke fanatic/Singapore Idol Wannabe was belting out a familiar Malay song with gut-so ( big from the chicken briyani and free flow of drinks)


Well-wishers sending their congrats through karaoke



We are well settled, seen here my missus and her colleague. I am holding the camera doofus!!



Helping ourselves with the food



Chicken briyani... yum yum


Interested and disinterested Malays were seated in the multipurpose hall, trying to hold a proper conversation amidst the loud booming music. Anyway what really interest me was that the bride and bridegroom were no where to be seen. It seems that it was a malay wedding culture where the bride and bridegrrom will only appear at certain stipulated times and if you miss it, just take your meals and be off. I find this extremely interesting as my impression of a wedding is that the main centre of attraction should be the bride and groom and it seems so inappropriate that they were not around.


Where are the bride and the groom??



There they are!!



A group photo.. I am the odd one out with my height...I look horrible in this picture!!


The interesting theory that came out from the discussion I had with my wife while we were enjoying the sumptuous food was that the three main races in singapore have very different opinions about weddings and it can be classified under the heading "C"

For the chinese, we are very concerned about "CLASS", we would never be caught dead (pun intended) hosting a wedding dinner in a community centre or void deck. Chinese are too concerned about their "face" to do so. They would not mind incurring huge amount of loans just to have it at XXX hotel or XXX restaurant just be cause the ambience is good or the food is good. It seems like the bigger the place, the more class one has.

For the malays, it is important to have the "COMMUNITY". The strength of the communal spirit is exceptionally strong. It seem like a wedding is never a two people affair, it is not even a two family affair but the whole clan (extended or not) affair. That is the beauty of it, the whole family is down with friends and friends of friends helping out in one way or another. It is seen as a mini carnival and this is really a joyous occasion. And trust me, you would be happy when you see the bill after the wedding ( And definitely not as much as the chinese)

For the Indians, well I don't really know... Perhap there must be "CURRY" a staple in Indian cuisine. Anyway can't blame me I have never attended one myself. Any invitations?

Dinner, Date and Dilemma

I had dinner with a friend on Wednesday. Actually more of a friend, a younger "sister" whom I know for close to 10 years now. I was about 30 minutes late as usually, and as usually it was the horrible traffic jams and of course the oh so committed "me" spending time with my track and field girls at the Bishan Stadium that evening.

After meeting her near Bugis Junction, setling down comfortably in the cozy but quite crampy restaurant with a seat which barely covered three quarters of my posterior, we ordered our food and have our long awaited ccccccccaaaaaaatching up of about 2 years.

I was surprised that it has been so long since we conatcted each other and my "sister" was able to deal a sacarastic "comment" that I will never ( and I should not embarrass myself by highlighting and bolding the word) contact her. It was then i confessed and she with a little bith of sheepishness that we both have classfied each other under the oh so cliche category known as "leisure" ( well at least that was what she classify me under now in her oh so obiang phone which had already been taken off M1 handphone promotional classified like eons ago) It is like we will contact each other when we inexplicitly scrolled up or down our contact list and realised that there was this name so familiar once but have not been contacting for like ages. Trust me, we belonged to that category now. We had a good laugh over it and was of course buys speculating when we will meet again after this dinner appointment. We laugh as possible scenarios were proffered such as my daughter's 1st month celebration, her wedding dinner ( which of course brought a flurry of comment about getting the best deal for whichever hotel's packages). Then again we promised each other we will again catch up during the period before christmas. Maybe we can then gave each other our belated birthday gifts. ( hoope she is reading this...)

We talked about everything and it was such a feeling to just share about things. From her boyfriend, to my wife, from our mutual friends to her ex-classmates to my colleagues, from our beliefs and aspirations and trepidations. I told her I was not really a free thinker but a think-freer- Someone who can oipen thoughts and provoke thinking and she laughed. It was such a hearty laugh and i found myself smiling. It has been a really difficult week for me for deep inside me there were so many things, doubts and frustrations that is circling. It was easy to pretend nothing has happen and just smile, but I did just that that evening. It was a great dinner, a getaway and short 2 hour mental spa. But sad to say it didn't really last. Just like the pan fired dory fish and the miserly piece of brownie. But then I was glad to meet up.

It was a great dinner and to know people do care.

Youth Day 2005

A horrible day that reminds people like me that it is a celebration de passe.

We had it in school in a different way this year. With the parents coming on board with the food preparation and the ingenious stuff of nail art and of course the disco in the IJ hall. (So what about Zouk? We bring Zouk to IJ! :P)

Anyway to keep the long story short, as a member of the Staff welfare Committee and one of the 2 teachers who were overseeng this event with infrequent meeting with the parents, I had to say that it is quite a success. Let me count thee reasons

Firstly the parents are happy as they got to be more involved in the celebrations. It is after all their daughters who are in the school and benefitting from this whole celebrations. On top of that the three containers of bee hoon which were unconsumed by the girls were sent to the IJ homes for the sisters. A great gesture. How I know? I was the one who delivered it with Dr Angela Wong, a parent.

Secondly the teachers are happy because 1) they no longer have to humiliate/embarrass/showcase their talents/perform/do silly things/all of the above during this day when apparently the kids turned emperors/kings/goddesses... Serving them food drinks and ice cream is okay since we are pretty much in the service industry anyway.

Thirdly the girls are happy because they get 1)free food, 2) free drinks, 3) free icecream, 4) free gifts, 5) free disco entertainment and 6) free time ( no lessons) Although many girls commented that it was boring, with all the useless free gifts and stuff, I think this year gift is pretty meaningful. The IJ lanyard can be us to put you ez link card, pretty executive looking... and of course youc an put your contact and name just in case you suffer from a bout of amnesia and need people to bring you home. Lastly if you are really stressed, you can of course chew it and let the blue color stain your mouth. As a last resort, you can try to end your life with it by getting a friend ( if she do it, she is not really a friend) to try to choke you with it. Be creative think out of the box. there are like thousand and one way to do with it.

Anyway Happy Youth Day to all the youths. Celebrate Youth for it represent the most vibrant of you. For those teachers who are not youthful like me, what the heck, at least it is a holiday...

And of course that's my 2 cents worth

Electric Maze

try it but be forewarned that it can be addictive and extremely frustrating!!

The IJ Song ( to be sung by IJ girls of course)

Tune By: Que Sera Sera’s Composer (brownie points for those who knows who) Doris Day
Lyrics by: A sleep-deprived Ego one
In The Tune Of: Que Sera Sera. Duh.

When I was just a P6 girl,
I asked my teacher, where should I be?
Should it be IJ?
Or snobbish RG?
This’ what she said, to me:

“dear whoever your name may be"
"It depends on your P S L E"
"To get into IJ is quite easy,"
"as long as you're from its primary” (affliated mah)

I shall stop this before people starts slapping me.

I need more sleep.

Pictures From Hong Kong

I am still experimenting with flickr, a pretty good software and site for uploading photos on the net. Didn't really have time to siev through the really badly taken ones, but just to whet the appetiti of thos who really want to know what I was up to in Hong Kong.

will be trying to edit and put everything in order once I get the hang of it..

Scary Movies

I guess I am someone who you can classify as a spontaneous person. I like spontaneity and I act on impulse. I sometimes do something for no apparent reason, simply because I feel like doing it and I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering, 'why didn't I do that?'. But that also means I sometimes do certain things I end up regretting, like hopping on those silly thrill rides that really scares the shit out of me. But I was glad that I tried having the smelly toufu in Hong Kong. I can still remember the stench of the sewage pipes coming from the itchen when the dish was delivered to us. Look on face - priceless. Sad though I didn't have a picture to show it.

Anyway, today I shall talk about another bo liao topic. As you can see I am again procrastinating on my report for my Hong Kong trip, but then again whatever...

I don't like scary movies. I don't like scary movies because, well, they scare me. Even up till now, I still cannot comprehend why a reasonably logical person would want to spend good money just to get scared when the money could be better utilized on more worthy causes such as books, CDs, or even a sinfully good buffet. It would be really in a very insane state of mind would you see me in a movie theatre watching all those scary movies. In fact the last horror one which I was passively been dragged to watch was "What lies beneath" and I remember half of the time my face was hidden conveniently behind my haverpack and my mouth muttering prayers throughout. It was quite a traumatic and stressful 2 hours for me and the very fact that we went to watch a movie was to destress. Since then we watch shows like "Shrek", "Shrek 2" and "The incredibles"- Safe, and wholesome entertainment and with no resident spooks and apparitions.

Anyway the Japanese and the Koreans had really mastered the art of making really good and "horrorful" horror movies, from the previews I have seen but up till now I refused to get dragged along to various horror flicks such as The Eye, Dark Water, Shutter and Para Para Sakura over the past few years. The really good ones like "the ring" is still collecting dust on my TV console.

In fact as a third and neutral party, I feel that I would be able to provide people especially those who are scaredy cats like me to survive the ordeal. This is especially important if you don't want to come across as a pathetic, useless person who get cardiac arrest everytime a thing, a sound or a fart comes out..

Being the selfless and *cough*humble*cough* person that I am, I shall share all my tricks with you

The Art of Watching Horror Flicks Without Looking Like A Nervous Wreck. Guide To Surviving Horror Movies

1) Wear as little as possible to the movie.
So when you're shivering in fright and fear, you can conveniently blame it on the air-con instead. Remember that the aircrn are always dialed to the max especially in the cinema. Call it the 4D ( not the gambling stuff but the fourth dimension) A standard scary movie outfit for guys consist of nothing more than a singlet and a pair of sports shorts, Footwear: optional slippers or sandals. For the ladies, you might want to try your luck with a spaghetti or more daring bikini top, beware though you might end up giving the ah peks at Lido a heart attack or something.

2) Carry something
Bring a bag, haversack, or baby along. When you are busy with say, fiddling with the bag handles, straps or even baby pacifier, this can make it easy to pretend watching the movie but yet focussing on something else.

3) Buy lots of snacks into the movie theatre.
Inconclusive studies have shown that one's reception to scares is reduced when one is engaged in secondary activities, such as munching on nachos while irritating the hell out of your fellow movie goers. Try not to buy nuts though: I will not be responsible for any cases of choking.

4) Wear shades into the theatre.
That way, you can pretend to be watching the show even though your eyes are wide shut during then. If your date bugs you about it, just pretend to look cool and talk weird like those guys in the Matrix, and she'll probably leave you alone after a while.

5) Do not reach for your drink at the end of the show
Not even if your throat feels dry because you were scared shit-less. Because what appears to be the end of a scary movie is usually not the ending. They will probably trick you with what seems to be a happy ending and then shock you by getting the resident spook out to say bye-bye. It is not cool if you choke on your coke.

6) Limit your line of sight to the subtitles section.
Do not, I repeat, do NOT under all circumstances sneak even a peek at the main screen. Your cover will be blown once you start screaming after that bug-eyed apparition made its grand appearance. Since you're been reading the subs, you'll also be able to hold an intelligent conversation with your date after the show ends. But if there're no sub-titles, tough luck.

(Mr Ng had so far sworned off horror movies and the last he watched was "The Eye 10" on VCD. It was still pretty traumatic for him and since then he has been sleeping with his pillow on his face and blanket wrapped around him. He strongly cautions those who follows the instructions that it might work in principle but then he will not be held responsible for any unfortunate circumstances that might happen)

Sex Blog... Yah You hope....


I have just finished unpacking and of course been working for the past few hours cleaning up the house and doing laundry... I am damn tired now.

Been reading the blog happening s and realise that the things that had captured people imaginations is all those sex blog and of course nude blogs.

If I were to burst my site counter, I should considered putting artistically tasteful (read nude) pictures of myself.

The New Paper, Today and of course our one and only Strait Times will be screaming headlines like this: " Nude Teacher Blog! What happened to morality?!" or "Teacher of reputed Convent School posted nude pictures on the internet" habahabahaba... You know those stuff of crap. I will be most probably be going to the P office for a word or two over a cup of coffee and get ready to answer myself infront of the Superintendent of the Ministry to explain myself... Damn so much crap..

I think I got to work out first..

Let me tried to get back from the jet lag ( even if there is no time difference between HK and Singapore) and try to tidy up all my stuff...

Back from the Pearl of the Orient

Hi readers

I am back.. well not exactly.. I am now in the departure hall of Hong Kong International Airport waiting to hop on to my flight. Time is 7.02pm and I will be back in about say 4 hrs time.

Took about 300 plus pixs. Will try to post whatever I have found in Hong Kong

I need food and caffeine..

See Ya

Draw a pig and know yourself

I must be seriously bored but I guess this is one way to get be hyper again... I am flying off in like 600 minutes later to Hong Kong.. Will definitely be putting in great stuff if I can for the blog. *Cross my fingers*

Anyway check this out

Trying to draw with the mouse is quite difficult as you could see from my masterpig opps masterpiece...



Anyway, they will ask you a few questions about your pig after you drew it . And this is what I get :

you are a realist

you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

You are emotional and naive, care little for details and are a risk-taker.

You are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

you are a good listener

You drew medium sized tail. ( I'm not posting what this mean cause it'll spoil the fun !)

Ok now, go and draw your own freaking PIG ! Let me know and post a trackback K??

Ultimate Boredom

For those who are so bored and have nothing to do

try this

Singaporeans - Lucky and Pampered

Somebody commented that I tends to complain a lot. Some people complain that I don't write too much about myself in the blog. Anyway some part of my life is too personal and sensitive to be put on a public blog. The rest of my life is pretty normal , I work , I teach, I mould lives and I do housework... Any way, many out there can blog about the above mentioned in a much more interesting and funny way than I do. Serious. But thank to all for making my site counter cross the 10000 mark. Please wait while I remove the smug look from my face...

Well which bring me to my boliao topic of the day - Pampered Singaporeans. It does not take a nuclear scientist to know that Singaporeans are a pampered lot. Branded stuff, walking in air conditional comfort and anywhere out of the 200m, must have transport ie wheels, travellator, escalators, or even a chivalrous gentleman to piggyback.

Singapore are well known for their picky attitude when it comes to services and of course even jobs. In a newspaper report, it was mentioned that

Singapore's unemployment rate rose to 3.9 percent in the first quarter, the government said Wednesday, as lower economic growth forced slower job creation. That's up from 3.7 percent in the previous quarter, the Ministry of Manpower said. Some 16,900 jobs were added in the first quarter - below the 32,700 jobs created in the fourth quarter.

In fact I have heard instances of people not accepting job offers because apparently it would be too much of a bother to travel from Ang Mo Kio to Bedok to work. And the alternate Saturday off was not really a turn on.

He rejected the job offer

Anyway a recent report which talked about Singaporeans' average standard of living ( Read this..) shows that even the poor and destitute can have their daily fix of class 95fm or even the latest channel 8 serials ( Have you watch the doofus Christopher Lee in the latest channel 8 serial.. but that not the point) It meant that we have almost everything , thanks to our gahmen. seriously how many of you have an emergency pack ready for emergencies like disaster or camping out for the Singapore Idol 2 audition. I can tell you people. Shockingly most of you wont.. Sign...

Well here come the best of the best when it come to utter "pamperedness"(Read this)

Jasmine Loo said, "On this type of journey we need more water than food. So I will get better prepared for that in future.

Added Peter Loo, "We have to stop here and maybe I have to go back and take my car and pick them up."

The Loo family was not the only one that came unprepared for the rough terrain and long walk.

Said Kelvin Wong, another hiker on the trail, "A lot of young parents have to bring the stroller to put the babies in. It would really help if we have more board walks, more concrete paths so that we can push the baby the larger part of the way, rather than carrying him or her plus the stroller."

Singaporeans, newsflash. You want to enjoy nature, and you want to have comfort, please go to the nearest park, and sit your ass on the nearest bench. There you can play frisbee or roller-blade or do whatever you do. You can even barbeque and even walk the dog.

Some places, you bring baby there also useless, they are too young to appreciate nature, no matter how much you think they will. Yes parents would cried in blasphemy and said all this about bonding with kids. Come mon. there is a time and definitedly a place for all this. Nature walks, canopy walks etc?? Half the time, they're sleeping, another half of the time, they get stung by mosquitoes and crying. Wait till they can walk, then bring them there.

Please, don't bring your baby stroller to the Nature Reserve, and complain that you cannot maneuver it in the reserve. Its a Nature Reserve,you fool, Not a shopping mall. And please don't even complain about the weather if it rain, there is no underground tunnel of mall or even ranger's transport to bring you and your baby back to civilisation.

If you are old, on a wheelchair, then the park is a wrong place for you. I'm sorry and I am definitely not trying to be rude of something but its Mother Nature, not a Bontanical Gardens. I don't mean it in a bad way, but its not the place for you.

So please don't make Nature bend over backwards to accomodate your demands. You cannot expect to open a nature reserve and expect to accomodate people of all ages. If you do that, you have to compromise on the experience. How about throwing in a travellator?

You want the tree-top walk to be accessible? Why not bulldoze a concrete path straight to the suspension bridge? Too much stairs to climb? Why not make level any incline, so that the road is flat ? Hell we can even make a lift if the gahmen approves it..

Why not build cafes/Mcdonalds every 100m so that they can sell you water, water that you stupidly did not bring for the trip? Why not think bigger? We can build a Glutton's Square right in the middle of the tropical forest, and sell over-priced regular hawker food.

At the same time, why not make a multi-storey carpark? Last time I checked, Singaporeans like linked walkways very much, why not build a linked walkway to the bridge, that way, you can enjoy nature in rain or shine. Good idea right? Also why not build a shopping mall, to take advantage of the traffic? So much trees, wasted space right? Think of the prime real estate.

The problem with people is that sometimes, Nature is too 'real' for them to appreciate. They need to have it dumbed down, made confortable. They want animal shows, dolphins playing with beach balls, or talking parrots. Faced with hot and stuffy Mother Nature, they complain.

So don't ruin the experience of others, so that you can enjoy what you think Nature is.

So Please , next time, just stay at home and suck thumb, watch National Geographic/Animal Planet or something, or go to the nearest heartland mall. Don't bother to go nature park lah.

(For the record, Mr Ng enjoyed nature waks and of course the occasional visit to Mount Faber where he act as a voyuer peeking young couples making out ... Other than that perverse behaviour he like to lounge in front of his 43 inch tv and watch the National Geographic and the Discovery Channel and the sweat he broke out is usually sweat from his palms from holding too long to the remote. Nonetheless, he also realise that there is a need to get his fat ass out from the sofa and start doing some exerise as the levis jeans is getting tighter by the day...:P)

Irrelevant Mutterings

I haven't blogged for weeks, but guesses I should write something before I fly off to Hong Kong in 2 days time.

I am having writer block, you know those stuff when your head is filled with stuff and it just can't translate to words which I can so expressed what I feel about things around me. perhaps I am just too busy, or just too lazy or maybe a combination of both. I have a couple of post still in draft forms but I just can seem to deliver it through.. Maybe I will get some inspiration from my trip to Hong Kong.

Realising that this 2 weeks I am been rather involved in pupil related stuff... anyway that what you would expect from a teacher. Sometimes I realise admire other teachers who can simply multitask and then still have these close relationships with students. I am kinda of an extreme, I can be close if I want to but I can be really cold at times, temperamental? Yes, PMSing? Maybe. But I guess this is kinda of like when you try to divided your attention all over the place, you tend to get nothing...

I was involved in Track and Field Camp and of course the RMUN conference and of course popping by for my form class BBQ. It has been a tiring week for me and I have not really get down to writing my Masters assignment. I am really in deep trouble, but I think it is just that there are so much thing to do and so much things to distract me away from doing it.. Long overdue DVD movies, TV programmes, Confederations Cup on cable and of course the internet. Which kinda leave me little time to blog..

Anyway, I was actually thinking of getting a tattoo done. My subconscious has been telling me that it is so cool but my rationality told me that I would be a laughing stock in the teaching community if I get one - What have become of teachers nowadays. Anyway I decided to do some research by popping by some shops in Heeren and Far East Plaza . After a while of window tattoo shopping, I was still in two minds whether to get it done at one of the shops. the tattooist( yes it got pass the stage of window shopping) pointed to a newspaper clipping on the wall of the tattoo shop saying 7 out of 10 Singaporean are tattooed. Cool . If we still have the notion of my mum’s generation, it will very well mean 7 out of 10 Singaporean are gangsters. But we know that’s not true right? For god sake I know a girl who tattooed the Astro Boy on her back, and of course a girl who tattoo a rose at where the sun don't shine. Heck i have seen girls who in a sudden enthusiasm to embrace their mother tongue tattoo their chinese names on the ankles and lower back. now how gangster can that be ? If she’s really a gangster , then she must be those act-cute gangster loh. I am still quite averse to the idea of tattooing something where it is really visible like the ankles or arms. I was actually quite attracted to the idea of tattooing something on my back, you know a dragon or something? Or soemthing to proclaim your love to someone - like my wife name... Hm worth a thought.

Anyway I walked out of the shop without doing anything, I watch a movie instead. Tattoo? Hm... maybe next time then...

Exclusivity

being exclusive is something that I strive to... I try to be different and difficult at times. Whether it is using IE ( I try to use firefox), whether it is using Singtel ( i was one of the few who move to the dark side when M1 was formed), whether it is using Nokia handphones ( i am proud to say that I never own a Nokia handphone... I used a motorola v3688, a motorola v70, sonyericsson T610 and now contemplating the motorola razr 3 or the K750i). I like to be "difficultly" different or "differently" difficult if these are newly coined terms.

guess how pissed I am when they tell me that the Manhattan credit card I am using is now so common that every tom dick and harriet is using it. damn i am going to terminate it.

The Blogger's Prayer

Our words, who art in notepad,
Blogging be thy Name.
Thy traffic come.
Thy ego will be done,
On wordpress as it is in xanga.
Give us this day our daily RSS feeds.
And forgive us our typos,
As we forgive those who flame against us.
And lead us not into blogwhoring,
But deliver us from self-importance.
For thine is the blogosphere,
and the hit counter,
and the sympathy vote,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Effective Leadership Communication

Different types of bras

Political Bra: They make mountains out of molehills.

Dictator Bra: They suppress the masses.

Social Worker Bra: They uplift the fallen.

Shopping

I have a passion for that. I sweared that many women in Singapore would raised both hands and of course their flip flops or eight inch stilettos to declare it as an Olympic event. In case people think that men are goal oriented animals who zipped into a shopping mall and come out in 5 minutes flat with the desired item, I am I think a rarity. I enjoyed the long leisurely walk into crowded malls and looking at items and gizmos in display. In fact I was pleasantly surprised to read this on the paper a few days back. In fact i applause this move by retailers! What a great way to remake Singapore! MAke us the shopping paradise, make us the food paradise and make us the city of decadence.

In case you are thining that I am putting a negative spin on this, I am a true advocate of shopping. I find it really lacking when shop assistants who were giving people the 5 cents face if people strolled into the shop just 15 ( i repeat again 15 minutes) before it close, And it is just 9.45pm. I was given this rude treatment when my wife and I patronise this THIS FASHION shop at Suntec City at the time earlier stated. A nice top caught my wife's eyes and it was beckoning for her to try it on and buy it... And to cut the long story short, she took a couple more dresses and bottoms ( if that's what you call them) to try on, much to the disgusted looks of the shop assistants. I was waiting outside trying to make myself look busy. It must have been a sight seeing a man, with a handbag and browsing through the tube tops and mini skirts. But I would spare all of you the imagination. While I was "engrossed" with the windowshopping, the lights went off like some scary scene in a japanese horror movie and the shutters eased its way down, at that was 9.50 pm ( about 10 minutes BEFORE its closing time) In an attempt to add new shopping experience to the shoppers, the lights went psychedelic, flashing lights which goes in sync with the chinese techno song blasting through the stereos. And our shopping experience were totally marred and no surprise we bought nothing from the shop..

Anyway, backto the midnight shopping, I totally love the experience of shopping after 10pm ( not am) it is quieter and as Singaporeans are generally a late-sleeper nation, so it make plenty of sense to have extended shopping hours. I am really GLAD.

Anyway back to my shopping habits, I have this soft spot for music. Just a few days ago my wife was attending a chinese dinner and I waas wandering along City Hall to Suntec area, yes all alone and enjoying every minute of the 3 plus hours I had. Most of the time I was just wandering aimlessly, looking.... observing and of course deep in my own thoughts. I spend a grand total of 1.5 hrs at the music shops, and about 3/4 of an hour in the bookshop and I ended up about $100 poorer. Impulsive buyer I think so... Load of happiness... yes definitely

The therapeutic feeling of shopping and buying... D#$@.. I am becoming a woman.... :P

Anyway, these are the stuff I got.....

From Gramophone ( Capitol Building)

1) Corrine May "Fly Away"




A classic album in 2002 with little or no fanfare. The songs are great and the lyrics are meaningful especially the song "fly away"

When will you be home?"
she asks as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds and yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

If you really want to be a bit cheapskate and sample ALL her songs before you trust my impeccable taste. Can click here and then look for the albums and lyrics. Don't complain if you got to fork out your allowance to get both of them.. Be warned...

2) Lisa Ekdahl sing Salvatore Poe




A swedish jazz singer with that breathless voice which is so .....indescribeable If yoiu love Lisa Ono, you should get this.. You want to know more about her, sure!

3) Madagascar OST




I like to move it.... move it..... you like to.... Need I say more..

At HMV (City LINK)

4) Black Eyed Peas Monkey Business




Cool and funky.. Always on my stereos.. Pump it.. Don't Plunk Phunk( correction made) with my heart.. What is Phunk anyway??

and last but not least....

At MPH

5) 1421 The Year China Discovered the World by Gavin Menzies




"...On the 8th of March, 1421, the largest fleet the world had ever seen sailed from its base in China. The ships, huge junks nearly five hundred feet long and built from the finest teak, were under the command of Emperor Zhu Di's loyal eunuch admirals. Their mission was 'to proceed all the way to the end of the earth to collect tribute from the barbarians beyond the seas' and unite the whole world in Confucian harmony. The journey would last over two years and circle the globe. When they returned Zhu Di lost control and China was beginning its long, self-imposed isolation from the world it had so recently embraced. The great ships rotted at their moorings and the records of their journeys were destroyed. Lost was the knowledge that Chinese ships had reached America seventy years before Columbus and circumnavigated the globe a century before Magellan. They had also discovered Antarctica, reached Australia three hundred and fifty years before Cook and solved the problem of longitude three hundred years before the Europeans..."

Cool... history from a sinocentric point of view..


If you would excuse me now... I got to get back to my purchases...

After a week hiatus, I am bad.. I mean back with more things to share.

Thanks for the concern, I have been really resting well. Did a lot of thinking which I would not bore you people with the question marks I had. Some of you have perhaps seen me in school , les than cheerful... I guess there are certain things that I need to think through.

I guess people reaching a milestone in life need to really evaluate the path before him. familiarity breeds contempt and of course breeds a fear for change. If things in life can be seen on a two-dimensional easel, moving along a straight predictable path, perhaps one might question, what is all about life?

I am not trying to be philosophical or anything, it is just a random thought which had been ebbing in my brain over and over again.

it is the start of the holidays and surprisingly I don't really have the mood to write

If this post make no sense to you.. don't worry it is just me rambling with no focus.

I should be at Yunnan today with a pack of students for the Chinese field trip but was down with fever for the past few days. The school made the decision to withdraw me from the trip. I am pretty upset with this decision for I felt that i have let my colleagues down. It was such a last minute thing and I have this obsessive perversion that I lacked professionalism when i failed to go. I put aside all my other commitment and took a good rest ( i can count the hours I was awake during saturday and sunday with my fingers) just to make sure I would be ready but i guess it was just too late.

Shucks! no mood to blog...

I make a difference

Got this from a colleague quite meaningful... a good message to a dull day

How much do you make?
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He posed this question: How could learning from someone makes a lifetime decision that his best option in life was to be a teacher? He reminded the other dinner guests that maxim about teachers: "Those who can: do. Those who can't: teach.To elaborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he said. "Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?"

"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I can make a c+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."

"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."

"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home."

"You want to know what I make?"

"I make kids wonder."

"I make them question."

"I make them criticize."

"I make them apologize and mean it."

"I make them write."

"I make them read, read, read."

"I make them spell "definitely & beautiful" over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again."

"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."

"I elevate them to experience music and art and the joy in performance, so their lives are rich, full of kindness and culture, and they take pride themselves and their accomplishments."

"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart...and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention."

"You want to know what I make?" "I make a difference."

"What do you make?"

Lousy Day

Today is a lousy day...
WHY?

firstly Carrie Underwood won the American Idol 4..... I think sexism is at play here....

secondly Liverpool won the uefa Champions League 2005..... I have nothing to say about that...

Give me a third and it would turned from a lousy day to a yucky day...

I can see that George Bush agrees with me.....

Drastic act for a drastic situation --- The IJ HeartBeat

This is a personal appeal for all students, ex and future ( yah right) .. Sorry for the corny remarks but this is an appeal for the students who chanced on my blog and have been getting their daily dosage of fun, sarcasm and of course entertainment to help out.

The school is organising a performance at the Kallang Theatre called the IJ HeartBeat TOMORROW... (meaning 26 May 2005) showcasing all our SYF performances.

The reason why I am appealling to all is because as of today, from what I have heard, we have approximately 400 unsold tickets and that means on the average the school is actually making a loss of about 5000 dollars. Not that it is a BIG sum but I shuddered at what we are going to do to recoup this... ie more fundraising and more fundraising and more chocomania and argh...

On top of that the teachers in charge of sales of tickets are perhaps going through mini panic attacks and witnessing unchartable stress levels which can only be relieved with the number of tickets sold...

PLEASE HELP! GIRLS! Get your mommy and daddy and your boy-boy, your doggie and everybody to watch it. For those who see this, please sms to other to watch it. Tickets are available through phone sales and of course at the door.

And a big Thank You in advance!
(If people, anybody ask you how you get to know from this, it would be appreciated if you quoted that MR NG had been trying to sell the tickets through his blog... not that I am trying to take any credit, but I am trying to see how much sales I can push from the blog before I sell it to Google... :P)

Yucky

By the time most of the girls read the post, your fate had been almost if not indefinitely sealed. Forget about the long overnight girly movie marathons, forget about the bunk in some I don't know you don't know anywhere chalets, and yes kiss good bye to that favourite Mango crop top or the Top Shop demin skirt.

If you still don't know what i am talking about, oblivously blissful, congrats, you are really going to "si de heng nan kan" (or loosely translated to "die until very ugly") The results are out and the signs are not good. Students are not doing well, especially the sec 4s. Humanities in particular, Social studies especially. Notwithstanding, the issue about dropping standards, and the possible angry parents' complaints going straight up to the big boss' inbox, it is really a stressful period for teachers, and students alike. A teacher commented in her usually angmoh very accurate and very slang accent, after looking her students results, "in my 20 years as a form teacher, I have ever seen such horrible results, yes all these while in the weaker classes, there is always a couple of students who passed only one or two, but never have I see so many in one class". And that my girls, is the true reality of the results.

And for the record, I am not criticising all of you, I know some of you are working really hard, and are really stress up with the American Idol results. At this point of time I can see 4 types of students coming up

1. "A" sai ones - these are the capable ones where the results are ok. They followed what is happening in the curriculum and have absolutely no problems except for raising their hands to get more paperduring the exams and bringing more than 2 calculators to the exam hall. They are also the one who can give a detailed report about where they could possibly go wrong with the extra paper they had asked during the duration of the paper itself
2. "B"uay sai ones- not that capable but stll trying. Results not bad except can mix up reduction with oxidation, "thigh" and "tie" and "differentiation" with "integration". Basically need the time and effort to consoldiate what they have learnt in. Quite Ok lah, still on the right track
3. "C"ah na sai ones - seriously very weak but still can be saved.. if put in extra extra extra hard work then can progress to the 2nd category, but as I say need hard work
4. "D"ua lou sai ones - these are clearly the ones which make the teachers high on fever and constant vomit. These are students who are constantly getting F9 and taking them like badges of honour. It is going to be very very tough

So where are you now?

I know that there are many of you who are concerned about your grades especially when your grades don't seems to consumerate with your efforts. Alot of you are also facing stress from parents regarding the results. Let me illustrate why it is so frustrating through this picture

As you can see, it will be a little bit difficult to try to get what you want but until you try to work hard first, things will be smoother on the way.

And by the way, if your parents are not invited to the Parent Teachers dialogue, congrats you are in the A and B category. Give yourself a pat on the back with your deformed hand. With regards to the PT dialogue, it seems like a sit still amazing race, all pariticpant ( read teachers) are given 15 minutes to tell the parents the progress of the students. The nature of the conversation will usually go something like this

T- Teacher, P- Parent

T: Hi, you are..... ( search database in brain for a looklike in daughter), oh yes Mr and Mrs so and so. Thank you for coming. This is your daughter's result. (whipped out report book.. pauses for 31 sseconds)

T: Uh huh.. Mr and Mrs so-and-so, as you can see, X( insert name) did not do very well in the exams ( loosely translated: your daughter screwed up the exams). I was wondering what we can do to help her ( loosely translated: what are you as parents going to do about it?)

P: Hm... (pauses for 3 seconds) Mr/Mrs/Ms/ X (delete whichever not appropriate) how is my daughter in class?

T: Hm.. she is inattentive/lazy/don't hand up work/anythingunflattering. She really need to pull up her socks.

(the next 5 minutes or so will be on strategies, I should not bored you with that)

T: Thank You....

Anyway you get the point. What really pissed me off is that there are some parents who sit down in front of the teachers and asked US what we are going to do about it. Cuse me, We are teachers-cum-babysitters. We see your daughter in her awaken state more than you. Driving her up the slope to school every morning with a peck beofre she goes to school doesn't quantify you to literally throw your weight around. Let's do the maths, you got 1 daughter at the most two or even three or at the most four children to look after. We as teachers worried ourselves with at least 40. Sometimes it really scared me how some parent can be so aloof. If they can just look after their ONE kid, don't you think it will be easier for us who needs to look after 40 or even more. There are some who need more help, we tried to be imparital but there are just some who deserves and need more than some of you and we as teachers have only 24 hours to spare, if we don't even count our own family into it.

There are also some parents who insist we do something about it, pushng ALL the responsibilites to the teachers. Let me state this once and for all... teachers are here to help you get that ideal daughter of yours, we can't create miracles! You want miracles, ask God for it. And then at the end of the day, you get a daughter to look after you for the rest of your retirement age and we get a small thank you card during teacher day. Please get the freaking priorities right.

But then again in case some of you think that it is a parent bashing session, there are some of you who simply don't understand how much your parents love you. They don't show it in the usual hugs and kisses, and they seem to reprimand you for everything you do.. but they meant well, some of them just used the wrong way to express them. You should count yourself lucky to have parents who love you so much and want the best for you... even though it is at the xpense of the teachers.....

Anyway to end this grudge filled post, I should reproduce the response I gave to a parent today. If your mom and dad are upset over not been given the coverted green form, let them know what we feel. (PS I don't speak on behalf of the teachers, but i guess I can use mine as an example)

The Letter

Dear XXX

Thank You for your email dated 24 May 2005.

One of the reasons why your daughter, YYY failed the essay component for SS Examinations was because she misread the question and failed to answer the question properly. I agree that it would be a good lesson for her as she will be more careful in the O Level examinations, where it matters most. In terms of level of competence, she is capable of doing well but needs to start consoldiating what she had learnt for the past 1 and a half years.

One good thing about YYY is that she tries and I can understand your concerns when she had not achieved her expected grades. On the other hand, there is improvement in her results; it is just that at this point of time, good results are not shown as she is still in the process of reinforcing her foundations and learning new things. Her grade had improved from a poor E8 (44%) to a B4, a jump of 4 grades and that in a matter of 5 months. This is, a good improvement and a clear reflection again that her hard work is paying off.The reason why ALL the teachers teaching YYY is not seeing her parents is because the general consensus is that she is clearly doing the right thing and if she continues, she will get the grade she so desired. The PT dialogue is meant to be a feedback for the parents and also a chance for the teachers to speak to parents about correcting certain strategies which did not seems to work on the child. Thus it would be better for the teachers to work with parents which children are clearly not on the right track.

YYY has been an extremely sensible girl and it is a joy to have her in class. She is a proactive learner and keen to learn from her mistakes. I can see that she is also very stressed due to the examinations and this may have affected her performance. In conclusion, this is a period of time where YYY is "digesting" what had been taught and to slowly consoldiate what she had learnt. It is expected that she will find it a little tough at this point of time especially with new materials taught and constantly trying to make sense of the previous topics. I would urge patience and encouragement on the part of the teachers and the parents as she is clearly on the right track.

If you would like to talk to any of the teachers, please feel free to call me in the office or to contact me via email.

And that's is my long awaited 2 cents worth

(Anyway I received some bad news - my scholarship application had been rejected and that means that I will have to stay around in Singapore for the time being... Talk about yucky things)

40 reasons why you should not publish your pictures on the net...

Really funny.. Check it out!! (Be Patient...)

Check this out


Yes the fever is here.....

a girl meets bossanova

In case you are thinking this is going to be a grumpy long post again, you are in for a pleasant surprise.

That's all folks...



Nah I am joking.


Serious...


I have nothing really much to comment about the things that happens recently. The Philips Yeo A*star issue had gone out of hand and back in hand and showhand and now nothing to talk about... Issue closed... Which mean that i can now share something that I like.



Just got this CD called "a girl meets bossanova" by a japanese girl Olivia. Got the album without hesitation when I heard it over the system at Bishan Junction 8 Sembawang Music Store. Love her soft, whispery and yet so girlish voice. In fact my car stereos has been playing this album for the past 3 days. Especially love her rendition of the song "Love Fool" which was a heavy metal love songs by the Cardigans. Her bossa nova rendition added a new dimension to the songs and I fell in love with it instantaneously. Another of my favourites is the song "Where is the love" about this person lamenting about her lost love. Pretty heart wrenching but giving a slightly uplifting beat. Really enjoyable.



Tried to know a little bit more about the singer from the website but it was all written in japanese. Maybe someone who know Japanese can kindly translate it for me. If you have anything about her, can let me know?

Wanted to put a short demo of some of the songs but realise that by doing so it will be infringing on copyright. If you really want to listen and hear fror yourself, can kindly come and "borrow" it from me. But please don't be cheapskate and burn a copy ok. Support IP, Stop Piracy OK??

coming from someone who buy pirated VCDs and DVDs and using pirated software.. it really sound convincing...

late nights coffee breaks

Writing has become a therapeutic thing for me, especially during this stressful period of time when teachers are expected to be factory workers and churned out stacks and stacks of marked examination scripts for the students. Not a pretty sight but teachers are always on the paper chase.


Here I am marking at the NUH canteen on saturday when I was waiting for my wife to get some of her work done.

And of course marking everywhere...


Marking on my bed.... sigh....

Anyway when I went for my coffee break, my loyal canine decided to help me out with some of the marking...


what type of history answers are we looking for??


Anyway I was quite relieved to be able to finish ALL my marking (*APPLAUSE) today and to make it even better, I have decided to put in some of the really ridiculous answers I got from the students. For the non history initiated , I have not forgotten about you people, You can first read up on the second russian revolution before looking at the great answers with good ingrish..

~~Classic answers~~

Trotsky whipped the inexperienced and tapped the expertise of ex army soldiers

(So Trotsky is now Lord of the Dance and also involved in BDSM activities... kinky...)

The provisional government were seen as weak and worst of all seen as the leaders who flavoured the Tsar.
(Chocolate or vanilla, rum and raisin?)

The Bolsheviks led by Lenin, formed an attractive and simple "Peace, Bread and Land" slogan. This captured the essence of the people's aims in a government. This turned tides
(Moses split the Red Sea and Lenin turned tides.....)

Lenin was also very influential, he was able to talk and win support from the peasants.
(Talking- isn't that the trait of a politican??)

Trotsky was able to get man to build up the Red Army
(The women don't get it...sexist)

The Bolsheviks also have propaganda methods as they owned "Prada"
(When did this capitalistic brand got associated with communism? What about Armani and Guess??)

The peasants found the ideology of communism to be very appealing. Though they did not understand communism...
(Hm....Huh???)

The soldiers saw that this offer Lenin gave was promising and then you have it, Bolsheviks won the support of the majority and was ready for anything.
(David Blaine in action...)

They had the power. They had the support, they did not need anything
(Sound like a Starhub commerical)

Lenin also promised that they would all have to worry about the things that they had to worry with (sic) the provisional government. Things like food and other basic necessities would be abundant.
(Lenin can really conjure things from nowhere...)


Ah.. too much caffeine need a break...

A post

Remember the last time I ask for students, present or ex to write about how they feel about the teachers, like me. One brave soul attempted, and I am brave enough to put it here on my blog....

Mr ng. the first thing i am reminded of you will be of your pronunciation of the word [question]. somehow i always hear it as [quet-chen]
okay i confess i often mimick you in class."GIRLS DO YOU HAVE ANY QUET-CHENS??"
aha sorry. i seek forgiveness. lol.more importantly, (it seems so with everyone too) you are extremely funny and always somehow able to lighten the class mood by telling us jokes. nevermind if some of them are lame, we appreciate your effort to make things more interesting. ahaha. (ALBERT) hahahahahhaha.
and of course! your ever-so-popular blog. it is listed as one of the-must-read-things-when-you-go-online. [oh please continue blogging... sometimes its really hard for us student to see why teachers act in a certain way... so please do continue to blog... and i'll be on my way to enlightenment.]
hahahaand yes i'll remember you for the teacher who insist students to greet you, though... er not too enthusiastically like me.lol. and i appreciate the fact that you still remember my name or me for that matter, and occasionally stop by to ask hows everything going...p.s. your watch is nice.but all in all,i think you are a pretty cool teacher. keep it up!!!!

nice.... :)
I can feel it eating into my ego........

Band Jam

As I tried to do some constructive work like marking and marking, I find myself digressing into weird stuff. I accidently stumble into a website which gave really weird band names. And mind you these bands existed!! And you thought that 5566, or Twins or FIR are weird. Anyway for the benefit of those who simply find this blog too irresistable or are simply too lazy to navigate away from this blog, this is just a gist of some really "anal-repulsive" "cute" band names

• Accidental Goat Sodomy
• A Cat Born in an Oven isn't a Cake
• The Albino Toilet Boys
• Anal Genocide
• Ancient Chinese Penis ( LOL I LIKE THIS ONE )
• The Archbishop's Enema Fetish
• Baby Shit Brown
• Big Fat Pet Clams From Outer Space
• Bleeding Rectum
• Betty's Not a Vitamin
• Clitoris That Thought It Was a Puppy
• Crosseyed Chicken
• Daddy's Got the Biggest
• Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles
• The Dead Bodyguards of Abraham Lincoln
• Hitler Stole My Potato (Definitely a History Fanatic)
• HIV and the Positives
• I Love My Shih-Tzu
• James, What Are We Gonna Call Our Band? ( strictly for the uncreative haha )
• Menstrual Gravy ( wth ?! )
• Nearly Died Laughing While Shaving My Butt
• Orgy With PigsPainful Discharge
• Psychic Buddist Gorillas
• Soothing Sounds For Baby
• They Tried To Frame OJ ( Haha a wise crack to OJ Simpson )
• This is Serious , Mom
• To Live and Shave in LA
• Touch Me Again and I'll Break Your Arms
• Van Gogh's Ear ( LOL !! For the clueluess , Van Gogh's an artist who cut off his own ear )
• The Vibrators

I just cannot imagine any of these bands as the opening act of top bands like Oasis or even Limp Bizkit or even Linkin Park. It sound so crude...

Being the always ingenious one, I decided to use my creativity to come up with some more local flavoured names which can be used for maybe Singapore Idol 2 Band Performance

• I propose in an LT
• Lee Kuan Yew and His Motley Crew
• Nathan Goes Jalan
• SM goes MM
• A Car and its COE
• The Mama-Shop boys
• The Tampenis Rapist
• Garfield and The Sterilised Neighbourhood Cats
• Preservated Anal Poo ( also known as the PAP )
• 3G and a Phone
• Changi and the Bootylicious Ah Kuas
• John Culler and the Crows
• The Holy Caucasians
• The Taxi Midnight surcharge
• The Bangala Who Looked At Me
• Lousy Rusty Trains ( also known as the LRT )
• The Expensive Kachang Puteh
• Talking Cocks
• Legs wide open Convent Girls
• Gahmen and the Bondbreakers
• The JooChiat Cheekopeks
• The Study-Mama who Gave me a Massage
• Jacintha Abishnagan and The Unprounciables
• I Gave her Money , She Gave me AIDS
• I do you do, I queue You Queue
• The Far East Plaza Wannabes
• Road Rage Menace
• The Summons from Aunty Fatimah
• The Milo Champs
• The Ah Soh Who wore a Bikini
• Lians and Bengs

How is that for innovation??

Buah Song Got a Question??

Inspired by a blog which used song names. I decided to do one myself. More of a matter-of-factly Q and A


"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?" by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn't. The bus will go round Toa Payoh new town passing by CHIJ Secondary near Philips before ending at Toa Payoh bus interchange. And for your information, Bruce, we don't name our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people, Singapore or foreign.

"Do You Know Where You're Going To?" by Diana Ross
Going to Toa Payoh Central to get the Old Chang Kee currypuffs. Needed a break after all the marking. By the way where are you heading to?

The Reason by Hoobstank
Ok this song is not in the form of a question but I just decided to use it anyway. Serious there are not just one reason why things do happen in certain ways. As I always say whatever happens happens for a reason. And some reasons are more important than others and usually we weigh them based on the T-R-I method... Whatever...

"Can't You Hear My Heartbeat?" by Herman's Hermits
I guess so, it is pumping really hard, I wonder why? Anyway, if not I will be really terrified. How can a dead person talk? Stupid question.

"How Do You Do It?" by Gerry and The Pacemakers
We are treading into M-18 territory here. On my wicked sense of humour... well have you been reading my blog? Obviously not...

"Don't You Care?" by The Buckinghams
See blog title. Got it??

"Do You Sleep?" by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
In the case of the Singapore weather, yes. Rained the whole afternoon. Well I haven't seen snow lately...

"Did You See Her Eyes?" by Illusion
Yah you mean those two beady things which look like little discoloured raisins, Yah yes

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid
Christmas? Still a couple of months later. Vesak Day is coming soon

"Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" by Lonnie Donegan
You'll have to ask our Minister Mentor. Actually I take back what I say, it should be our Senior Minister, he was the one who started the ban.

"How Deep Is Your Love?" by The Bee Gees
I'm not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

"How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

"Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. Goodness me!! What do you expect with a weather like ours?

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

"What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says 'Meow'?" by Margaret Young
Technically you have to be specific. Is it a 'high' meow or a 'low' meow. If it is a 'high' meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a 'low' meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between 'high' and 'low', this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

"Who Killed Bambi?" by The Sex Pistols
I let you know this secret, it's Gopal from Muthu's Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don't worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

"Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can't find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It's too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you'll just gross out the jury. And please spare me the pyjama-sy pyjam-ies

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
Not really. I'm pretty occupied most nights. This is especially true when I got to finish the tons of marking which had to be done in record time. Trust me the History elective is a helluva difficult paper to mark. I also got to feed myself, my wife and my dog, surf the net and also have the duty to entertain my blog “addicts” by putting up new posts. As you can see, I'm a pretty happening chap.

"What Are You Doing Sunday?" by Tony Orlando
Go Church? Nah I am joking. Chiong Geylang? No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book And maybe write something.

"Doesn't Anybody Love Me?" by The McGuire Sisters
Isn't it sad, don't worry if you are not loved. Remember God love you. And by the way if you are a little boy, Michael loves you too.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

"Julie Do You Love Me?" by Bobby Sherman
Please read previous question and answer and by the way I am not Julie

"Where's The Playground, Susie?" by Glen Campbell
How old are you, 6?

Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice
I'm not your Daddy, but I'm gonna to answer your question. To do it in the most unscientific and non-biologically manner - You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy's body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective - I mean the living... anyway who am I kidding of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy's tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? .. No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock. Simple??

"Where Did It All Go Wrong?" by Oasis
It all started with that unspectacular and unsatisfying night... Opps this is not supposed to be a follow up of the previous question. Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That's when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

"What's Up?" by4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business, typing my blog before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn't she what? What sort of a question is that? Maybe it is a typo the question should have been why didn't Rose Mary.... hm.. still make no sense...

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" by Rod Steward
Don't bother. I'm not interested.

"Can I Touch You There?" by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I'll said it again. Every part of me are meant for me wife to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Gary Glitter
No, I'm not going to touch you either, you freak.

"Do You Love Me?" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Who ... u talking to me??

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by Elton John
. . . . .

"Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann
That does it. I'm getting my crowbar. I am not interested in entertaining a freak like you and I should do something more productive like marking... SIGH!!