Saturday, July 30, 2005

Potentially confusing post

I haven't been blogging for a week plus.

I have been having my PMSes...

I am serious.

I am having all this mood swings which really feels like a roller coaster ride these few day, then i am getting a headache just spinning up and down

Students who experience this sudden outbursts of irritation and tinges of sacarasm are forewarned. This may go on for a long period of time.

I shall not give all of you the longs and shorts about what had been happening to me for the past few weeks, but let just say that there are points of time when I feel that I am at the crossroads of things.

The situation though had been resolved but there are still the internal turmoils in my heart which I need to come to terms with. In fact it has come to a point of time that both ways of the crossroads are not where I want to go. Either way I won't be really happy.....

My close friends and my wife had been talking to me and I have been trying to reconcile all these by myself and I realise that it is going to be difficult in anyway what so ever. But it has come to a point of time that I just have to decide what is it best for me and just welcome the new challenges with open arms.

Whatever decision I made, it is mine and mine only and I can only say that it is a painful one.

I rest...

I ponder...

I decide...

I had decided...

Friday, July 22, 2005

The Ego One's Sick Random Mumblings

I’m bushed.

Had been working hard these few weeks. Damn haven't been working so hard since the beginning of the year. I think I need an MC. Incoherent as the above points are, I realise one very important point: that getting sick and getting an MC, are usually mutually exclusive events, or in a purely mathematical form if Getting sick is represented by the subset S and getting an MC is Subset M. Then S intersect M is a null set.... I have seen girls who look extremely sickly during lessons but was perfectly energetic after school. What magical medicine are they eating??

Anyway fast backwards to a case in point: In the army when I was "earning" my citizenship, I had this terrible case of stomach flu, but the doctor just blatantly refused to give me an MC. Damn. I hope he lose his license or something ( like fall into the drain and break his manhood... haha I am joking, I was actually hoping that he fall and injuried his manhood) But then again, my cursing never works and this doctor end up with a good marriage and 4 healthy kids. I think I should really be cursing more...

Anyway time jump to present day, to an older and wiser me. I realise that people nowaday are either falling sick really easy or they just failed to sound/look/smell convincingly sick. So I decided to help people around to by sharing with you guys some of my finer tactics in getting MCs:

1) NEVER go to the company doctor. They are paid not to give you adequate MCs.

2) Sleep as little as possible the night before, preferably under 5 hours. With this, you can achieve that ‘I-coughed-so-badly-I-couldn’t-sleep-last-night’ kind of look.

3) Don’t brush your teeth, wash your face, or comb your hair before the visit. This helps you achieve that haggard look, which complements Tactic #2. The doc probably wouldn’t appreciate your bad breath, but who gives a damn about him. He’s earning loads of money from you anyway.

4) Punctuate every sentence with a cough. This is also a test to see whether if your doc is genuinely concerned about you. The one true good doc I met actually poured a cup of warm water for me when I did this, and I felt very guilty after that. For about a few seconds.

5) INSIST on two day’s worth of MC. If need be, say something extreme like you really need the rest, if not you’ll cause a fatal accident or something in your workplace/school.

There you have it! Lo and behold, the joy of watching your doctor endorsing your MC is simply priceless. Finally, a word of caution: Don’t be too anal retentive and say you’ve got food poisoning or something when you really don’t, because the doc will probably proceed to stick some apparatus up the place where the sun don't shine for traces of discharge specimen.

If all things failed, ask you mom or dad to write you a letter, you can even keep a soft copy with delete if applicable symptoms of sickness for your mom or dad to sign. They are acceptable in school though..

Monday, July 18, 2005

Time flies

I bought a new portable harddisk on saturday and now I am trying to archive all my stuff.

Found this picture, really brought back alot of fond memories as a first time sec 3 form teacher. I can't believe it has been 3 years already. In fact this really was the first time that I find my calling as a teacher. It has since been 3 years, 3 long years. My time in Ij had been wonderful. I will never forget the opportunities that had been here for me to bond, to interact with my class and to know them as friends...

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005


I spent most of last night downloading and listening to old songs, (talk about music piracy).

Sinead O Connor - Nothing Compares To You
Tracy Chapman - Baby can I hold you
Rick Price - Heaven Knows
Phil Collins - Separate Lives
Breathe -Hands in Heaven

Actually the thing is that i have all those CDs, but I am just too busy to look through the shelves of CDs to locate it. It also sound extremely weird and scary ( remember the "dropping marbles" sound in HDB flats) to be ransacking in the middle of the night say 2 am.....

I hate it when I listen to a song and certain memories are triggered and affect me badly. :( So I just curled up in bed listening to the songs on repeat, had weird dreams.

Maybe sometimes in life it is just too difficult to please and sometimes to difficult to understand. Maybe it is just the way we made it to be. It is depressing how things have turned out, or how I had single handedly made them to be. To help, you just have to be mean. I don't profess that I am the nicest guy, and I don't want to be the nice guy, for nice guys last last. Characters are made and chosen; I was made for this. I just hope that if separation do come, let separation be bittersweet, for it was what I choose it to be.


You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Separation will be a hard word to say

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I have a new lover...

Her name is Kylie...

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Just Kidding....

I am getting really boliao...
The IJ Song - What an IJ girl wants ( to be sung by IJ girls of course)

Tune By: "How much is that doggie's Composer (brownie points for those who knows who)
Lyrics by: A sleep-deprived Ego one
In The Tune Of: How much is that doggie. Duh.

How **** is that boy? ( Original Lyrics and looping midi found here)

How sweet is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want!)
The one who is flashing the bills.
They say ACS boys are the richest,
I do hope that boy is not gay.

I must choose Raffles or SJ,
And no neighbourhood ah beng for me.
If he can't speak well, then I am sorry
He can jolly well find an ah Lian.

How hunky is that boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one with hu-mon-go-us feet.
They say that the body is proportional.
I do hope there measured up same.

I don't want a jock or ah beng,
I don't want a boy that just nags.
I don't want a boy with no opinion,
Or haunt me like a stalker in sight.

How cute is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one in that studded uniform.
His leg hairs are showing from his khakis
And he speak with a cheena accent.

How cute is that boy boy by the walkway? (I want)
The one with the "retro"ish look.
He carries a dict and spout shakespeare
Oh please can he please get a life.

It is so difficult to get the right guy,
And prayed that he isn't taken.
If I still don't find anything I like,
Maybe I should just turn lesbian.

I need coffee badly. I shall stop this before people starts slapping me. I need more sleep.
The one where I cannot sleep at night

I have been having difficulties getting to sleep. My sleep deprivation has affected me badly. I can't think straight ( interestingly who does, and of course who does care??!!) For those who expressed concern, I can't really reveal much but it is just that I am going through some personal and school and personaschoolly problems that I am still having difficulties trying to sought out my thoughts. I have not got any answer yet but I realise that the more I think about it, the more frustrated I am. I am glad that I am out from school at the CCK with my track and field girls because 1) it get me out of my self imposed misery 2) the whole thing get me so tired that I can really plonk on my bed and have an undisturbed sleep.
Anyway in my attempts to get myself to sleep I decided to write this entry with the intention of helping insomniacs, ie people like me. It don't necessarily work because I am still wide awake. Anyway here goes:

1) Count sheep.
They say the old and ancient are wise, but I beg to differ because this was what they used to do to fall asleep. Not only did I tried counting sheep, I also tried zebras, llamas and even hippopotamuses. None worked. It only got me in a really frenzy mood with the pile of A maths homework I am supposed to finish marking.

2)Drink a hot cup of milk/ Horlicks/ Milo/ volka shots.
The above are supposed to calm your nerves, which sounds fine in theory, but I encountered many problems. I've ran out of chocolate milk and I hate skimmed. I don't have Horlicks in my house because I don't like Horlicks. Then my stomach felt weird a short while after I drank the Milo. Goodness.

3)Listen to music.
It is said that music soothes the soul. That failed to work on me even though I had my ears numb after two hours' worth of MP3 entertainment. On hindsight, maybe it was because I was listening to Oasis.

Seems to work to a small extent for me. But my body is still aching from the physical exertions courtesy of that 5 k run I had at Mac Ritche. Besides, and no offence here, but I think the idea of running after midnight is just plain weird. You just don't know what/who you would meet.

5) Read your textbooks.
The textbook never fail to get me into sleep mode. However, what sounds like a brilliant idea during the exams, often fails to work post-exam especially for me where there is no more exams. But I guess having a boring book will help. I don't know.

In conclusion, I would suggest to insomniacs not to bother with the above methods because I've tried them all but failed. Maybe I should get another cup of Milo or get my creative juices to compose again.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The 3 Cs

I attended a Malay wedding on Sunday and this was my first Malay wedding I had attended. Interestingly in a multiracial society like Singapore, I only get to experience a wedding of a different culture until 31 years of my existence. I was merely tagging along as it was my wife's colleague.

We reached there around 3.30pm and was met with loud singing coming from a set of speakers via a karaoke system.

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At a cozy multi purpose hall beside a multi-storey carpark

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Close up views of the wedding dinner reception area

In a small tentage where the DJ cum emcees were, a friend/relative/acquaintance/karaoke fanatic/Singapore Idol Wannabe was belting out a familiar Malay song with gut-so ( big from the chicken briyani and free flow of drinks)

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Well-wishers sending their congrats through karaoke

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We are well settled, seen here my missus and her colleague. I am holding the camera doofus!!

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Helping ourselves with the food

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Chicken briyani... yum yum

Interested and disinterested Malays were seated in the multipurpose hall, trying to hold a proper conversation amidst the loud booming music. Anyway what really interest me was that the bride and bridegroom were no where to be seen. It seems that it was a malay wedding culture where the bride and bridegrrom will only appear at certain stipulated times and if you miss it, just take your meals and be off. I find this extremely interesting as my impression of a wedding is that the main centre of attraction should be the bride and groom and it seems so inappropriate that they were not around.

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Where are the bride and the groom??

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There they are!!

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A group photo.. I am the odd one out with my height...I look horrible in this picture!!

The interesting theory that came out from the discussion I had with my wife while we were enjoying the sumptuous food was that the three main races in singapore have very different opinions about weddings and it can be classified under the heading "C"

For the chinese, we are very concerned about "CLASS", we would never be caught dead (pun intended) hosting a wedding dinner in a community centre or void deck. Chinese are too concerned about their "face" to do so. They would not mind incurring huge amount of loans just to have it at XXX hotel or XXX restaurant just be cause the ambience is good or the food is good. It seems like the bigger the place, the more class one has.

For the malays, it is important to have the "COMMUNITY". The strength of the communal spirit is exceptionally strong. It seem like a wedding is never a two people affair, it is not even a two family affair but the whole clan (extended or not) affair. That is the beauty of it, the whole family is down with friends and friends of friends helping out in one way or another. It is seen as a mini carnival and this is really a joyous occasion. And trust me, you would be happy when you see the bill after the wedding ( And definitely not as much as the chinese)

For the Indians, well I don't really know... Perhap there must be "CURRY" a staple in Indian cuisine. Anyway can't blame me I have never attended one myself. Any invitations?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Dinner, Date and Dilemma

I had dinner with a friend on Wednesday. Actually more of a friend, a younger "sister" whom I know for close to 10 years now. I was about 30 minutes late as usually, and as usually it was the horrible traffic jams and of course the oh so committed "me" spending time with my track and field girls at the Bishan Stadium that evening.

After meeting her near Bugis Junction, setling down comfortably in the cozy but quite crampy restaurant with a seat which barely covered three quarters of my posterior, we ordered our food and have our long awaited ccccccccaaaaaaatching up of about 2 years.

I was surprised that it has been so long since we conatcted each other and my "sister" was able to deal a sacarastic "comment" that I will never ( and I should not embarrass myself by highlighting and bolding the word) contact her. It was then i confessed and she with a little bith of sheepishness that we both have classfied each other under the oh so cliche category known as "leisure" ( well at least that was what she classify me under now in her oh so obiang phone which had already been taken off M1 handphone promotional classified like eons ago) It is like we will contact each other when we inexplicitly scrolled up or down our contact list and realised that there was this name so familiar once but have not been contacting for like ages. Trust me, we belonged to that category now. We had a good laugh over it and was of course buys speculating when we will meet again after this dinner appointment. We laugh as possible scenarios were proffered such as my daughter's 1st month celebration, her wedding dinner ( which of course brought a flurry of comment about getting the best deal for whichever hotel's packages). Then again we promised each other we will again catch up during the period before christmas. Maybe we can then gave each other our belated birthday gifts. ( hoope she is reading this...)

We talked about everything and it was such a feeling to just share about things. From her boyfriend, to my wife, from our mutual friends to her ex-classmates to my colleagues, from our beliefs and aspirations and trepidations. I told her I was not really a free thinker but a think-freer- Someone who can oipen thoughts and provoke thinking and she laughed. It was such a hearty laugh and i found myself smiling. It has been a really difficult week for me for deep inside me there were so many things, doubts and frustrations that is circling. It was easy to pretend nothing has happen and just smile, but I did just that that evening. It was a great dinner, a getaway and short 2 hour mental spa. But sad to say it didn't really last. Just like the pan fired dory fish and the miserly piece of brownie. But then I was glad to meet up.

It was a great dinner and to know people do care.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Youth Day 2005

A horrible day that reminds people like me that it is a celebration de passe.

We had it in school in a different way this year. With the parents coming on board with the food preparation and the ingenious stuff of nail art and of course the disco in the IJ hall. (So what about Zouk? We bring Zouk to IJ! :P)

Anyway to keep the long story short, as a member of the Staff welfare Committee and one of the 2 teachers who were overseeng this event with infrequent meeting with the parents, I had to say that it is quite a success. Let me count thee reasons

Firstly the parents are happy as they got to be more involved in the celebrations. It is after all their daughters who are in the school and benefitting from this whole celebrations. On top of that the three containers of bee hoon which were unconsumed by the girls were sent to the IJ homes for the sisters. A great gesture. How I know? I was the one who delivered it with Dr Angela Wong, a parent.

Secondly the teachers are happy because 1) they no longer have to humiliate/embarrass/showcase their talents/perform/do silly things/all of the above during this day when apparently the kids turned emperors/kings/goddesses... Serving them food drinks and ice cream is okay since we are pretty much in the service industry anyway.

Thirdly the girls are happy because they get 1)free food, 2) free drinks, 3) free icecream, 4) free gifts, 5) free disco entertainment and 6) free time ( no lessons) Although many girls commented that it was boring, with all the useless free gifts and stuff, I think this year gift is pretty meaningful. The IJ lanyard can be us to put you ez link card, pretty executive looking... and of course youc an put your contact and name just in case you suffer from a bout of amnesia and need people to bring you home. Lastly if you are really stressed, you can of course chew it and let the blue color stain your mouth. As a last resort, you can try to end your life with it by getting a friend ( if she do it, she is not really a friend) to try to choke you with it. Be creative think out of the box. there are like thousand and one way to do with it.

Anyway Happy Youth Day to all the youths. Celebrate Youth for it represent the most vibrant of you. For those teachers who are not youthful like me, what the heck, at least it is a holiday...

And of course that's my 2 cents worth