Saturday, July 31, 2004

Fragmented Thoughts

Today is Honours Day. Nothing to do with me as usual. Woke up on a regular time at 6 and got there at HDB Hub at around 7 to meet all the prize winners. I am in charge of the 2003 prize winners. Great, getting to see all my ex-girls. McDonalds Breakfast, a big one, down with a cup of lipton tea, 2 and a half packets of sugar. The caffeine did got me out of my slumber. What a way to start the day.

An ex girl came to me and chitchatted with me while we are waiting at the holding room beside the auditorium. "How are you, Mr Ng... How are your classes this year? Are they as good as we?" I smiled, eyes darting from one point to another. Well my eyes betrayed my intentions. "They are fine, just different in their own way" She smiled too.

Saw the crowd dwindled after the Honour Day celebrations. Ms Tan left, the rest of the teachers got on with their weekends, CIPs, boyfriends, girlfriends, families etc. Stayed back till 1 to oversee the moving of the art pieces back to school. Was back in school till around 2 plus. Went out for late lunch with Mrs J Chu, Ms Yap and Mr Chan. Great time chatting , had chickent rice.

It is end of Saturday. Waiting for the AC Milan against Manchester United game at 12.55am. Didn't talk , feel shitty.

Stay Positive! I'm trying. What's wrong?

Friday, July 30, 2004

Of grates and ingrates
It seems years ago that I have blogged.  Nothing really spectucular or bitchy to say, maybe I am just too desensitised to do anything.  Still trying to get my school life back after the so-many disruptions and distractions in class, the National Track and Field Competitions, the Honours Day Celebrations etc etc
I noticed that I will always be "down" (pessimistic, grouchy, moody and most importantly mismatching) during this part of a year.  My mood seems to be going on a roller coaster, on its way down.  August and September are bad times for me.  Maybe just like girls with PMS, I have mine too although it comes in a yearly form and last for a couple of months.  Innocent girls had faced my wrath this week and I can assure you that it is just an indication of my patience waning off.  If I have been telling you people things that are mean or that I have raised my voice and gesticulated in a barbaric fashion, I guess it is just my suppressed unhappiness at play.  But then again, I have been just too nice at times almost to the point of indulgence and some of you are apparently taking advantage. 
"Gratitude" is a word that I advocated and live by, and I want my girls to know that.  Which means that uncalled for treatment to teachers especially from my form class gave me a sense of deja vu.  It was just like 4/3 2004 over again.  The class was a nice class but sometimes like an over protective father, I tend to overlook some of the flaws.  But the other teachers disliked the class for their attitude and cockiness.  "INGRATES" a words ingrained with the class as they leave.  Somthing I feel responsible for, something I felt so inadequate to resolve.  But starting with 3/4 I am absolutely sure this is not the path I want the 3/4 girls to go.  And I want "gratitude" to be the mantra of this class.  Not that I am enforcing or forcing it on them, butiIf they can't even learnt that, I think I have failed as a teacher.  And looking at some of the comments on the tagboard of the class blog, maybe I have failed in changing the mindset of some of them.


Friday, July 23, 2004

Random Thoughts

With my new found friend from the Track and Field Meet, we went to Leng Kee for another round of car hunting.  Sigh.. Prices of car are getting cheaper and cheaper and I am having a greater and greater desire to get one.  Being a good man and saving for it so far, hope to be able to get the ten percent deposit soon.  My wife prefer the metallic blue colour and I should respect her wish.  I choose the car and she choose the colour.  Fair huh?  Then again I will be able to chauffeur her from one place to another once I have the car.  Talk about conveniences.
I managed to finish the book by Dan Brown yesterday nite and has started on the next "Angels and Demons"  so far 40 odd pages through and the story is pretty ok.. Let hope it will not fall flat like the ending of the Da Vinci Code.


Thursday, July 22, 2004

Pissed Off (Part 2)

Went out for a later lunch - not really lunch more like a high tea with two colleagues.  Felt better after food in the tummy.  As for the issue of being wrongly accused.  Maybe we just have to look things from another angle or even no angle at all.  Simply bochup might be the best way to evade all those sickening problems.  But then again these few days some people around me are really getting on my nerves with their unreasonable tantrums.  Sigh!!  Would be just assuming that it is again the "time of the month".  In fact having to look at this issue now, I feel that some of the colleagues are really abit uptight when we talked about things happening in school.  It is not as though we are revealing alot of intimate details just some trival stuff to get the girls interested in the lessons, to break the monotony of things.  But then again I realise some teachers just lost the zest and the spirit to see things in the positive light.  I would be fine if I was used as an example if no harm is done.  I seriously wondered why are they so Like Dat??  Maybe if they let things go a little, life might just be alittle bit happy.

Just glad that I need not have to be in school tomorrow.  Will be getting a well deserved tan at the Choa Chu Kang Stadium.  Watching "I Robot" tomorrow.  Will try to post a review of the movie tomorrow night.

Pissed OFF!!

Cut the crap
But I am in a really pissed-off mood today. Dammit, I'm mad! ( Whether you read this from left to right or right to left...)

Started the day by going into a mentally and emotionally draining class.  I can't imagine myself going in for the next 3 months or so.  It is so upsetting to see that they are so disinterested and so problematic. Arghhhhh!! This is really sickening!

How will you feel to be misquoted and accused of something that you DIDN'T do?  And the best part is that your colleague would rather believe what the students say rather than what her colleague say.  This means 2 things.

1) my credibility or the lack of it....
2) the girls cannot be trusted to keep secret.



Wednesday, July 21, 2004

SNAGs- a glorified term or does it mean more than that ?
(First appeared in my website... found this quite interesting... thus decided to revamp it and put it in my blog...)
This is an issue that I believe, had been on the minds of many Singaporean men: "What's wrong with us?"

Seriously, my answer to that is a simple twist to the question. Instead of asking the question above, we should ask "What's wrong with the Singaporean women of today?"

Before all the overly driven feminists cringed and bared their teeth over yet another chauvinistic attempt of a particular Mr. Wong wannabe to further demean and discredit the woman graduate population, let me explain my stand.

Some women commented about the glass ceiling that their workplace have for capable women.  Well for the information, we are not holding it back ( no sexual connotations here) but to call a spade a spade, women nowaday are still a discriminated lot.  You are not required to serve the nation with 2 and a half years of your life and of course be there for the country 24/7 for the next 13-20 years of your life, even though many of you are dying to do so.  You would never have to face the ignominity of being called a freeloader when you don't work.  You can shout "rape" "molest" or anything reeking of "sexual discrimination" without even batting an eyelid.  You can get things done your way, with a raising of the hemlines, a lowering of the bustlines and the occassional tantrum throwing.  These are things that men can't and so what is a little of the glass ceiling about.  I admit that there are many women which are far capable than men but in a world striving to be equal, there is still a need to address this mindset issue.  Give up chivalry if you want equality.  Sometimes these two are just mutually exclusive. 

In a shocking turn of events, nowadays, men and women have simply faced a reversal of roles; men had been facing an identity and gender crisis; at this crossroads of the 21st century, men need to reevaluate their roles; it had been no surprise to hear men now wanting to settle down and start a family, whereas the women are asking for more time to consolidate their careers. This was totally unheard of 20 years back. Sometimes faced with parental and societal pressure, many women resist the idea of settling down, fully believe that singlehood is the right answer to their demands for freedom. Is this the problem of society or is it that our women are just too choosy. I read with great interest from a certain magazine that Caucasians are better lovers and even better on the bed as compared to the deadfish Singaporeans who cared too much about the stock exchanges and whose idea of romance and marriage and living together is to ask a girl to apply for a HDB flat. IS it that the Singaporean men are not SNAGish enough? But I digress.

Men are expected to be SNAGs, or what they referred to as New Age sensitive Men, Men who will reveal their softer and fragile side, be it the shedding of tears in the upteeteen screening of "Titanic", watch girly stuff, do girly things like talking and tlaking and sharing.... SNAGS are also men who enjoyed shopping, aimless shopping (YES not those target acquired, go buy, pay with credit card, and out of store in a jiffy) window shopping. Take it on the face value that you are the ultimate SNAG? why not look at it from another point of view?  Is the SNAG supposed to show the feminine side of men where women are fast losing it?  And in looking for the SNAG, are the women looking for someone with that something that women are fast losing or have lost it. 

I have friends who lament that women nowadays had lost the "F" factor.  No sexual connotations here, but the "F" I mean was "Feminism".  And to put my point across, a short visit to the Orchard and you will see androynous looking people with serious sexual crises.  In an incident a couple of years back, it was quite shocking to see one of my ex-students strutting down Orchard Road with her galfren.  Obviously she was shocked to see me but at that point of time what was on my mind was the determination to put up a non judging appearance although I was grappling deep in my heart whether I should condone this, especially now it happen to one of my former gals.  I am totally okay about it but the main crux is about is the feminine nature that is so far lacking. Or is it that Men's role had been slowly diminishing..

An unsettling thought tell me that one day just maybe one day, men may lose their role and become extinct in the face of these ever capable women counterparts.  Or will we see a regeneration of men's role comparable to that of the evolution of the apes. One day as the two grannies look at their granddaughters and tell them that they were conceived via frozen semen provided by a so called sperm guy.  That will be the time where Men will seriously have to look into their roles.

With that chilling thought in mind, are there any willing SNAGs out there?  
Harm-many Day
The Racial Harmony Day is fast becoming a farce.  Well kind of. Girls exposing midriffs in over sized saris, cutey mules, and the accessories that will make a cow blush with embarrassment.  All they need now is just a little makeup to complement the look.  But then again, after being deprived of the opportunity to dress like themselves during the Youth Day celebrations, the RHD is a elaborate fashion parade for the fashion conscious eager to stamp their fashion sense on the  bewildered school community.  While "bastardising" the culture and the ethnic costume was not one that I will advocated, but the ingenious creativity of the girls was impressive.  Who would expect to see an SIA girl among the ranks of the girls.  You have girls with mini cheongsams which apparently was handed over to them by their primary school sisters or friends.  In a wide array of colours, patterns, size and degrees of modesty, G Armani should have come to IJ for a scouting for the next model to parade his next collection.  While some of the models can pull it off with the different fashions, there are those which ( how should I put it in a non-humiliating way) really CMI with the attire, flabby legs, arms and tummies... Sigh! ( MY EYES!!!!)   
Today I truly understand how insensitive or desensitised the girls are especially in the presence of a male teacher.  In various stages of "undress" and "redress" (The saris were either too big or wrapped in a la-ketupat manner/ or in traditional chinese lingo like a rice dumpling)  I should spare the details but all I can say is that  they were totally oblivious about adjusting their attires in the presence of ME!  One unnamed girl from an unnamed class was changing her shorts in the class.  If I am on MC tomorrow, it must be a result of sore eyes!  But then again, the main issue is should I feel that the girls are too comfortable with me or  has the years in IJ having a toll on their awareness that I am a thorn among the roses.  *Shudders*  Should I say that this is the top compliment or greatest humiliation. 
Talking about marriages, the marriages between the four members of staff during assembly was a blast!  It was entertaining and most importantly so hilarious!!  Love truly was blind, but so were the pairings which was a total mismatch!  It was a great stress relief to a hectic Wednesday
Let face it, if everyday would be so funny, then can I have school everyday?? :P

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The Ghosts of the Future
Somebody... please "kill" me.....
I told myself again and again that I just have to finish reading those books especially the "Da Vinci Code".  And i have also started on a new book known as "The Tipping Point"... but alas, I was caught up with a new distraction.  There is this new set of Hong Kong Serials known as the Supernatural Detective Files, ten episodes and cost around $18.30 from TS Vision.  I was watching a short preview of it outside the store and was quite fascinated by the story.  I am never a fan of drama serials but then supernatural stuff always spoooked me.  I can be quite a scaredycat when it come to spooks and supernaturals.  I can never watch those Korean and Japanese supernatual ghost movies.  They totally freaked me out.  Guess this is a side of me that not many knows.  But then again... talking about the Hong Kong drama serials, I have only watched 2 episodes but so far it has been pretty captivating.  I am planning to watch it tonight and try to finish it together with the piles of marking I have. 
Tomorrow I will be spending the whole day at Choa Chu Kang Stadium.  Which means that I would not be in school tomorrow.  But rest assured as all responsible civil servants, I have prepared work to occupy the classes.  And just a general reminder, the add maths test will be on this friday .  Good luck!! 

Saturday, July 17, 2004

By the ways - left, right and centre
BTW 1 For the most observant of the sec 3 or 4 girls who see me lunging a laptop with cables and accessories to class everyday with fail, that was a laptop I bought with my first bonus in teaching four years ago.  How time flies!  As an old lady faced with the taunts and tortures of age, she was no longer as responsive as before, and most important it constant need a life support ( ie power supply) as the body lack the energy (battery supply)  Rushed down after the Track and Field Competition to the Acer Service Centre and Jurong East.  The serviceman recommended that it would be good to let it go peacefully when time come, no plastic surgery, artificial parts/ upgrade needed.  Felt so helpless when I can't do anything to help her.  Well might as well, start looking for a new laptop.  New things for old.  Luckily i am not so mercenary when I come to real people.
BTW 2 On my way back, I took the bus back.  It was those with the advanced features such as TV mobile.  I know some of you will really cringed when talking about that irritating box which really spoilt the tranquility of the bus ride, wehn we can watch the world fly past and smell the flowers.... :P It was like the most irritating until the SMRT upped it with that increasing annoying MRt screen which while showing the arrival time of the train, decideed to show some movie trailers.  Well Won Bin and Baey Yon Ju were ok, the irritating factor was really great when they show that wannabe movie "The Best Bet" when that horrible techno jingle keep playing after an interval of 30 secs. ( and you thought that Eminem "Without Me" that I have chosen was irritating...)  As I was sitting right at the back and  couldn't see the screen very clearly.  I could hear some of the soundtrack and so I decided to watch the people instead.  It was also interesting to watch passengers watching TV.   It sounded like a surgical procedure was taking place on screen. It was amusing to see the open mouths and then the grimaces of passengers. Then I wondered who decided what goes on the bus boob tubes. Would they ever consider showing "Speed"? How about an "informercial" on how to report errant bus drivers by calling 1-800-X-DRIVER? Why doesn't the Speak Good English Movement (SGEM) show examples of good spoken English  since people watch them are usually those who can afford to spend a couple minutes to learn a few new phrases and terms?
I bring up the last point as I was appalled by the descriptions of those friends of mine who commented on the way the flight stewardesses speak. That SGEM ad could feature two scenes...

Scene 1
A stewardess asks a male passenger "Can I helpchu?". A cabin door suddenly bursts open and she gets sucked out of the plane. As she exits, the stewardess curses in Hokkien but it trails off quickly. Punchline: Bad English Sucks Big Time.
Scene 2
The clone of that stewardess asks the same passenger "How may I help you?". This time the passenger morphs into Prince Charming and they mount Pegasus and ride/fly off into the sunset. Punchline: Good English Isn't Just For Fairy Tales.

Yeah, I know it's only a fantasy, but that's television... even if it is onboard a bus driven by someone having an epileptic fit induced by the lack of durians. 

BTW 3 Speaking of TV and durians, have you watched the latest comedy on local TV? It's called "Durian King"  It was one of those comedies that make me really sit up and watch.  Even the theme song was damn catchy something like 'durians durians... '.  It starred Adrian Pang who was a lawyer bankrupt by his bad investments.  Talk about "suay".  When was the last time you buy somethig and saw its prices came plunging down.  There was also Kym Ng who was a singer-pop star wannabe.  The ones that really got me laughing my head off was when Adrian Pang was dreaming of a "sex-capade" he had, where the girl was feeding him with whipped cream... and when he woke up he saaw something whitish on his mouth, the pigeon had decided to use his mouth as a makeshift toilet bowl!  He went looking for  water and started washing his face and mouth with a pail he saw and to his horror that was actually a pail containing Kym's undies.  The best was when Kym stared at him and said "You played with my underwear" and Adrian replied it was a mistake and he was just washing his face with it.  Talk about punchlines!!  There was also the "seow" ah beng who went around stalking Adrian Pang and said  "this is my terri tori". Damn funny...   The chemistry was great and I believe that Channel I would have found a new legion of fans waiting for the next episode.
BTW 4  Have you read something on the Singapore Idol?  Seems like it is fast becoming a farce.  There was a comment made by the judges that they have already an idea who is going to be the top three and that speak so damn well of our pool of talents we have.  Most of them are karaoke or bathroom singers.  There was also this speedo guy who strip to his trunks while singing.  That also prove my next point that only really stupid people would appear on television?  And when I say that, I dont' necessary mean the competitiors but sometimes the parents of the kids in the Singapore Brainest Kids (Answer: I guess that's the only way they hope to make money. The rest of us slug away in the rat race.)   There should be another rating to join the ranks of G, PG, N-16 and R(A). It is S for Stoopid, so stupid that it isn't even spelled correctly!
But then again, if you have anything burning to say or comment your stoopid comments are most welcome.. 

Friday, July 16, 2004

Deadlines and Punchlines
I got to finish the book by Dan Brown "the Da Vinci Code" by this weekend.  It is not that the book is not interesting enough, but I am just too tired at times to finish reading it.  As for my peculiar reading habits, I have books almost every possible area, the coofee table at home, by the bed, beside the computer table, in my bag, in my other bag and yes in the toilet ( which account for the "savoury" feel of the book at times"  Currently I am reading the following books in different places and different times: John C Maxwell "Developing the Leader within You", Dan Brown " The Da Vinci Code" and John Grisham "The King of Torts".  A friend once commented on the way I multitask, and how I would not be able to capture the mood of the story if I stopped at times, and worse, readintg 2 or 3 books at the same time.  Well i always beleiev that if I can have the opportunity to read all the same time, all the better, and of course this is a reading habit that I can't change.
Talking about reading habits, I must really start watching those DVDs I have bought over the past few weeks. "Bruce Almighty", "Charlie Angels 2", "Stalingrad", "Enemy at the Gates", "Minority Report", "Ong Bak" etc etc.  I have this compulsion to buy stuff when I see something that I like, even though I may not have the time for it.  I really have to learn to control my spending if I want to get my car.  Priorities Priorities and Priorities.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

GET The HEll off My Screen!!

Popups. Don't you absolutely hate them? Well, I hate them. There's very few things in the life of an internet junkie that are more frustrating than those annoying little ad boxes that jump up, totally out of the blue, screaming "SURPRISE -- BUY ME!"

It's like swatting at mosquitoes, only you have a chance to get them before they bite. But you are dealing with blood suckers either way.

Now, before anyone accuses me of being a computer neophyte, I know that some browsers can be adjusted to block popups. I am also aware of the many programs that are available to act as a shield against these pests. But I find that these interfere with some web pages that just don't work the same if you won't capitulate to the Popup Piper.

In any case, I'm totally sick of being force fed information regarding the following:

There's one that says "thousands of members online now" right below a picture of a woman who looks so hot she should be out jilting Average Joes. Uh-huh. Then there's the one that says, "find romance and friends with scientific matchmaking." Scientific, huh? Gee, I sure hope this doesn't involve peeing in a bottle. Who do they think they are, Clone-A-Mate?

Gee, I can't figure out why I'm skeptical. The quotes might be free, but I'm sure the premium payments are extracted through the nostrils.

Buy the cell phone and get cash back. Nah, I got a better idea. Just give me the cash and you can keep the handphone.

At an all-time low, huh? Click your state and refinance? I keep looking for Singapore, but nothing's there. Oh, that's right. Singapore is NOT A STATE!!! Stupid, lousy, geographically-challenged thing...

Get another 8,000 free smileys? How many emoticons does a person need? Right as though we will use every single one of them.. can't life be alittle simple with less emotions.

It's some sort of money making scheme masquerading as some sort of money making scheme. Their "revolutionary system harnesses the power of the internet and advertising," but the ad won't tell you what it is -- unless you hand over a heap of personal information and/or dinero.

I'm utterly astounded at how often I'm somebody's millionth site visitor. Flashing lights, floating balloons... How come I don't get this lucky playing the lotteries?

And last, but certainly least:

I don't care if it's free -- which I know it's not. I have no desire to be watching any jungle-fetishist, old-man spanking, monkey-pulling, whip-cream wearing, tranny nymphos at work.


What about you guys? Name your two cents worth of crap. The tagboard section is open for your bitchin' pleasure.
Traits of SOME girls

I am not trying to be mean or witty but a general observation on the things that happen in my workplace. Some comments made which I think worth mentioning...

1) Grrrrrosss…(said with a stress on the letter R)
This means you have said something amazingly disgusting and the woman, in all probability, is disgusted too. Gross is often followed by a long drawn Ewwwwwww...

2) Oh, reeeaaallllyyyy… (said with a stress on each syllable of the word Really)
This means you have said something amazingly witty and the woman cannot come with a good repartee.

3) Excuseeee meeeeee…
This means you have said something disgusting and the woman cannot believe you actually said that. Normally, a verbal barrage follows this. I think I don't have to mention whose famous/ favourite catchphrase is that??

4) Ok ffffffine…(said with a quick OK and a slow fffffineeeee)
This means you have been relentlessly saying something disgusting and the woman will comply… but only against her will.

5) Hmmmmmm… (normally said over Messenger chats)
This is a good sign. NO. This is a MAJOR breakthrough. This is the stuff Camp David or the Indo-Pak Bilateral Dialogue is made of. This means the woman in question is ACTUAlLY thinking what you have just ask of her.

Hmmmmmm..... well as always something to ponder on for a short internet break...

Saturday, July 10, 2004

A Big Screw Up

Today I really "screwed" up... Let's face it who in the right frame of mind would use a four-letter word in the lesson, especially during a lesson observation!! I was actually going to say that Hong Kong and Shanghai were fighting and of course in a absolute slip of tongue, it became... (well it is up to your imagination) Sometimes it just need someone to use the slip of tongue to explain what happen this morning, yah thanks to all my precious little 3/4 girls, who couldn't stopped giggling and of course our dear Gillian have to add onto the joke by giving a comment " the two countries can't satisfy each other" adding another nuance to the whole skewed perversed situation. But luckily for me, the whole lesson went on smoothly. I know I can trust my form class when I needed them. :)

Found something interesting though... laugh my head off. click here
I am in the mood for nostalgia. have been watching all those extremely old Hong Kong vampire movies. In fact I also don't know why I have been spending so much money on all those vintage VCDS and of course watching it over and over again. You know those with "vamp"ies jumping from one end to the other, sucking blood and killing people. I have to say that the directors are pretty ingenious in giving the vampires a mind of their own. In some scenes they were jumping in a straight line, in some they were walking like human beings. I have already know what will happen, who will die, what will the exorcist do etc, but I still watch it. Nothign on the TV that will captivate my attention. But then again I digress.

I am setting the A Maths paper for the test next week. Friday that's it. I hope all of you who are reading this will rememember to study it, and of course Ace it.

But then again, who knows?

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Scattered Thoughts

It is the end of the week. A short respite to the pathetic and frantic pace of the working week. I am waiting for the RMUN girls to appear in front of me for conferencing. Where are they? And why is it three o clock in the afternoon and where did my time go to?

Sometimes I wondered if my life would have been more productive if I would to fly back home everyday to do my stuff. Damn I must really get the car. But then again, taking public transport can really allow me to sit and reflect (ie sleeping and drooling), to observe (sights and sound and even smells)

I got the Hitler movie to watch so that I can be ready for lessons. Half way through and pretty nice show, with a very intense performance by Robert Carlyle. I find him a greta actor who managed to protray the mood and the personality , the angst of a aspiring artist, the innocence and finally the ruthless leader that we came to know. I can't wait to show the movie to the girls. They will definitely be interested. Well people like to watch thing that are a bit on the perverted side, whether it is the person or the show itself.

My computer is starting to get a shorter and shorter lifespan. "Die" on me yesterday. And again at a crucial time when my wife got to finish up with her presentation this afternoon. Is it because I have been abusing it too much such that it cannot function to its ripe age anymore. But then again, all things dies...

Attended two wakes the past two nights, one was the grandmom of a student and the other the grandpa of a close friend.Quite different, one is a catholic wake and the other a traditional chinese hokkien one; one quiet and solemn, the other noisy. I prefer the second one, maybe it brings back memories of my late grandparents'. I was even sharing my knowledge about some of the dos and don'ts with my friends.

I found that my thoughts are really scattered today. If things don't make much sense to you, don't worry, it didn't to me.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Educational Purposes

For those who are expecting me to give my 2 cents worth. This is it.

Actually I have decided to update the blog so that it can served its role for education (ie contaminating the young and imparting desirable behaviour). Thus this is the structured essay question answer scheme. Click Here!
if you have problems logging in, please use the following: username: SSCHIJTP password: ilovechij

For the 3/1 girls, this is the Yahoo Group as promised.
Yahoo Group Name: SS312004

I have placed the first set of work at the group discussion. Go and have a look!

Monday, July 05, 2004

50 Useful Insults

Ripped this off from the net, and I thought I was rude with my comments!

1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in
cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you
worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough
oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut
it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
16. You have the IQ of lint.
17. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
18. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
19. People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid
20. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind
that I'm not listening.
21. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a
vulture would eat.
22. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel
even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
23. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the
24. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.
25. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I
have a much lower opinion of you.
26. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't
seem to get my head that far up my ass.
27. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
28. If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
29. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
30. If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.
31. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep
32. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the
way of your ignorance.
33. It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't
34. I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive
than you are.
35. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
36. Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know
you've got a palm.
37. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
38. People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After
all, you have inferiority!
39. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
40. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up
for the pigs.
41. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
42. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
43. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
44. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on
the way down.
45. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to
take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
46. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a
47. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's
48. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
49. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
50. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?

AND how to be sure if someone is an Idiot?

You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she:

Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it
said concentrate.

Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his

Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

Sends a fax with a stamp on it.

Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"

Tries to drown a fish.

If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get

Thinks socialism means partying.

Trips over a cordless phone.

Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he
put Sagittarius."

Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Studies for a blood test and fails.

Invents a solar powered flashlight.

Sells the car for gas money.

Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves.

Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead.

Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
left", he turned around and went home.

Spend his/her valuable time reading my 2.10 cents worth when he/she should be doing somethig constructive :P

My Dream Car

It is 5.40pm in the late afternoon. And after a couple of caffeine loaded tea from Sri Lanka, I decided to write a new entry to my blog.

Was in school since 10.30am, got caught in the rain when I was on my way to buy breakfast. Got drenched, as expected! Started with all my backlogged stuff, preparing lessons the usual thing, when all the people are enjoying their Youth Day holidays. I guess this is what those people say as no life. And I guess I shouldn't even start rambling about this thing about teachers since I have been talking about it over and over again.

Just to explain my absence on the two days (Saturday and Sunday) during the 150 years celebrations at CHIJMES, when I heard that many ex-students wer asking for me. Anyway I was there already at 7am in the morning,busy with the panels for the artworks in the cathedral. I dropped by briefly at 8 pm in the evening only to be dragged out of the celebration by my wifey who was too tired to go on walking in her heels. And I was there AGAIN at 12.30pm on Sunday helping to dismantle the panels and bring them back to school. Just to assure the people the I was doing my part for the festival :P

Anyway, I got really bored with writing and marking and I started surfing the net for my dream car at this present moment. I found myself even more inspire to get a car after looking at pictures of these babies. Anyway I have zoomed it down to this one! Yes!

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Harry Potter, the Singapore Version

Found this very funny, wanted to share with all...

1. Qualifies as ‘foreign talent’ immediately. (Some more, his talent is damn foreign, one.)

2. Must buy COE for broom.

3. Also, after parking broom, must remember to put coupon.

4. Hogwarts becomes part of Through Train Programme.

5. Hogwarts to be renamed ‘Magicopolis’.

6. For mother tongue, put down ‘‘Parseltongue’ instead of Malay, Tamil Chinese or French

7. In potions class, learn that potions can be either ‘heaty’ or ‘cooling’.

8. Will have to deal with being labelled a “mugger” in addition to a “muggle”.

9. Have fun along East Coast Parkway, shouting ‘Lumos!’ and disturbing the lovers in the bushes.

10. SingTel to provide owl-delivered messages as option in their mobile plans.

11. Hagrid kena put on the Trim And Fit programme.

12. After graduating from Hogwarts, kena do NS.

13. People will keep calling Hermione “Her-myon”.

14. The Dursleys will make him stay in the maid’s room instead of under the stairs. (The maid will stay under the stairs.)

15. Prisoner of Changi.

16. Encouraged to faster marry Hermione and have three kids before thirty.

17. Encouraged by Gahmen to become not just a “wizard” but a “wizapreneur”.

18. Gahmen declares it aims to make it to the Quidditch World Cup by 2010.

19. Meanwhile, Singapore Pools starts accepting bets for Quidditch.

20. Because of lightning-shaped scar on forehead, asked to join Youth Wing of certain political party.

21. Formation of Order of the Phoenix kena rejected by Registrar of Societies.

22. Cannot refer to dark overlords by actual name. (No difference there.)

23. Harry. Good name, same as that of a Minister (guess who?)

From the website

Friday, July 02, 2004

Youth Day

when the Ij girl graduate from the school, she will not remember what content you have taught, or even some of the interesting lessons you have given; she will remember you as a teacher and mentor and most importantly she will remember you for the wackiest performances you have put up on Youth day...

IJ had this interesting tradition where the teachers have to entertain the students. This is when the IJ teachers showed off their hidden talents (whether it is singing in the shower, or in front of a ear-muffed audience in a sound proof room) This is also the opportunities where the teachers sportingly and unsportingly "humiliate" ourselves for the laughter and entertainment of the students. Last year was a break from this tradition but then again, there were just so much things which the staff and students were involved. The SARS outbreak, which seems so distant, the IJ Carnival in late June and of corse not forgetting the super short semester when we had to catch up with the syllabus and at the same time trying to rush out prepared students for the O levels exams

But then I digress. Over the years, I have to say that it is a acase of the heart is willing but the body is weak. This year was also untimely with the 150 years celebrations with a substantial amount of the students and staff away from the rehearsal at CHIJMES and I can guarantee that next year will be a similiar situation when we start the mad rush of moving back to the new IJ building

So what does all this mean? Things had changed and I believe that it will take a long time before the culture will start settling in again. Sad but true.

I remember the last time when we performed (or embarrassed ourselves) in front of the students. We did a dance based on the music "footloose" and we had a wild time. The second year saw more professionalism when the teachers spent the three days prior to the concert practising. We even edited the music. I believe we did quite a commendable job. The third time we did these, I can see that even the enthusiasm of the teachers was waning. As it goes over the years, it became a chore on top of the bulk of work we have to do, which never seems to be decreasing. Heck, we didn't even have that much time with the students, and bond with them anymore. I shuddered when one day we will just be like machines teaching in classes, where students will even have a hard time trying to remember what's the name of the teacher. Now that's a scary thought.

For memories sake, I would put up one of the archived pictures of the Youth Day performance. And mine it really remind me how far we have gone. Now that's fun!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Com to Me

I'm having a break now which means I have enough time to ramble, ramble, ramble.

I miss the good old days when I received a new e-mail from a friend everyday. Damn I even missed the time when I received letters from friends. Now, I only receive spam. I keep receiving spam from someone who wants me to have a bigger penis. There are also those who has this subject Re:Hi and the next thing you see when you open the message are nubile girls in various states of undress. It is common to see mail with advices and suggestion for finance restructuring and loans and even insommia. I guess at the rate I am reading those mail, I would properly need that! I keep marking the e-mail as 'spam' everytime that stupid Microsoft Outlook filter doesn't seem to work against these things. The spams are getting smarter and smarter. Sometimes, I dream of murdering spammers. Lock them up in a room with no windows and played piped in Hokkien songs non stop! Well that will really be torturous!

My computer died on me a week back. It didn't even say its last goodbyes. When I started the computer, it was silent, less the cpu fan which was stuttering. After a couple of attempt of CPR (Computer Personal Revival), I declared it "dead". I sweated a couple of perspiration and "tears". My 6000 words essay was in the hard disk and I can't retrieve it!! Argh. Lucky for me, I was able to enlist the help of our capable TA Mr Chen and he was able to fix it by getting a new motherborard and cpu. 300+ dollars gone. And after restarting everything, I realised I got the cursed sasser virus! That is the one who reboot your computer over and over again, and if that's bad, I got the spybot virus, the one that track every keystroke on the keyboard. The stupid Norton Antivirus kept prompting that they can't delete the file and can't remove the virus. I don't know what kind of virus it is. It's a sly one, I must say. I don't know where I get these things. I don't even use my computer 90 percent of the time. Most of the time it stared back at me when I go to bed. Anyway it took me a couple of days to finally rectify it. Anyway it also seem that my firewall doesn't work against these things known as adware, you know those stupid pop-ups which are screaming for attention. I found the perfect solutions for it , two excellent shareware which is downloadable namely, ad-aware and zone alarm It will make your computer a la-Troy, unless if you get overly complacent!

With that I will like to end today 2.10 worth of comments with a little comment from an ex student.
ex student #48291: Intriguing reads you have here, Mr Ng! It is quite a breather from all those tasteless schoolgirlish blogs I see dominating the online journal community these days.
Although I hope u are under the impression that by declaring ur blog public, u allow urself to fall under the vicious scrutiny of a large number of gossip-hungry beings that are ur IJ girls.

Firstly I would like to express my thanks to this girl who have "spoken". As I mentioned in my first blog I wanted something different for my blog, which account for the refreshing approach that will differ from the "those tasteless schoolgirlish blogs...dominating the online journal community these days" But I guess that reading things from a teacher's perspective is something new to a student as you will see a different aspect of me. I also understand that I will also be in vicious scrutiny but let's put it this way, we can't please everyone. This is also to my girls who had received nasty or even vicious comments on their tagboards. It served nobody's interest to continue the flaming when you don't even know who that fellow is. It is up to the reader to decide his/her take on the issue. And as the term blog mean, it is YOUR own web log where you share your take on certain issues and it is to be true to yourself that you need to be bothered about.

With that, shoot me down! :P