Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Utter Nonsense

Woke up utterly refreshed but guilty.
Had a good 7 hour nap and then a 7 hour sleep in the evening, interrupted by my stomach rumblings for food. Made myself a sandwich and proceed to read the book left on my table - John Grisham's The Last Juror. No matter what people aid about this author, I am a sucker for his books, and I am not embarrassed by the fact that I had all of his books arrangement nicely in the already cramped book shelf of mine. had a friendly discussion last friday about books and realsied Shanthi was not a fan of his. As Shanthi said quoted and unquoted "sorry for being a sexist, but when it come to fiction stuff, I only read female writers" Well that was a prod on the male ego.

For a while I was always wondering why students came, walking past me giving me the silly grins, I thought that it was
a) my zip was undone
b) I got bread crumbs on my face
c) I wore my underwear superman style in my half awake mode
d) My hair was a la"there is something about Mary"
e) all of the above

It was then a girl came to me and said "Mr Ng I read your blog, you are very funny, it was nice to see things from a teacher's perspective" Ha so that's why? I got blog fans, Not that my inflated ego need something, but it is always good to be able to be appreciated for the hours you put in for writing the blogs. People do ask me to update my blog often but due to time constraint and of course some unforeseen circumstances, it was pretty difficult to be in front of the computer everyday without fail ( and yes, sometimes I do prefer surfing the net, rather than updating my blog, it is like doing homework for me). Anyway Somethimes it is goingt o be difficult for me to write down how I really feel now that I got underaged blog fan is that I do get upset and frustrated about things around and then I can't laced my sentences with expletives too intense for the underaged eyes. and mine you, students nowadays are really smart, really to use any forms of incriminating evidence to get you into trouble. Not thaI don;t trust IJ girls I just don't trust ALL of them :P

On the point of accusations, I was with my wife at the Kampong Java Police station making a police report about a couple of days back. As for the kaypoh who are more interested in why I was making a police report I only had one word for you and that is "k-----" anyway the police inspector was in awe ( if there is no better word) when I mentioned that I am a teacher. It seems that her daughter was a beneficiary of good teaching and did well for the O levels and he was grateful of teachers, including me :P And when I mentioned that I was a teacher from a girl school, his expression changed to that of a "typical police inspector holding a cane " telling me to be careful when i deal with my students. It seems that there were 2 cases of molest which had something to do with teachers. I was of course not surpised to hear that as it is always difficult for guys to keep their hands off girls :P but then again this cases, it seem that the girls had an issue to pick with the teachers and there seems to be no proof in it. And one of the teachers been accused was in a bad fix, he is now pending investigations and most probably he will lose his job; he has a family to feed, just got a new condo and a new car and there goes his bright future. In fact my fellwo colleagues had warned me and another male teacher in the school that we are getting a bit too close to the girls. Certain physical and emotional distace had to be kept. Well I kinda of agree, it can get very stressful if you had a pending court case and the thought of losing everything that you got looming over your head.

Tag replies
jace: noooo how can you bear to leave ij?
A week ago, a class asked me whether I am leaving IJ next year, well just for the record, if I get my scholarship in september, yes I will be leaving. And am I coming back if I leave, the answer is no, I don't think I will be coming back, not because I don't like the school but I will be bonded to the ministry for 4 years and will be serving my due at the MOE HQ. Anyway, I will not be in another school too.

The computer refused to spew out whatever I had save in my documents folder which mean I pretty much lost what I have been doing for the past 2 years. Is it scary that my only recollections of stuff is only in that stupid folder and now that it is gone, I really don't know what to do with it. Talking about memory, I had a dream about my late grandmom yesterday night, The thing is I had not been dreaming about them since they passed away. That's weird. Got to find an answer for this strange phenomenon.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Retrieval Failed

Due to some totally unexpected situation happening to my computer. I woke up in cold sweat and found out that everything in my C:/My documents was entirely wiped out. What was also puzzling to me was that the computer itself seems to go 'retro' - my old computer background picture and everything elese that I thought I delete reappeared. The internet connection was not workign until just now which I don't know how I fixed it. My contact were all gone. My past mail attachment and stuff were all gone. My internet history were all gone. Well it seem pretty freakish and on another day I would have been extremely pissed with it. But then again I am just too tired to bother anymore. I had not have my dinner as yet ( Time check 10.38 pm) and I am still drowsy from the 8 hour sleep since 2 in the afternoon.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Just three words

With the benefit of hindsight, I guess the friday issue could have been dealt with in a better way. There were many "what-if"s and many "I should have" scenarios but then again, the action was taken, the effect felt and nothing else could be done. There is no way we can travel back time to do it in another way; (even though technically dv/dt for the particle neeed to be at the speed of light which is 3 x 10 to the power of 8 meters per sec) I think the key point is that whether this issue will make or break the class spirit so as to speak. It was a learning experience for all, where we will hopefully see things in another perspective.

Nobody wanted it to end this way. It was a circumstantial issue, which required a circumstantial solution at that point of time. It was situational; all of us wanted something positive - to do the mass well and we had different ways of doing it and different ways of reconciliating and reacting. Whatever you may want to see, all of us do have the class interests at heart

In a group dynamics situation, this is a normal phase that all groups /organisation go through- A period of 1) forming where teams with diverse personalities come together for a certain cause, 2) storming where conflicts of ideas happens, 3) norming where the team find wasy to reconcile and work with each other and lastly 4) performing where they synergise and achieve/excel in their goals. It is in time of troubles and stress where the spirit shows. What is before us is the Thanksgiving Mass where we put our class spirit to the test. I hope that the class will put through this storming period together and be united as always, especially the committee who can rally the class together again!

I cannot be there on Monday as I will be helping out in the Heats but I will be there when you people rehearse. Have a great practice and a great Mass!
A story

Once upon a time there was this little boy, quiet, unassuming and lacking in self confidence. He never get along with the friends around him. There was no body that he can trust and nobody he could talk to. She had an uncle who was very concerned about her. Everytime he would spend time talking to her and would try to counsel him whenever he was down and frustrated. But he always feel that there are something he cannot tell his uncle.

However one day, he came back very happy, he told his uncle that he was going to perform in a play. It was not an important role but he was glad to be part of it. His uncle was proud of him and he told him to do his best. However as the day for the performance approaches, his uncle realize that he was not his usual self. As always his uncle ask him what went wrong and he stayed silent. His uncle, was getting tired of asking him the same question over and over again without getting a reply and thus decided to let the issue pass. “What can I do?” the uncle thought, when I can't even get him to open up to me. As the performance date got closer, the boy got more and more withdrawn. The uncle attended the performance and it was a wonderful show. The boy gave a sedated performance but the rest of the performers more than make up the show. When he congratulated the boy, the boy shed a tear. Dismissing it as a tear of joy and pent up frustration and pressure built up, the uncle gave the boy a hug and sad to him, “there you are, you have proven it,.you can do it” The boy looks away. “You don't know”

One year later, the boy took his PSLE exam, unlike all his classmates who managed to move on to the express stream, he was the only one who failed to do so. His uncle was angry with him for not doing well in his studies. He was a bright boy, he was not lazy. And these result was unexpected. “What happen?” he asked the boy. “I don't understand how you can get these results!?” The boy looked at him, eyes welling up, “You don't understand, you stop understanding and you never will” He walked away, holding the crumpled result slip in his hand.

His uncle never saw the boy again...

The last time the uncle heard about the boy, he was in another school, another environment; he seems different, he was outspoken, he was happy. The uncle was happy for him but he sometimes ask himself that could he help or is this an eventual path that must happen…