Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Buah Song Got a Question??

Inspired by a blog which used song names. I decided to do one myself. More of a matter-of-factly Q and A

"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?" by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn't. The bus will go round Toa Payoh new town passing by CHIJ Secondary near Philips before ending at Toa Payoh bus interchange. And for your information, Bruce, we don't name our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people, Singapore or foreign.

"Do You Know Where You're Going To?" by Diana Ross
Going to Toa Payoh Central to get the Old Chang Kee currypuffs. Needed a break after all the marking. By the way where are you heading to?

The Reason by Hoobstank
Ok this song is not in the form of a question but I just decided to use it anyway. Serious there are not just one reason why things do happen in certain ways. As I always say whatever happens happens for a reason. And some reasons are more important than others and usually we weigh them based on the T-R-I method... Whatever...

"Can't You Hear My Heartbeat?" by Herman's Hermits
I guess so, it is pumping really hard, I wonder why? Anyway, if not I will be really terrified. How can a dead person talk? Stupid question.

"How Do You Do It?" by Gerry and The Pacemakers
We are treading into M-18 territory here. On my wicked sense of humour... well have you been reading my blog? Obviously not...

"Don't You Care?" by The Buckinghams
See blog title. Got it??

"Do You Sleep?" by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
In the case of the Singapore weather, yes. Rained the whole afternoon. Well I haven't seen snow lately...

"Did You See Her Eyes?" by Illusion
Yah you mean those two beady things which look like little discoloured raisins, Yah yes

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid
Christmas? Still a couple of months later. Vesak Day is coming soon

"Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" by Lonnie Donegan
You'll have to ask our Minister Mentor. Actually I take back what I say, it should be our Senior Minister, he was the one who started the ban.

"How Deep Is Your Love?" by The Bee Gees
I'm not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

"How Do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

"Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. Goodness me!! What do you expect with a weather like ours?

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

"What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says 'Meow'?" by Margaret Young
Technically you have to be specific. Is it a 'high' meow or a 'low' meow. If it is a 'high' meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a 'low' meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between 'high' and 'low', this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

"Who Killed Bambi?" by The Sex Pistols
I let you know this secret, it's Gopal from Muthu's Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don't worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

"Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can't find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It's too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you'll just gross out the jury. And please spare me the pyjama-sy pyjam-ies

"Are You Lonesome Tonight?" by Elvis Presley
Not really. I'm pretty occupied most nights. This is especially true when I got to finish the tons of marking which had to be done in record time. Trust me the History elective is a helluva difficult paper to mark. I also got to feed myself, my wife and my dog, surf the net and also have the duty to entertain my blog “addicts” by putting up new posts. As you can see, I'm a pretty happening chap.

"What Are You Doing Sunday?" by Tony Orlando
Go Church? Nah I am joking. Chiong Geylang? No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book And maybe write something.

"Doesn't Anybody Love Me?" by The McGuire Sisters
Isn't it sad, don't worry if you are not loved. Remember God love you. And by the way if you are a little boy, Michael loves you too.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

"Julie Do You Love Me?" by Bobby Sherman
Please read previous question and answer and by the way I am not Julie

"Where's The Playground, Susie?" by Glen Campbell
How old are you, 6?

Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice
I'm not your Daddy, but I'm gonna to answer your question. To do it in the most unscientific and non-biologically manner - You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy's body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective - I mean the living... anyway who am I kidding of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy's tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? .. No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock. Simple??

"Where Did It All Go Wrong?" by Oasis
It all started with that unspectacular and unsatisfying night... Opps this is not supposed to be a follow up of the previous question. Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That's when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

"What's Up?" by4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business, typing my blog before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn't she what? What sort of a question is that? Maybe it is a typo the question should have been why didn't Rose Mary.... hm.. still make no sense...

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" by Rod Steward
Don't bother. I'm not interested.

"Can I Touch You There?" by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I'll said it again. Every part of me are meant for me wife to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me" by Gary Glitter
No, I'm not going to touch you either, you freak.

"Do You Love Me?" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Who ... u talking to me??

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" by Elton John
. . . . .

"Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann
That does it. I'm getting my crowbar. I am not interested in entertaining a freak like you and I should do something more productive like marking... SIGH!!

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