50 Useful Insults

Ripped this off from the net, and I thought I was rude with my comments!

1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in
cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you
worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough
oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out
alone.
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut
it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the
privilege.
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
16. You have the IQ of lint.
17. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
18. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
19. People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity.
20. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind
that I'm not listening.
21. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a
vulture would eat.
22. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel
even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
23. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the
blame.
24. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.
25. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I
have a much lower opinion of you.
26. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't
seem to get my head that far up my ass.
27. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
28. If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
29. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
30. If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.
31. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep
trying.
32. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the
way of your ignorance.
33. It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't
matter.
34. I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive
than you are.
35. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
36. Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know
you've got a palm.
37. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
38. People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After
all, you have inferiority!
39. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
40. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up
for the pigs.
41. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
42. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
43. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
44. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on
the way down.
45. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to
take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
46. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a
mistake!
47. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's
ass.
48. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
49. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
50. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?

AND how to be sure if someone is an Idiot?


You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she:

Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it
said concentrate.

Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his
mind.

Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

Sends a fax with a stamp on it.

Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"

Tries to drown a fish.

If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get
change.

Thinks socialism means partying.

Trips over a cordless phone.

Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he
put Sagittarius."

Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Studies for a blood test and fails.

Invents a solar powered flashlight.

Sells the car for gas money.

Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves.

Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead.

Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
left", he turned around and went home.

Spend his/her valuable time reading my 2.10 cents worth when he/she should be doing somethig constructive :P