Tuesday, May 31, 2005

it is the start of the holidays and surprisingly I don't really have the mood to write

If this post make no sense to you.. don't worry it is just me rambling with no focus.

I should be at Yunnan today with a pack of students for the Chinese field trip but was down with fever for the past few days. The school made the decision to withdraw me from the trip. I am pretty upset with this decision for I felt that i have let my colleagues down. It was such a last minute thing and I have this obsessive perversion that I lacked professionalism when i failed to go. I put aside all my other commitment and took a good rest ( i can count the hours I was awake during saturday and sunday with my fingers) just to make sure I would be ready but i guess it was just too late.

Shucks! no mood to blog...

Friday, May 27, 2005

I make a difference

Got this from a colleague quite meaningful... a good message to a dull day

How much do you make?
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He posed this question: How could learning from someone makes a lifetime decision that his best option in life was to be a teacher? He reminded the other dinner guests that maxim about teachers: "Those who can: do. Those who can't: teach.To elaborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he said. "Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?"

"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a c+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."
"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."
"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home."
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids wonder."
"I make them question."
"I make them criticize."
"I make them apologize and mean it."
"I make them write."
"I make them read, read, read."
"I make them spell "definitely & beautiful" over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."
"I elevate them to experience music and art and the joy in performance, so their lives are rich, full of kindness and culture, and they take pride themselves and their accomplishments."
"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart...and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what I make?" "I make a difference."
"What do you make?"

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Lousy Day

Today is a lousy day...

firstly Carrie Underwood won the American Idol 4..... I think sexism is at play here....

secondly Liverpool won the uefa Champions League 2005..... I have nothing to say about that...

Give me a third and it would turned from a lousy day to a yucky day...

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I can see that George Bush agrees with me.....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Drastic act for a drastic situation --- The IJ HeartBeat

This is a personal appeal for all students, ex and future ( yah right) .. Sorry for the corny remarks but this is an appeal for the students who chanced on my blog and have been getting their daily dosage of fun, sarcasm and of course entertainment to help out.

The school is organising a performance at the Kallang Theatre called the IJ HeartBeat TOMORROW... (meaning 26 May 2005) showcasing all our SYF performances.

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The reason why I am appealling to all is because as of today, from what I have heard, we have approximately 400 unsold tickets and that means on the average the school is actually making a loss of about 5000 dollars. Not that it is a BIG sum but I shuddered at what we are going to do to recoup this... ie more fundraising and more fundraising and more chocomania and argh...

On top of that the teachers in charge of sales of tickets are perhaps going through mini panic attacks and witnessing unchartable stress levels which can only be relieved with the number of tickets sold...

PLEASE HELP! GIRLS! Get your mommy and daddy and your boy-boy, your doggie and everybody to watch it. For those who see this, please sms to other to watch it. Tickets are available through phone sales and of course at the door.

And a big Thank You in advance!
(If people, anybody ask you how you get to know from this, it would be appreciated if you quoted that MR NG had been trying to sell the tickets through his blog... not that I am trying to take any credit, but I am trying to see how much sales I can push from the blog before I sell it to Google... :P)

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


By the time most of the girls read the post, your fate had been almost if not indefinitely sealed. Forget about the long overnight girly movie marathons, forget about the bunk in some I don't know you don't know anywhere chalets, and yes kiss good bye to that favourite Mango crop top or the Top Shop demin skirt.

If you still don't know what i am talking about, oblivously blissful, congrats, you are really going to "si de heng nan kan" (or loosely translated to "die until very ugly") The results are out and the signs are not good. Students are not doing well, especially the sec 4s. Humanities in particular, Social studies especially. Notwithstanding, the issue about dropping standards, and the possible angry parents' complaints going straight up to the big boss' inbox, it is really a stressful period for teachers, and students alike. A teacher commented in her usually angmoh very accurate and very slang accent, after looking her students results, "in my 20 years as a form teacher, I have ever seen such horrible results, yes all these while in the weaker classes, there is always a couple of students who passed only one or two, but never have I see so many in one class". And that my girls, is the true reality of the results.

And for the record, I am not criticising all of you, I know some of you are working really hard, and are really stress up with the American Idol results. At this point of time I can see 4 types of students coming up

  1. "A" sai ones - these are the capable ones where the results are ok. They followed what is happening in the curriculum and have absolutely no problems except for raising their hands to get more paperduring the exams and bringing more than 2 calculators to the exam hall. They are also the one who can give a detailed report about where they could possibly go wrong with the extra paper they had asked during the duration of the paper itself
  2. "B"uay sai ones- not that capable but stll trying. Results not bad except can mix up reduction with oxidation, "thigh" and "tie" and "differentiation" with "integration". Basically need the time and effort to consoldiate what they have learnt in. Quite Ok lah, still on the right track
  3. "C"ah na sai ones - seriously very weak but still can be saved.. if put in extra extra extra hard work then can progress to the 2nd category, but as I say need hard work
  4. "D"ua lou sai ones - these are clearly the ones which make the teachers high on fever and constant vomit. These are students who are constantly getting F9 and taking them like badges of honour. It is going to be very very tough

So where are you now?

I know that there are many of you who are concerned about your grades especially when your grades don't seems to consumerate with your efforts. Alot of you are also facing stress from parents regarding the results. Let me illustrate why it is so frustrating through this picture

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As you can see, it will be a little bit difficult to try to get what you want but until you try to work hard first, things will be smoother on the way.

And by the way, if your parents are not invited to the Parent Teachers dialogue, congrats you are in the A and B category. Give yourself a pat on the back with your deformed hand. With regards to the PT dialogue, it seems like a sit still amazing race, all pariticpant ( read teachers) are given 15 minutes to tell the parents the progress of the students. The nature of the conversation will usually go something like this

T- Teacher, P- Parent

T: Hi, you are..... ( search database in brain for a looklike in daughter), oh yes Mr and Mrs so and so. Thank you for coming. This is your daughter's result. (whipped out report book.. pauses for 31 sseconds)

T: Uh huh.. Mr and Mrs so-and-so, as you can see, X( insert name) did not do very well in the exams ( loosely translated: your daughter screwed up the exams). I was wondering what we can do to help her ( loosely translated: what are you as parents going to do about it?)

P: Hm... (pauses for 3 seconds) Mr/Mrs/Ms/ X (delete whichever not appropriate) how is my daughter in class?

T: Hm.. she is inattentive/lazy/don't hand up work/anythingunflattering. She really need to pull up her socks.

(the next 5 minutes or so will be on strategies, I should not bored you with that)

T: Thank You....

Anyway you get the point. What really pissed me off is that there are some parents who sit down in front of the teachers and asked US what we are going to do about it. Cuse me, We are teachers-cum-babysitters. We see your daughter in her awaken state more than you. Driving her up the slope to school every morning with a peck beofre she goes to school doesn't quantify you to literally throw your weight around. Let's do the maths, you got 1 daughter at the most two or even three or at the most four children to look after. We as teachers worried ourselves with at least 40. Sometimes it really scared me how some parent can be so aloof. If they can just look after their ONE kid, don't you think it will be easier for us who needs to look after 40 or even more. There are some who need more help, we tried to be imparital but there are just some who deserves and need more than some of you and we as teachers have only 24 hours to spare, if we don't even count our own family into it.

There are also some parents who insist we do something about it, pushng ALL the responsibilites to the teachers. Let me state this once and for all... teachers are here to help you get that ideal daughter of yours, we can't create miracles! You want miracles, ask God for it. And then at the end of the day, you get a daughter to look after you for the rest of your retirement age and we get a small thank you card during teacher day. Please get the freaking priorities right.

But then again in case some of you think that it is a parent bashing session, there are some of you who simply don't understand how much your parents love you. They don't show it in the usual hugs and kisses, and they seem to reprimand you for everything you do.. but they meant well, some of them just used the wrong way to express them. You should count yourself lucky to have parents who love you so much and want the best for you... even though it is at the xpense of the teachers.....

Anyway to end this grudge filled post, I should reproduce the response I gave to a parent today. If your mom and dad are upset over not been given the coverted green form, let them know what we feel. (PS I don't speak on behalf of the teachers, but i guess I can use mine as an example)

The Letter

Dear XXX

Thank You for your email dated 24 May 2005.

One of the reasons why your daughter, YYY failed the essay component for SS Examinations was because she misread the question and failed to answer the question properly. I agree that it would be a good lesson for her as she will be more careful in the O Level examinations, where it matters most. In terms of level of competence, she is capable of doing well but needs to start consoldiating what she had learnt for the past 1 and a half years.

One good thing about YYY is that she tries and I can understand your concerns when she had not achieved her expected grades. On the other hand, there is improvement in her results; it is just that at this point of time, good results are not shown as she is still in the process of reinforcing her foundations and learning new things. Her grade had improved from a poor E8 (44%) to a B4, a jump of 4 grades and that in a matter of 5 months. This is, a good improvement and a clear reflection again that her hard work is paying off.The reason why ALL the teachers teaching YYY is not seeing her parents is because the general consensus is that she is clearly doing the right thing and if she continues, she will get the grade she so desired. The PT dialogue is meant to be a feedback for the parents and also a chance for the teachers to speak to parents about correcting certain strategies which did not seems to work on the child. Thus it would be better for the teachers to work with parents which children are clearly not on the right track.

YYY has been an extremely sensible girl and it is a joy to have her in class. She is a proactive learner and keen to learn from her mistakes. I can see that she is also very stressed due to the examinations and this may have affected her performance. In conclusion, this is a period of time where YYY is "digesting" what had been taught and to slowly consoldiate what she had learnt. It is expected that she will find it a little tough at this point of time especially with new materials taught and constantly trying to make sense of the previous topics. I would urge patience and encouragement on the part of the teachers and the parents as she is clearly on the right track.

If you would like to talk to any of the teachers, please feel free to call me in the office or to contact me via email.

And that's is my long awaited 2 cents worth

(Anyway I received some bad news - my scholarship application had been rejected and that means that I will have to stay around in Singapore for the time being... Talk about yucky things)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

40 reasons why you should not publish your pictures on the net...

Really funny.. Check it out!! (Be Patient...)
Check this out

Yes the fever is here.....

Monday, May 16, 2005

a girl meets bossanova

In case you are thinking this is going to be a grumpy long post again, you are in for a pleasant surprise.

That's all folks...

Nah I am joking.


I have nothing really much to comment about the things that happens recently. The Philips Yeo A*star issue had gone out of hand and back in hand and showhand and now nothing to talk about... Issue closed... Which mean that i can now share something that I like.

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Just got this CD called "a girl meets bossanova" by a japanese girl Olivia. Got the album without hesitation when I heard it over the system at Bishan Junction 8 Sembawang Music Store. Love her soft, whispery and yet so girlish voice. In fact my car stereos has been playing this album for the past 3 days. Especially love her rendition of the song "Love Fool" which was a heavy metal love songs by the Cardigans. Her bossa nova rendition added a new dimension to the songs and I fell in love with it instantaneously. Another of my favourites is the song "Where is the love" about this person lamenting about her lost love. Pretty heart wrenching but giving a slightly uplifting beat. Really enjoyable.

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Tried to know a little bit more about the singer from the website but it was all written in japanese. Maybe someone who know Japanese can kindly translate it for me. If you have anything about her, can let me know?

Wanted to put a short demo of some of the songs but realise that by doing so it will be infringing on copyright. If you really want to listen and hear fror yourself, can kindly come and "borrow" it from me. But please don't be cheapskate and burn a copy ok. Support IP, Stop Piracy OK??

coming from someone who buy pirated VCDs and DVDs and using pirated software.. it really sound convincing...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

late nights coffee breaks

Writing has become a therapeutic thing for me, especially during this stressful period of time when teachers are expected to be factory workers and churned out stacks and stacks of marked examination scripts for the students. Not a pretty sight but teachers are always on the paper chase.

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Here I am marking at the NUH canteen on saturday when I was waiting for my wife to get some of her work done.

And of course marking everywhere...

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Marking on my bed.... sigh....

Anyway when I went for my coffee break, my loyal canine decided to help me out with some of the marking...

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what type of history answers are we looking for??

Anyway I was quite relieved to be able to finish ALL my marking (*APPLAUSE) today and to make it even better, I have decided to put in some of the really ridiculous answers I got from the students. For the non history initiated , I have not forgotten about you people, You can first read up on the second russian revolution before looking at the great answers with good ingrish..

~~Classic answers~~

Trotsky whipped the inexperienced and tapped the expertise of ex army soldiers

(So Trotsky is now Lord of the Dance and also involved in BDSM activities... kinky...)

The provisional government were seen as weak and worst of all seen as the leaders who flavoured the Tsar.
(Chocolate or vanilla, rum and raisin?)

The Bolsheviks led by Lenin, formed an attractive and simple "Peace, Bread and Land" slogan. This captured the essence of the people's aims in a government. This turned tides
(Moses split the Red Sea and Lenin turned tides.....)

Lenin was also very influential, he was able to talk and win support from the peasants.
(Talking- isn't that the trait of a politican??)

Trotsky was able to get man to build up the Red Army
(The women don't get it...sexist)

The Bolsheviks also have propaganda methods as they owned "Prada"
(When did this capitalistic brand got associated with communism? What about Armani and Guess??)

The peasants found the ideology of communism to be very appealing. Though they did not understand communism...

The soldiers saw that this offer Lenin gave was promising and then you have it, Bolsheviks won the support of the majority and was ready for anything.
(David Blaine in action...)

They had the power. They had the support, they did not need anything
(Sound like a Starhub commerical)

Lenin also promised that they would all have to worry about the things that they had to worry with (sic) the provisional government. Things like food and other basic necessities would be abundant.
(Lenin can really conjure things from nowhere...)

Ah.. too much caffeine need a break...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A post

Remember the last time I ask for students, present or ex to write about how they feel about the teachers, like me. One brave soul attempted, and I am brave enough to put it here on my blog....

Mr ng. the first thing i am reminded of you will be of your pronunciation of the word [question]. somehow i always hear it as [quet-chen]
okay i confess i often mimick you in class."GIRLS DO YOU HAVE ANY QUET-CHENS??"
aha sorry. i seek forgiveness. lol.more importantly, (it seems so with everyone too) you are extremely funny and always somehow able to lighten the class mood by telling us jokes. nevermind if some of them are lame, we appreciate your effort to make things more interesting. ahaha. (ALBERT) hahahahahhaha.
and of course! your ever-so-popular blog. it is listed as one of the-must-read-things-when-you-go-online. [oh please continue blogging... sometimes its really hard for us student to see why teachers act in a certain way... so please do continue to blog... and i'll be on my way to enlightenment.]
hahahaand yes i'll remember you for the teacher who insist students to greet you, though... er not too enthusiastically like me.lol. and i appreciate the fact that you still remember my name or me for that matter, and occasionally stop by to ask hows everything going...p.s. your watch is nice.but all in all,i think you are a pretty cool teacher. keep it up!!!!

nice.... :)
I can feel it eating into my ego........

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Band Jam

As I tried to do some constructive work like marking and marking, I find myself digressing into weird stuff. I accidently stumble into a website which gave really weird band names. And mind you these bands existed!! And you thought that 5566, or Twins or FIR are weird. Anyway for the benefit of those who simply find this blog too irresistable or are simply too lazy to navigate away from this blog, this is just a gist of some really "anal-repulsive" "cute" band names

  • Accidental Goat Sodomy
  • A Cat Born in an Oven isn't a Cake
  • The Albino Toilet Boys
  • Anal Genocide
  • Ancient Chinese Penis ( LOL I LIKE THIS ONE )
  • The Archbishop's Enema Fetish
  • Baby Shit Brown
  • Big Fat Pet Clams From Outer Space
  • Bleeding Rectum
  • Betty's Not a Vitamin
  • Clitoris That Thought It Was a Puppy
  • Crosseyed Chicken
  • Daddy's Got the Biggest
  • Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles
  • The Dead Bodyguards of Abraham Lincoln
  • Hitler Stole My Potato (Definitely a History Fanatic)
  • HIV and the Positives
  • I Love My Shih-Tzu
  • James, What Are We Gonna Call Our Band? ( strictly for the uncreative haha )
  • Menstrual Gravy ( wth ?! )
  • Nearly Died Laughing While Shaving My Butt
  • Orgy With PigsPainful Discharge
  • Psychic Buddist Gorillas
  • Soothing Sounds For Baby
  • They Tried To Frame OJ ( Haha a wise crack to OJ Simpson )
  • This is Serious , Mom
  • To Live and Shave in LA
  • Touch Me Again and I'll Break Your Arms
  • Van Gogh's Ear ( LOL !! For the clueluess , Van Gogh's an artist who cut off his own ear )
  • The Vibrators

I just cannot imagine any of these bands as the opening act of top bands like Oasis or even Limp Bizkit or even Linkin Park. It sound so crude...

Being the always ingenious one, I decided to use my creativity to come up with some more local flavoured names which can be used for maybe Singapore Idol 2 Band Performance

  • I propose in an LT
  • Lee Kuan Yew and His Motley Crew
  • Nathan Goes Jalan
  • SM goes MM
  • A Car and its COE
  • The Mama-Shop boys
  • The Tampenis Rapist
  • Garfield and The Sterilised Neighbourhood Cats
  • Preservated Anal Poo ( also known as the PAP )
  • 3G and a Phone
  • Changi and the Bootylicious Ah Kuas
  • John Culler and the Crows
  • The Holy Caucasians
  • The Taxi Midnight surcharge
  • The Bangala Who Looked At Me
  • Lousy Rusty Trains ( also known as the LRT )
  • The Expensive Kachang Puteh
  • Talking Cocks
  • Legs wide open Convent Girls
  • Gahmen and the Bondbreakers
  • The JooChiat Cheekopeks
  • The Study-Mama who Gave me a Massage
  • Jacintha Abishnagan and The Unprounciables
  • I Gave her Money , She Gave me AIDS
  • I do you do, I queue You Queue
  • The Far East Plaza Wannabes
  • Road Rage Menace
  • The Summons from Aunty Fatimah
  • The Milo Champs
  • The Ah Soh Who wore a Bikini
  • Lians and Bengs

How is that for innovation??

Buah Song Got a Question??

Inspired by a blog which used song names. I decided to do one myself. More of a matter-of-factly Q and A

"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?" by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn't. The bus will go round Toa Payoh new town passing by CHIJ Secondary near Philips before ending at Toa Payoh bus interchange. And for your information, Bruce, we don't name our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people, Singapore or foreign.

"Do You Know Where You're Going To?" by Diana Ross
Going to Toa Payoh Central to get the Old Chang Kee currypuffs. Needed a break after all the marking. By the way where are you heading to?

The Reason by Hoobstank
Ok this song is not in the form of a question but I just decided to use it anyway. Serious there are not just one reason why things do happen in certain ways. As I always say whatever happens happens for a reason. And some reasons are more important than others and usually we weigh them based on the T-R-I method... Whatever...

"Can't You Hear My Heartbeat?" by Herman's Hermits
I guess so, it is pumping really hard, I wonder why? Anyway, if not I will be really terrified. How can a dead person talk? Stupid question.

"How Do You Do It?" by Gerry and The Pacemakers
We are treading into M-18 territory here. On my wicked sense of humour... well have you been reading my blog? Obviously not...

"Don't You Care?" by The Buckinghams
See blog title. Got it??

"Do You Sleep?" by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
In the case of the Singapore weather, yes. Rained the whole afternoon. Well I haven't seen snow lately...

"Did You See Her Eyes?" by Illusion
Yah you mean those two beady things which look like little discoloured raisins, Yah yes

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid
Christmas? Still a couple of months later. Vesak Day is coming soon

"Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" by Lonnie Donegan
You'll have to ask our Minister Mentor. Actually I take back what I say, it should be our Senior Minister, he was the one who started the ban.

"How Deep Is Your Love?" by The Bee Gees
I'm not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

"How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

"Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. Goodness me!! What do you expect with a weather like ours?

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

"What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says 'Meow'?" by Margaret Young
Technically you have to be specific. Is it a 'high' meow or a 'low' meow. If it is a 'high' meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a 'low' meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between 'high' and 'low', this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

"Who Killed Bambi?" by The Sex Pistols
I let you know this secret, it's Gopal from Muthu's Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don't worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

"Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can't find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It's too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you'll just gross out the jury. And please spare me the pyjama-sy pyjam-ies

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
Not really. I'm pretty occupied most nights. This is especially true when I got to finish the tons of marking which had to be done in record time. Trust me the History elective is a helluva difficult paper to mark. I also got to feed myself, my wife and my dog, surf the net and also have the duty to entertain my blog “addicts” by putting up new posts. As you can see, I'm a pretty happening chap.

"What Are You Doing Sunday?" by Tony Orlando
Go Church? Nah I am joking. Chiong Geylang? No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book And maybe write something.

"Doesn't Anybody Love Me?" by The McGuire Sisters
Isn't it sad, don't worry if you are not loved. Remember God love you. And by the way if you are a little boy, Michael loves you too.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

"Julie Do You Love Me?" by Bobby Sherman
Please read previous question and answer and by the way I am not Julie

"Where's The Playground, Susie?" by Glen Campbell
How old are you, 6?

Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice
I'm not your Daddy, but I'm gonna to answer your question. To do it in the most unscientific and non-biologically manner - You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy's body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective - I mean the living... anyway who am I kidding of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy's tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? .. No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock. Simple??

"Where Did It All Go Wrong?" by Oasis
It all started with that unspectacular and unsatisfying night... Opps this is not supposed to be a follow up of the previous question. Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That's when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

"What's Up?" by4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business, typing my blog before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn't she what? What sort of a question is that? Maybe it is a typo the question should have been why didn't Rose Mary.... hm.. still make no sense...

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" by Rod Steward
Don't bother. I'm not interested.

"Can I Touch You There?" by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I'll said it again. Every part of me are meant for me wife to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Gary Glitter
No, I'm not going to touch you either, you freak.

"Do You Love Me?" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Who ... u talking to me??

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by Elton John
. . . . .

"Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann
That does it. I'm getting my crowbar. I am not interested in entertaining a freak like you and I should do something more productive like marking... SIGH!!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

You know you are addicted to blogging when

  1. You keep checking every 15 mins to your blog to see if anyone post you any comment for you to reply to it.
  2. You get jealous of people who have more traffic than you do when you feel that their blog absolutely sucks.
  3. You subconsciously wrote down Blogger, when filling in your address.
  4. When you write finish a post and blogger screws up, you freak out. You pull your hair and contemplate killing all the staff at blogger.com.
  5. You are sleeping, you suddenly think of some witty post to blog about.
  6. You get damn f***ing excited when someone links you at their blog. Even more so when that someone is popular.
  7. When outside, you suddenly think of a smart and witty comment to someone’s post which you read a few hours/days ago.
  8. You justify to friends who ask you why you blog by saying that you are not ranting about your everyday life but writing about witty and funny events in the format of a journal.
  9. You spend most of your time online surfing around just to find inspiration to blog when you be studying or writing your damn report.
  10. You have more people in the blogging community than actual real friends.
  11. You actually attended some sort of blogging convention.
  12. You actually try to make such a stupid list like this.
  13. After everytime you said something wrongly, you try and look for the ‘edit post’ button.
  14. You would try to make a mental note of anything that is interesting so that you can blog about it later.
  15. You hunt down anyone who posts a mean comment.The first thing you do online is to check your blog for any comments before you start to check your own email.
  16. You are guilty of commenting excessively on more popular blogs just for the sake of increasing your site traffic.
  17. When you see that your friend is having some very wrong dress sense, you advise him to change his ‘template’
  18. You have actually been on the news or any media reports regarding your blog.
  19. You actually went to Sim Lim Square to see if they got sell an electronic counter to track your human traffic or not.
  20. Even after a truly screwed up day, you comfort yourself by saying "well. At least it would make a good post.
  21. And you are actually bo liao enough to finish reading this list. And enjoy it while passing it to the rest of the people who are addicted to blogging.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Dog Tale 2

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Farce Words

I have learnt things in the hard way. Especially when the freaking computer keep blinking the messages “incorrect password” or “account not found” or even “account locked, please contact administrator” stuff of crap. I have come up with this maxim:

Either you use the same password for everything or you’re totally arse-up!
For some masochistic reasons, with the ingenious keyboard loggers and many ingenious ways of trying to get your passwords, I have been having a hard time trying to remember what I use for certain applications after say a week. It doesn’t help that with the need of pretence for higher security, there is also the need to come up with strange type of passwords such as ones with mixtures of small letters, capital letters and numbers. Well, sad to say, all these are sometimes beyond my tiny brain to remember.
Sometimes for some sickening reasons, or when the computer or the servers is having her PMSes, typing the same passwords just failed to communicate to her. (Incorrect foreplay try again) there are also times when you are just so overwhelmed by passwords that when a new initiative from the government came about with a new programme and another password, everyone will be like "oh no, not again". I had a colleague who religiously kept all her scrap of paper in a ziplock bag with all the memo and letter of the passwords. She have not changed some of them for years and of course some of them are in incoherent letters and numbers of the formwhich only Dan Brown can cipher.
As a history graduate, I have not been able to make sense of the many passwords that I had to use for the countless applications. Let me count thee:
School cockpit – a internal program for teachers to update students particulars and student absentees and to make a semblance of a teaching work plan on the net
IES – to register for the exams
Pac@Gov – an internet site to check your pay, to see if the gahmen is underpaying you and of
course to claim for the dentures made
Edumail – email for teachers which allow overconcerned parents to register their concern on the cyberway and of course for unexpected “arrows” of work and responsibilities
Vital – an online study system for the teachers/civil servant. “Grow Old, Study Old”…. Yah..
Traisi – to record the 100 hours worth of training for the year – whether it is the computer course or the yoga/pilate stress management stuff that teacher should be compelled to attend
School network – to access the school intranet and of course personel folder where teachers will discreetly leave their exams papers and marking scheme for any it savvy hackers to tap and sell to the students
Other than all this so called official programme which require passwords, the bank required passwords for internet banking, online shopping stores required you to register with them so as to open an account, Email service providers, and other webbased providers also required account to be set up in order to use their facilities. I guess I have about easily 20 passwords to remember on top of things like remembering to buy 4D and feed the dog on my short term memory.
I admit that I am sometimes a boring person and I can't think of ingenious things to use for my passwords. Things like my birthday, my dog birthday, my wife's birthday, my wedding anniversary, my ic number had been used and reused over and over again, the very things which the people advised me not to. But I really have no choice, i can't think of any thing
A friend suggested that since I read so much, maybe I can just used a sentence perhap from a person and add in number to replace it. for example, "Lenin's Peace Bread and Land in the Russian Revolution 1917" from Russian History. So the password can be LPBLRR1917 or to make it even more difficult to guess, change the B with the corresponding number A=1, B=2 etc. so the password become like LP2LRR1917.
Another way would be to chose a word such as "together2005" and change it to "glbdgndf2pp5". Can you guess how to get this?
If you share my sentiments, and perhaps laugh at my efforts of remembering all these passwords, some of you might even suggested using just 1 password for all. What’s the problem? It seems like a feasible suggestion but I can already think of possible repercussions

1) If my password is stolen, I will have to start changing all or some. Which of course defeat the purpose of having a uniform password. The danger is that I will also lost valuable information or things before I even know it
2) There is also the stupid 90 days change password thingy which also mean that I got to change ALL the passwords after 90 days. This is such a tedious process and why change some of those when it is only some which prompt you to change it?

So, without resorting to scraps of paper, I have ingeniously thought of a good way to try to remember ALL my passwords and I would like to share it with all of you. I hav actually typed out all my password on a somewhat cryptically hidden file on my computer cunningly called “important.doc”. And of course I had locked it using yet another password. Which means that as long as I remember where the file is and what is the password to the file, I am somewhat safe.

Anyone with a better suggestion?

Sunday, May 01, 2005

All the help you need for examinations

It has been irritating that this long weekend has been nothing but food, fun and of course more fun...For those students who are hoping that I will give some hints to help you people pass the exams, well let just say that I am in an extremely good mood. Now that I am enjoying myself while the rest of my students are slogging for the examinations. You people are so in luck.. sometimes I do reward people who frequent my blog especially my students

But don't worry, help is on the way. I understand all of you need all the divine help that you need so here is it......

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Don't thank me.. Study hard, use the examulet provided and you people should be on your ways to As..

I think I am a wonderful teacher.........
Dog Tale

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