The Killer Wave
(A poem written in memory of the innocent who lost their loved ones)

IMPORTANT LEGAL NOTICES

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Before you actually read the poem,
PLEASE NOTE All of the poem need to be taken with a healthy dose of scepticism. I cannot accept any reponsibility or liability for any harm, upset or other consequential damage caused by gullible people.

This is, first and foremost, a humourous blog. This may sound rather obvious but you would not believe the number of people I get sending me very abusive emails because I got my facts "wrong". The reports, etc, contained on this site are not to be taken seriously in any way shape or form. Some of them are wildly inaccurate, skewed, exaggerated, call it what you will. Please don't email me to point that out. I already know this stuff but I have deliberately gotten it all wrong for comic effect, OK? Due to the nature of the reports being submitted to this site, I have no way to guarantee that all, some or any of them contain accurate information.

without further ado....


Have you read the news today

or heard the radio about the killer wave?

As many as 12 thousand die

and it happen on the globe by the eastern side



Countries like Sir Lanka, got their share

Indonesia, Thailand were not spared

And the next we know is up North

Where Penang of Malaysia also got



How it happens, is a daze

It was then peaceful on a bright Sunday

then something strange by the sea,

came a wave, height about 3 storeys

People were buried, drowned in water,

some got choked and others got a shower

Families were lost, tears were shed

Beachside holidays became sad



It is corny explaining as I tried

When plates collide, people die.

I don't know why this natural catastrophe,

It could be God's anger in the making



My mom had a quirk explanation for all this

why Singapore was still in one piece

Remember we have shows for Charity

We are all too nice and God let us stay alive


Trust me , reading all this will help u in your literature :P

Merry Christmas to All!!

This has been a great year and I realise that I have not been blogging for ages. Went out to a ex-student house for a Christmas celebration on the 24th and of course been the filial son that I am, brought my parents to Orchard Road last night for a spin to look at the beautiful but less than spectacular lights along the busiest street in Singapore. The roads seem so empty, must be from the hangover of the Christmas Eve celebrations. But then again , the people pushing people scenario along the long stretch of Orchard Road was indeed crowded. Punks, young and old, filipinos with a night off and male Bangdaleshis holding hands in a la Viva Gay Vegas. But then again what is it about the whole Christmas without an old scrooge like me to poke fun at everything that I have seen and read?



Anyway I had been pretty disturbed/horrified/surprised/ pissed by a lot of things that were happening in Singapore and around the world for the past few weeks. As a Christmas present, I would now unload my 2 cents worth of comments. Are you ready??

China rewards diligent teachers with a present - a brand new car
I beleive that Singapore MOE feel that rewarding teachers with a 2 and a half months worth of bonuses is enough to get the teacher to slog like dogs ( damn it really rhymes!!) Anyway I can see that at least the Guangzhou province, if I am not mistaken, clearly show their respect for the hard work of the teachers. Not that i have anything to complain about but sometimes I really wondered, we teachers slogged like mad and then we have to rush for the holidays with the rest of the other schooling kids, and worst pay peak prices for airport, airport taxes and of course hotel accomodation. And thanks alot MOE if you really factor in these inflation in prices, the bonus you gave us is really not a bonus at all. But then again, I must really thank them for providing such a long holidays for us teachers, wait a minute, the holiday is going to come to an end soon...

Teacher couple die in New Zealand honeymoon when their car crashed
It really hurt to see another of our comrades-in-arms die for such a unworthy cause. Please do not be misunderstood, I am not trying to poke fun at this, but I see this as a loss to the teacher profession, two amiable teachers, all well respected by peers and students and as they embarked on their new lives together, Wham!! an accident happen and took their lives away. I know that what I am about to discuss may not be related or even remotely related to this, but for the most observant of people, I am now a proud owner of a car. Well actually for around 2 month plus liao. With my amulet placed on the windscreen and of course the back of the car, I am immedicately tagged with the "novice driver" Not that I have anything to complain about that, it allows me to make the most elementary of driving mistakes while still protesting my innocence that I am not familiar with the roads and rules, you know the "I-am-a-new-driver-only-please-be-lenient-with-me" :P. However what this show me what how precocious life is and sometimes when I am on the road, I really prayed that I will bring myself and my passengers alive to their destination. You may think it is silly, but in a small country like Singapore, there are some really f***ing drivers who think their grandfather own the road; they weave around the lanes like some maverick high on prozac. But then again I reckon, the whole bloody road safety required all to be safe before accidents can be prevented, therefore the only thing is to wish for Santa to take the car away from naughty drivers. HO HO HO!!


Mr Ng Will be teaching Sec 3s next year!!
I am not sure whether it will be good news or bad news, but due to an unforeseen change in the timetable, but I will be teaching some Sec 3 classes next year. Anyway I always enjoy teaching Sec 3 because 1) there is no pressure as they are not the graduating classes 2) I can try any new teaching methods with them and there will be no pressure as they are not the graduating classes 3) I will be getting Teachers' Day Presents :P as they are not the graduating classes.
But because of me taking up some Sec 3 classes, I will have to give up some sec 4 classes. Well we will know whether school reopen who are the lucky ones who got away from my clutches!!

Have a happy holiday and start doing you homework.. time is ticking.... :)

A long long night

They are showing the Star Awards on Channel 8 and Big MommaHouse on Channel 5. To show my displeasure to Media corp, I should avoid the TV programmes for today.

Was out since 10pm last night and didn't sleep the whole night, meet up with some friends at Simpang Bedok, had a couple of pratas, and loads of tea tarik, I can feel the teh in my tummy, and I am feeling a little "zombie"ish. We talked throughout the night, and before we know it, it was 8 in the morning. In fact we were a bit dead around fiveish and started giggling and laughing at Simpang. The best part was that we started talking in gibberish and we suddenly became hard of hearing. Must be the sleep deprivation. And to show how bad we were, we started coining new words like

"I am really saber" ( a combination of stable and sober)
"You think my car can squeeze into that entry? You must be joking.. I am not a murtabak"
"You want a teh tarik and errrrrrrrlo" (Milo in non sober pronunciation)

Anyway I just woke up.. If all hese doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, I am still suffering from a hangover

Where do we go from here...

Ripped this from www.talkingcock.com.. damn funny...

Which American reality TV franchise should MediaCorp adapt next? What will they look like?

SINGAPORE TEMPTATION ISLAND
Contestants are sent to the new casino on the island of Sentosa, where they struggle with their temptation to blow their life savings

SINGAPORE APPRENTICE
Contestants compete to work for Singapore’s top char kway teow hawker whose catchphrase is: “You’re FRIED!”

SINGAPOREAN FEAR FACTOR
Singaporeans must overcome their fear of being sued for defamation or getting the air-con treatment somewhere around Whitley Road.

SINGAPORE SWAN
They’re really beautiful! Oops! Sorry, we mean they’re fakely beautiful. But they have a lot of self-esteem issues, so be nice and don’t “swan” them, leh!

THE SINGAPORE RESTAURANT
This week’s exciting episode: the Ministry of Environment conducts a spot check.

SINGAPORE’S BIGGEST LOSERS
This week, the contestants include the poor buggers who invested in Global Crossing, the sad sacks who kena suckered into paying $2b for two berths in Hong Kong's port, the pathetic people who took a stake in CAO, and the taxpayers.

SINGAPOREAN STRAIGHT EYE FOR THE QUEER GUY
A group of SAF infantry sergeants give a chao ah quah a macho makeover, so that his family and friends won’t shun him any longer.

SINGAPORE BACHELOR
They’re single. They’re over 40. They make less than $2,500 a month. Got hope not? Maybe only fat ones. Sponsored by the SDU.

SINGAPOREAN NANNY 999
This local adaptation of America’s ‘Nanny 911’ series features maids calling the police to report their employers for doing stuff like pouring boiling water on them or biting off their nipples.

SINGAPOREAN SIMPLE LIFE
The daughters of two tua kee towkays are sent to stay in a (gasp!) HDB flat and (shock! horror!) study in NUS!

SINGAPORE SURVIVOR
Another Singaporean leaves the island – and resettles in Perth where he’s surviving very nicely, thank you for asking.

SINGAPORE’S NEXT TOP MODEL
In this week’s episode, contestants compete to be the next Nominated Member of Parliament.

Engrish Laesens for the Bengs - Reesons Y The Engrish Language Is So Bloodly Hard Too Learn

With sentences like these, I guess there should be a syllabus B for Engrish for the Bengs and Lians and Slyvester...

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Trivial from Friends
Joey: Won't it be cool if our chick and duck have a baby, we can call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick...

Ah... the beauty of Engrish...

Refractions of the Mind - Being the Ego One

I am into reflections today. Cool word "Reflection", Thanks Ming for reminding me this. I thought what I have had been literary vomit. Well then I realise from the hit rate that my blog is getting since its infancy, I notice that there are quite of you slurping all these like the shark fin soup in a chinese banquet. The shocking thing of course is that now I am a vegetarian. And not many people know about that. Well it seems that VEGETARIAN is not equal to being MEAN, and I seems to be the direct contradiction of that.

I have not been staring into the mirror for the past few days. A bit uncharacteristically non narcassistic. Letting my hair grow to something like a la Sly but with the curls. It look really like the camoflauges of leaves and grass that we use on our helmets in our days in army. But then again, why should I? To dress up are only for those days when you meet a potential client, business partner, soul mate, screaming parent, superior etc. As for now I am in the mood for the Singapore Idle.

Not that I have a lot of time to do so, it is my seasonal grouses again, the Master assignments which are due in February, and of all topics, I have chosen to write something on Teacher Stress. Shouldn't be THATTTT difficult since I have been running my mouth all this while in my blog about how stressed teachers are. But what I didn't forseen was the amount of literature that I have to read in order to write the thingy. And as for stress, just to educate those who have read till this point without feeling stress, stress was referred to as the "spice of life" and there are in fact 4 types of stress : hyperstress ( where there is too much spice and you just feel like frequenting the toilet there and then and there again), distress ( spices that are overdue or the typical practical joke thingy of put salt into your coffee, the effect is ... well you know), hypostress ( where the food is just bland and tasteless and spices cost just too much) and finally eustress ( not to be mistaken as a woman body part but this mean good and positive stress... and by the way, there are good stress).

Talking about stress, none can be more stressed than the two idols at the very day when the results were been revealed. In front of 3 milllion audience, "live" and dead (pun unintended), both of them were trying to keep cool and I guess these was what was going through their mind that very moments...

( A fictitous renactment)
Sly: "die lah, if I don't win, then must act like nothing like that, must hug Ah Tau and then remember to smile at fans... Chances I don't win lah, "It's my lyfe" sing berry badly, but really be brushing up on my engrish... *&^%$(#!^%" (hokkien expletive... what do you expected, Ah beng using refined english words like S*** and F***)

Taufik: "Alamak, what to do when I win, who to thank? Mrs Jones? But show surprise, don't be too obvious, if not, they won't believe, yo know Singaporeans, always like to believe in conspiracy theories... Like Singapore Idol also must be like the Singapore Presidency, must rotate among the 4 major races. Guess it shoud be the indigenous race of Singapore to win it... Sayang!!"

Gurmit: "And Singapore Idol is ..... Taufik"

("Screams" and "Applause" signs in Singapore indoor stadium light up, directed at the Sly fans)

Taufik ( eyes wide open!, mouth wide open)
Sly hugged Taufik (face away from cameras) "Damn!! Please don't film my face...."

I know all these are already old stories, but just couldn't resist to poke a little wee bit of fun into it. And the best part is that there will be a repeat telecast this coming saturday. If you don't believe what I had said, just watch the rerun and see if the dialogue above fit what you see on the screen.

I can't believe it when I read the paper this morning which show the number of the votes won by the Idols. Now to keep the long story short, it seems that the Sly fans ( no pun intended) believe that there was a conspiracy ( as usual, singaporeans being the disbelieving lot and their conspiracy theories) to DETHRONE the bengster, and that is why they did not reveal the number of votes won. Yes we have been robbed, claimed the Sly fans. Anyway to keep the Bengs and Lians appeased, the results revealed that (and I was shocked. I really can't believe it), Sly actually had about 38% of the votes, that was like 10 times more than I expected! Not that I am a huge fan of Taufik but come on!! 38% about 1.1 milllion votes! You are telling me that there are so many people who favoured the under DOG to win!! Are you serious that he can be a representation of Singapore for the World Idol. Sigh... not as if Taufik was any better, but then face between the devil and the deep blue sea..... Sigh. Let's face it, if Sly can sing ( just to lap on something from the Chinese Chef Yan) So can you! It is now the invasion of the bathroom singers to come to the podium/stage. So what next?

Renactment of Singapore Idol 2
Yes it is me the host for SI 2 , Gurmit Singh and let me introduce the contestants....
1) Legolas Ng Tau Mo
2) Karaoke Goh Sing Song
3) Shrek Chin Ah Lee
4) Nemo Loh Han Hee
5) Armani Chin Ah Kwee
...

Who will be your Singapore Idol? Let introduce conestant no. 1 Legolas to sing the song " Ai pia jia eh ya" A hokkien favourite!

Talk about cutting edge Ah Bengs and Ah Lians for Singapore Idol or should I say Singapore Bengster... If the inevitable happen, just give me the remote to turn that off..

Sharity Charity

A big hello to all my readers. As you know, I have not been writing much lately.No, I am not shutting down my blog again. Just down with flu for the past couple of days. Great to be back in Singapore after a gruelling trip in Hong Kong.

Anyway the few days in Hong Kong made me more tired than ever. Usually people don't associate holidays with gruelling, but then again, early 8 plus morning calls and late nights till 1 or 2 am. (d0n't these Hong Kongers sleep?, Their shops closed at around 1230am and they will be greeting you in the early hours of the morning with their megawatts smiles) I guess it was the fatigue that made me vulnerable to the flu virus.

Glad some of you managed to watch the show Angela Ashes on channel I. I had to agree that it was not as impactful as it was since the last time I had seen it. Nonetheless the whole movie did go into sensitive themes which I was unable to openly show to all of you behind closed doors (read: air conditioned classroom with a DVD player, ie the career room or humanities room) But with you watching it on TV, I am ABSOLVED of all responsibilites of teaching you the "wrong" values so as you may have misintepreted. That is the powe rof the media and of course the power of pushing the blame...

Anyway, in one of my decadent moments of watching TV, (I usually feel that watching Tv is a complete waste of time, second to reading blogs :P, it burned brain cells and killed creativity according to REUTERS) , I notice that there is going to be yet another Charity show up again which I never bothered to remeber its name. This is like the zillionth one this year. How many are there going to be?Is it a trend now to have a freakin' charity show every few months? It is a bloody waste of the non-handicapped time.

For the non initiated, this is how a charity show works.
First, they announce the prizes you will stand to win. Never mind the fact that the money spent on the prize could very well be used to help the needy in the first place.
Secondly, spend weeks telling anyone unfortunate enough to be watching TV at that time how hard the has been actors/overseas stars/ Mediacorp Artists/handicapped has been working and preparing for months just for the needy. And all the charity shows are the same. A bunch of celebrities (most who you hardly know) to do all sorts of stunts. How innovative. MediaCorp must have earned more from those advertisements than all the donations.
Thirdly, the real deal. That charity show is finally on air. The artists perform their little trivial and crappy exciting stunts. A Cirque De Soliel extravaganza. Hosts tell audience at home that these stunts are not be practised with supervision at home. This is the part where the actors pretend to be in a lot of pain, and suffering. Amazingly, hosts will shed tears and urged viewers to call in. Boohoohoo. Fools who actually believe them will then call the hotline.

In case for those who think that I am an unsympathetic B#$%^&* who shouldn't be even writing this. Let me get some points straight. Firstly I am always and and still one of the those FOOLS who donate but I just cannot comprehend the need to have all these over and over again. Singaporeans are growing increasingly immune to all these charity shows. You need money for your organisations, do a charity show, you need to build a new hospital? do a charity show? No money for your overseas studies, do a charity show? I see these whole things of telecasting these people and exaggerating their plights COMMERCIAL exploitation. I surely won't want to have that form of help with me in front of a TV audience sobbing etc. For the sympathetic, you may say that all these are publicity, and I had to agree that Advertisements do have the desirable effects of getting the donations in. I just wonder if TV had become a device to get the cash registers (opps, donations) in?

Another issue that I have a big grudge on is there really a need to have a cap to the amount donated. Say you are on the street, a little girl with a tin came by with a tin and ask you to donate, you took out a one dollar coin and as you were about to put it into the tin, she placed her little hand over the slot and shook her head, "sorry sir, too little, I only accepted $2, $5 and $10 donations and above" What type of crap is that? Nowadays all these donation come in denominations of $2 $5 and even for some cases $88! Where have the old spirit of giving gone to? When was the time when you give a dollar or even 50cents and you don't feel that cheapskate.

Secondly, I sometimes wondered, while the average Singaporean give and give, what are our leaders doing? These are the people who earn like five digit income from the taxes the people pay? Do they give a cent? Maybe they are just some nameless philantropists but I seriously doubt that the government did placed any form of donation on their own personal terms. Let's face it, they are just living to the government stance of self reliance and non-welfarism in Singapore. They are not heartless, they do grace the occasions at times and encourage other average Singaporeans like you and me to give.

And the best part about the donations are those operating companies managing the hotlines. These telephones network providers insisted that they are only using that extra 20 cents or 50 cents per call to cover their administrative charges. But then again, if they are seriously about getting people to donate and to show the spirit of giving, why do they even need to have that? At the end of the month, they (read:the losers and fools who donated) will then suddenly realise that the telephone network provider has stolen/deducted a lump sum of your donations.

Have you regreted calling the hotline now, don't you?

(in conjunction to coming festive season, Mr Ng encourages all his readers to give generously to charity to help the less privileged, he has nothing against charity or even charity show per se and even the prizes awarded, but if you happened to win something from your donation and is in a giving mood, Mr Ng would gladly be the recipient of the goodwill...:))

Just a short entry..
Channel I is showing the movie "Angela's Ashes" tonight at 10pm. For those who had forgotten what show it is, this was the movie I show all of you during SS classes.
Remember to catch it on I

time checked... it is 1 15 am in the morning.. seems like i have a penchant to type really early in the morning. Well it is really weird as in Hong Kong, this is considered early....

meet up with some friends today, it is really great to have all these friends here, somebody local to depend on for trips like this.

Was out meeting some friends and then went to ladies market which is a little like the pasar malam in singapore, though the stuff are really much cheaper especially the....
Went to LAm Kwai Fong, which is the Hong Kong equivalent of Jalan Sultan. Really happening there, went with an Austrian friend and a Hong Kong classmate (my Sheffield University Classmate) at this very interesting pub where there is a live band and the patron sings with the band.. had a couple of drinks and a volka jelly... now reallt tipsy... unfortunately too drunk pissed to sing my guts and liver out.
If you are wondering how I am able to write this out.. I will try to figure it out and write in my blog when I have recovered from my drunken stupor...

Greetings from Hong Kong

Yes I am back.. don't ask me how i get to use the computer with internet access. But I guess this is a fringe service provided by the motel.

Yes I am staying in a motel, pretty interesting though, it is actually a HDB converted hotel with about 6 rooms, and my room had barely enough walking space, after 2 beds, 1 miserable cupboard are in place. Anyway will try to upload the pictures once I returned. Will try to keep all my "fans" updated...

Got to go to bed, got a busy day ahead.. And time check, it is 1 plus in the morning... SIGH

A new post until I returned from Hong Kong maybe on the 1st or 2nd or even the 3rd... whatever. Keep your sanity intact!!

A FEW GOOD WOMEN

IJ is planning to set up a new uniformed group known as the NCC. Whether it is land sea or air, it doesn’t really matter. I have seen enough from the little I saw from the other uniformed contingents; well it somehow already confirmed my suspicions; IJ girls are better dancing and singing and prancing around a la Singapore Idol. Nothing too disciplined or else they will melt like icky ice cream in the sun.

Meanwhile, as I was entertained and enlightened by Dilbert's many profound observations on life, the universe and everything, I can already envisaged many stomping IJ girls especially those in the uniformed groups all after my blood. Damn I may not get a greeting in unison from the ever sweet Girl Guides who are always trying to tie and untie poles to bricks. I am perplexed than ever about why young schoolchildren would want to spend a day or two each week, and more during the holidays, being tortured. Maybe it's all the masochists who join NCC, so they can perversely rejoice in their suffering, “Yes Madam!” “No Madam!”. Or maybe they're just channeling their innate and hormonal urges to play at being soldiers. In fact don’t get me wrong, I feel that your spirit is admirable, marching through the long hours in the sun, shouting kiri, kanan, and berhenti. I just realize that as the years go by, the qualities of the girls in terms of taking all these suffering seems to go down a little by little, very much like an exponential curve.

In an unmistakable Saturday morning, I was observing a small group of “pseudo soldiers” practicing drills. It sure bring back fond memories. However what really caught my attention was when the commander gave one command, the contingent took about 5 seconds ( yes 5, I did count with my hand holding the touhuai) to respond, and then to my horror, a couple of them turned in the wrong direction. Good gracious me! I am shocked at the lack of direction sense of the girls! Imagine this! A soldier to go to war and to bomb the neemy base at the LEFT of the map and this idiot actually move to the RIGHT thinking it is the LEFT!! I shuddered at the thought of leaving the defence of the country to this fellow, and I have the same response to the one girl who made a left turn instead of a right. YES it was DAMN obvious and DAMN embarrassing!!!

Anyway based on my experience with the REAL NCC training (READ: 2 and a half years in the ARMY), I am more perplexed than ever, why would anybody joined the NCC? In some ways, NCC is even more regimental than the SAF. When the cadets sit on the floor, they adopt a posture reminiscent of the lotus position, sitting cross-legged with straight backs and stretching both arms out to rest on their knees. They then have to ask their ICs permission to relax and adjust themselves or to drink water. Why the ICs don't give this permission every now and then as a matter of course, or just ask the superiors for carte blanche permission for the cadets to rest, is beyond me. Hell, even their eating is regimental! The ICs are also very fierce, even though they are the same rank as their men. Maybe it's all the vying for recognition so they can get promoted faster, or get the title of Best Trainee. Anyhow, everything can probably be summed up in one word: "discipline" (read: stupidity). Of course, they have their home, their parents, their siblings, a soft, fluffy bed and lots of soft toys waiting for them at the end of the day, and if worse comes to worst, they can always quit.

Anyway to help the school to recruit more gungho (Read again: stupid) Secondary Ones, I have decided to use some of the army recruitment posters. I tried to think of spoofs of each, but I didn't succeed. Results of my brainstorming below:

1) The mud on my face is soil, the IJ soil… Picture will show an IJ girl in the army uniform, going through an obstacle course, sweaty and of course showing the victory sign with mud on the face.

2) Who has the spirit?"... "Who has flagging spirits?". Picture will show IJ girls after a 40km route march (Read: window shopping from Takashimaya to Plaza Singapura and back - shagged, demoralised and close to exhaustion, but with loads of shopping bags.

3) "Who will keep us safe?" IJ girl, carrying the IJ praying bear, with a candle by the side. Stack of A maths homework and a teacher with stern eyes watching.

4) "Who has the motivation?" -> Picture will show the miserly allowance that IJ girls get every month. "You pay me peanuts, you get a monkey". What else can be added to show why IJ girls lack motivation?

Nonetheless, I conclude that girls who join NCC aren't very feminine. Trust me there is an old saying that 10% of the Singapore girls are ugly and they are all in the army.

(For the record, Mr Ng have nothing against the army or the NCC or even the uniform groups in IJ. He is praying very hard that he will not be made the Teacher in charge of any of the uniform groups for the next year as he is still blissfully happy in Track and Field. Nonetheless he also awaits “snipers” with their 2 cents worth of comments.)

Matrix Reloaded..


My narcissism had gone a level up...

Anyway things to do for the next few days before I leave for Hong Kong ...

1) Set the SS Mid Year 2005 paper
2) Set the History Mid Year 2005 paper
3) Think of ways to "torture" my form class next year. "What is in thy way... let me count thee...."

Toilet Break (Extended Disco Remix)

it is nice to hear, to say the least, that my return to blogging had been met with mixed reactions. There is a bug flying in my blog and it is giving people the worms. Anyway what do you expect from a blog which craps and write so much about shit?

One of my degenerate friends just emailed this to me:"You need to stop sabotaging your own image by constantly revealing your "psychosis potential" and "your lack of embarrassment" on issues which don't even remotely related to you."Heh, in the first place, regarding the image issue, my retort is "What image"? And the worst thing about the comment is that I don't even understand half the lexicons used and mostly I just refused to be bothered. SIMPLY BOCHUPZ I suppose...

Another day wasted at work. Well not to take the goodness of the day away-Today was a good day, because I spent most of it in conversation. About lots of things, with colleagues. Well it was mostly sharing from the colleagues. One thing I love about my current job, unashamedly; the people I'm around like to talk as well. If you are one that can fill up an empty with your one and only banter, congratulations this is the career for you. All teachers like to talk, if they don't they will be busy spending half a day explaining to you why not. Today I had my work review with my HOD. For the uninitated, this is kinda of like the Meet-the-Parents Sessions, with role exchange. My HOD was asking me my plans for the next year seeing that I have grossly underhit my target I have set the previous year. Being prudent, I set an even lower target for myself hoping that things will be much better next year. I did expressed my concern for the Sec 4s next year which I will be inheriting and my concerns about my Masters which I have been neglecting ( You don't see me bitching about the research right? Don't worry, it is coming....)

This morning, at an unearthly hour in the morning I was in school carrying out my responsibilities as a Liasion officer. A teacher came up to me and complained about some unhappiness she had regarding the comments of some Sec 4 leaving certificates. Anyway to keep the long story short it seems that the other teacher accused her of giving her the wrong instructions and thus got her in trouble with our Principal. She was really fuming mad and I was having great difficulties trying to concentrate on her complaints about the teacher. Well i was the one who told the staff to come look for me when they have complaint as I am now officially in the Staff Welfare Committee which served the duties of a customer service counter in a departmental store otherwise. Anyway this teacher repeated her grouses to (let me count) 3 other teachers clearly showing the qualities of a teacher to reiterate the information from 1 class to another.

Anyway today it was random disjoint some enthusiastic ranting about the Sec4 grad nite, and gossips. Talk. Talking, chitter, rant, gripe, bitch. It's the shit I *live* for. At least for this period of time when there are no students to entertain me....

Let's talk shit!

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto

I have decided to relaunch my blog with a whole lot of crap, coincidentally, literally. For the benefit of those less observant students/fanatic fans ( ie anti Slyvester anti beng people) it has been a long time since I have last bitched on the blog. Since then I have been quietly serving my dues in school as a security officer. I can't really divulge what my responsibilities are, for by doing so, I will have to kill you. Amidst all these shrouded in secrecy, I am extremely thankful for students for their lame comments and encouraging words to revive the blog again. For the appreciative students who flooded my tag board, send me words of encouragement through email and sms-es and friendster and yahoo messenger, I thank you all for your support. Much as things remain generally tentative, I am glad that things in school had been peaceful and plain-sailing to say the least.

We start the issue with shit, and more shit. Anyway for those who have never visit the toilet of the other gender, genderbenders like Olinda look-alike need not apply, there is a certain structural difference between the male and the female toilets. In case you are wondering why is it that I am so well versed in the toilets of the sexes, it is because IJ male toilet in the old school was converted from a female one. (So what were you people thinking? you sick people!) Guy toilet had a space domey looking thing called the urinal. Actually a row of them that is placed at a convenient height for you to aim. Guys do busineses, be it big or small in timing varing for a couple of seconds to a couple of minutes. Ladies do theirs in like quarters of hours to like hours. Well on top of that each lady had their little private pj or ps cubicles with doors. I also seriously think that Ladies rooms have couches, wall to wall make-up mirrors and probably a coffee bar in there too! But then again for the gals, they need to be in certain stages of undress whereas for guys we just do our thing uh hem. However I'd like to try and clear something up...the addition of urinals in men's restrooms means that we have twice the options.

Another peculiar phenomenon is the herd mentality you see in ladies or girls. I notice it as a teacher teaching in a premier girl school. It is as if there is a social gathering in the toilet, with foie gras and prawn sandwiches and cutesy cups of fine English tea. What I mean is that there seems to be a synchronized wee-wee pattern that one got to go, the rest automatically have to go. This is again seen a few days back when a good 5 ladies from a table near mine when we were having the gala dinner a few night back stand up almost in sync and of course marching together to the toilet. Could you imagine a guy saying to another guy at a table where some couples are eating together: "I'm going to the men's room, anyone want to come with me?" - Never happen, yet I've seen women do that constantly. It is as though they have other agenda other than clearing waste.

In fact just a bit of the statistics, a total of $4.8 million dollars will be flushed down the toilets so that they have better ventilation (no walls like the zoo loo?), designer tiles (what the heck are these?), and piped-in music (environmental sounds of waterfalls and monsoon rain in the forest?). Perhaps there will be subliminal messages of "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be sweet and wipe the seat!" in all four official languages and Hokkien. The aim? To quote the article, "With better toilets, the ministry hopes that people would think twice before dirtying them." Hmm, along the same lines that the HDB upgrading programme will encourage heartlanders not to throw flowerpots from ledges, leave junk in common corridors, or use lifts as public toilets?

In my opinion, the hall-of-fame quote belonged to Mr Wang Nan Chee (notice W 'n' C?), head of the Public Toilets Steering Committee (something to list at the top of a resume), 'People should be able to enjoy some time in public toilets, not have to rush in and rush out... I hope one day we will have wedding couples taking photographs in the toilet. Then, I will say, we have arrived.' (Where he's heading, I'm not going!)

Not rush into the loo when the tide is critically high? I think not. As for taking the time and doing tai-chi in the cubicle: has he seen the queues that form outside the Ladies' loos at cinema halls? It's like 'Flash Dance' all over again with high heels clicking, bodies jiggling, and faces sweating!

As for wedding photos in toilets, come on folks, contribute your comments... my mind is exploding like fireworks. Do you see couples and their photographers making a mass exodus from the Botanic Gardens or Alkaff Mansion and lining up outside the top 10 loos in Singapore? (And we all know what happens in long queues in Singapore, don't we?)

Now, Mr Looh, I want you to hold the hot tap... Mrs Looh, please hold the cold tap... twist a bit... the tap, lah! You can go dancing later! OK, hold it... Very good!
Mr Looh, please sit on the toilet... no, lah, no need to put paper first... not enough time! So many people waiting outside! Mrs Looh, you sit on your hubby's lap... press the lever together and smile? Beautiful.
Now Mr Looh, you go stand by the urinal... aiyah, up to you whether to unzip or not, lah! Mrs Looh you sit down and look up admiringly at your hubby...
Yes, sounds like fun. Anyone want to take up a new niche in wedding photography? It's called 'Flush Photography'.

Anyway to end off today article, I should share with all certain euphemism on the different stuff that can be done in the toilet. And of course Quickie is not one of them..

Have loads of crapping fun!

Urination
Freshen my Snapple
A French whistle
Breaking the seal
Change water on the goldfish
Draining the dragon
Draining the main vein
Draining the radiator
Draining the one-eyed monster
Draining down the system
Go pee pee
Going to water my horse
Leak the lizard
Lower the water level
Number one
Pass water
Piddle (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
Pit stop
Pointing Percy at the porcelain
Punish the porcelain
Release the pressure
Refresh the body
Relieve yourself
Seeing a man about a dog (or a horse)
Shaking hands with the vicar
Shaking the dew off the lily
Siphon the python
Sprinkle
Tinkle
Steering Stanley to the stainless steel
Syphon the python
Taking a leak
Taking a pee
Taking a piss (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
Taking a slash
Taking a whiz
Training Thomas on the terracotta
Twinkle
Visit Uncle Charley
Void my bladder
Going to walk my snake
Write my name in the water

Defecation
Doing some spring cleaning
Back one out
Blasting a dookie
Cutting rope
Dropping anchor
Dropping the weights
Dropping a bomb
Dropping a deuce
Dropping a hoopsnake
Dropping bass ("base" as in the opposite of treble. Not the fish.)
Dropping some friends off at the pool
Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
Dropping the kids off at school
Feeding the seagulls (politer version of "Feeding the shitehawks")
Filling the bowl
Giving birth
Going poop
Launching torpedoes
Laying a cable
Laying a turd
Lose some weight (Also used in urination)
Making logs (or a log)
Making waves
Makin' bears
Number two
Pebble-dashing the porcelain
Pinching off a loaf
Pinching a yam
Taking a brew
Taking a crap
Taking a dump
Taking a shit (a coarse expression, not a euphemism)
Unloading a batch of cigars

Flatulence / Farting
Anal thunder
Ass-music
Beef-cloud
Blow a big one
Blow off
Botty burp
Break wind
Bull snort
Bust ass
Choke a donkey
Cut the cheese
Drop one's guts (as in "Who dropped their guts?")
Erupting the anal volcano
Grunt (as in "Who grunted?")
Launching a growler
Let off a howler
Let off a stinker
Let 'er rip
Man Queef (Extremely vulgar)
Number four
Pass gas
Pass wind
Dirty bomb
Trouser cough

Vomiting
Barfing
Blowing chunks
Date Porcelain Patty
Driving the porcelain bus
Feed the fish (when seasick)
Food Escape!
Hurling
Make like Mount St. Helens
Number three
Paint the sidewalk
Regurgitate
Revisit dinner
Park the tiger
Puking
Snow bank pizza
Spewing
Spraying McDonalds (as in "Did somebody spray McDonalds?")
Calling Huey (or Ralph) on the big white phone
Talking to the porcelain telephone
Talking to the weeds
Technicolour yawn
Un-eat
Upchuck
Yakking
Yorxing
Throwing up
Jason Pollock
Make a hideous jiffy bag

A Swansong.....

I suddenly lost the interest to write my blog. Calll it really depressing, but alot of things have happened over the past week. I guess this will be the last entry for the month of October or even for the year 2004.

It took me great thoughts to draft out this blog entry. I appreciate the calls for me to be upbeat again. The results are out, we are having a promotion meeting today. Not that it is a big issue, all my girls get promoted anyway (hooray!! There will only 2 classes which have 100% no problem and 3/4 is one of them) everything remains the same, all of them promoted to 4/4 2005 and maybe the seating arrangement will be the same, the familiar "neighbours" and maybe even the class committee will be the same....

The reason why I am so disinterested in the class recently is not because i am irresponsible or what and it is also not that I am bochup but rather I feel that I will have this really sickening sinking feeling if I continue to be so close to all of you. I feel the need to be detached at times, so that it will not "hurt" so much. Ha ha but look at it from the bright side, you will still be the 100% refractory class and most probably you will still going to make your new form teacher, whoever that may be, 100% refractory.

Anyway I should take this opportunity to congratulate my class for getting 1st runner-ups in the rugby carnival, bruised bodies, bloodied lips, broken teeth if any...

I do not know your thoughts about this, but I sincerely hope we close this chapter with a bang. It has been a helluva year and it was great working with you people, even if you people can be SO....
1) extremely DIRTY, with socks, tissues and rubbish strewn all over the place, and I have not even talk about the mind.
2) overly AFFECTIONATE, with your gifts and class spirit and your songs and your generous dosage of enthusiasm.
3) extremely DEFIANT at times, to other teachers I mean. In fact even bordering to the point of rudeness, but never to me :P
4) overly ON THE BALL, with the extra practices, the extra banners, the extra effort
5) overly REFRACTORY, what can I say, a class of mixed talents who work well with each other.

With all these, I will cease activity in my blog. Hopefully I can find the zest to write about things in the new term of 2005. Thank you for all your loyal patronage, it was not easy to get 5000 over hits since "opening shop". Guess to look at the random thoughts of the teacher especially one who offers his 2 cents worth is exciting to say the least huh?? :P

Anyway to all the girls, Failure is just a journey to success. Be strong and continue o work hard, one day you will reap the benefits.

Take care! Study hard and don't forget to play hard too...

Today

Today is good old monday, the start of a working week. I have quite an enjoyable weekend, went to play beach volleyball at East Coast Park, absorbing negative ions, breathing in the salty air, feeling the sea breeze.

Today is also the start of the last academic week before the holidays. The last week I will be seeing my form class. Is it me or is it that I feel that I am getting more and more detached from them? Could be a good thing for me, or it could be bad? Seriously t go up to class and see that the class seems to be a bit "bochup", so aloof. I wonder.

Today's post just don't seems to make any sense as always.

"High" by Lighthouse family

When you're close to tears, remember
Someday it will all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
And though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high
And at The end of the day
We'll remember the day
When we were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at The end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close till the end
We'll remember it was me and you
We're gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me
Flying high in the sky of love
Don't you think it's time we started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible is easy
When we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high
And at The end of the day
We'll remember the day
When we were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And atThe end of the day we'll remember the way
We stayed so close till the end.

Teh Tarik

the results are coming thick and fast.
not that i have anything to complain about
just that the girls in my class seems to be desensitised
it seems to some that it is one bad result after another, one more justification to make to the their parents.
Was it really that bad...? I guess so. And I can see they are just waiting for the time and the paper to pass, for the report book to be passed to them and endure the earful for a couple of weeks and to get out totally from the agony they are facing now.
I am busy monitoring, who may not clear the exams, I am keeping my fingers crossed.

In case you are wondering why I have not been in really good mood these two days, it was because of a couple of things that has happened, and of course my precious class is involved in some way or another. Nothing bad, just upsetting.

Teh O and Kopi SU SU and MILO

it is so difficult to write remarks about the girls. It is like you have to praise andlike subjective statements about them when u really don't mean it :P

Anyway I agree that everything about the exams was bad , the results, and of course the "stupid" efficiency of the teachers who seem to have no life and can actually return the A maths papers at record4 days of markings. And for those jokers who missed today thinking that it would be a walk in the park, a stroll in the garden or a crawl in the nursery, well you would be rudely shocked to know that by tomorrow, you will have another 4 papers coming in. Talk about PROFESSIONALISM AND EFFICIENCY! 3 cheers for IJ teachers!!

I am now listening to random tracks on my music jukebox ( currently playing Drowning Pool ' Let the bodies hit the floor") , while trying to compose remarks and as usually I am doing things that I am not supposed to do. Just came back from Track and Field and of course a nice leisure coffee break with some ex girls at StarBucks. Maybe what Jess W said was right, EDIT: Mr Ng... Yeah, it does suck, but hey, it's really been a nice year, and it's nice to know you care ^^, it has been a blast, a different class, a refractory class, a different attitude and of course a different mentality. What can I say, i have learnt as much from you people and hope that you have learnt stuff from me. it is time to move on and part ways..... but as I say it really suck.......

Now playing Eminem "Without me"........

TEH O and KOPI SU SU

it seems kinda of weird to be back infront of 3/4 and starts to communicate with them again. It seems like we have not have these type of conversation for a long long time. Not that it was any form of conversation but rather a monologue, the harbinger of bad news. Well not all news were bad, at least the class won the coverted Global Citizenry Award for term 4. Way to go!! As for the bad news, they were so bad that I can see that the class have lost their "chirpy"ness. Come on, it is not so bad, the only thing that you have to face will be your parents and always remember your parents love you, and even if they choose to express it in any form of action, please still remember it is still love.

It wasn't easy to be standing in front of a class who I have thought I will be taking them to their Os and finally see them graduate and of course see them in their prom dresses during grad nite. Now it seems they are disappearing right before my eyes. I could feel the bochupness in my bones and my skin; it seems that the faces in front of me will get blurrer and blurrer. It is a weird sinking feeling. IT SUCKS, IT REALLY SUCKS BIG TIME...

Silence

My work officially starts today. Well actually it started when I carried 8 piles worth of SS papers painstakingly written by the students. Well I guess the urgency finally settled in as I am now overwhelmed with the SS marking, History markings and congrats the Add maths marking.

Is it me or is it the time of the year when the end of the papers and the giving out of report books meant that it is the end of the relationship with the class? The end of the year is usually a mad rush, so rushed that when you realsed it, the girls are on holidays, you are on holiday and then you are with a new set of students new set of form class and most importantly new set of feelings and expected. I need some solace and peace.

Currently listening to Jay Chou " An jing' or "Silence"

Behold Bidore!!

Just came back from my trip to Bidore, With Miss Tan, Jacinta and Felicia. Great Trip. Attached are the pictures from the trip. No time and the stupid Blogger refused to let me create a good looking link

http://photos.yahoo.com/alecng74

According to my mum yesterday, today is my lunar birthday.

If today represents the birth of me about 30 years back, i shuddered to think if it is going to be a representation of what is about to happen for the next 30 years or more. It is a helluva day, running to classes to classes, I could smell the sweat on my shirt. Starting with A Maths, and followed by Social Studies, then A Maths then Social Studies again, 8 periods altogether. I am so glad I have survived this ordeal.

I am really not t
hhhhhhhhhhhhh
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
ggggggggggggggggg

ssssssssssssssssssssss
tttttttttttttttttttttttttt
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
gggggggggggggggggggg
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I need a rest........................

I See IC

I am getting a big present for my birthday, a new IC.

For the ignoramus ( or hippotamus, or hippotamus"es" plural), this meant that I have reached the golden number of 30. As required by law, a citizen at the age of 30 ( not 40, or 50 or even for the record, 34 years and 2 months) have to make a new IC to reflect his/her new look ( balding or frizzly hairdo, plump or aneroxic, glasses or san glasses). This is to make sure that if you are somehow caught of doing something bad/evil/nasty/angelic and they have to submit a picture of you, they will not be using the one that you have taken when you were in JC 1. I hated my picture in the IC; in fact I have accidently showed it to a couple of ex girls before and they liken it as reading Stephen King "Pet Sematary", not that it was THAT scary, but it is just that the ancient look with the bifocals was alittle 1980s ( anyway that was what it was supposed to be, what do you expect, 1960s, I am not that darn old)

Anyway the IC will be with you until the day you see GOD. That will be when the hospital will punch a hole through your IC and certify that you have expired your stay as a citizen of Singapore. Nothing really morbid about it, just that I guess every birthday passed is just a step closer. But most importantly, you must live life to the fullest. The greatest regret is when your life flashes past you, and you realise that you have done nothing significant in your life. I think that will be even more horrific than dying.

Talking about dying, I caught the movie "Vertical Limit" on Channel 5 yesterday evening. Anyway I got the DVD of the movie but I was still religiously and faithfully sitting in front of the TV set , with the commericals and such. I think what struck me most while, was the persistence and the passion he had, and I am not talking about Chris O Donnell but me. Hey I could have easily switched to watch the DVD and save my time going through those repeats of "Singapore Idol' commericals and trailers from the "Bachelorette", and of course the Carlsberg beer advertisments. I realise the most important thing that I learn from the show was the strong belief that Chris O Donnell has to save his sister, to conquer his fear and phobia of climbing. To send 6 men to save 3 was suicidal and to return with only 3 is certainly not cost effective. But then again that was what I mean by living life to the fullest, although the people died, they died for a good cause, for it was really in doing the act of rescue, that they finally did something about their lives. Dying in the middle of an avalanche, is definitely a no-no when it come to ways to die...

Anyway, forget about the morbid stuff. A couple of blog readers ( yes outsiders and not present IJ girls) asked me what I would like for my birthday. Well here is a simple wishlist. ( I hope my wife is reading)

1) A cool looking haversack for me to carry my markings and other stuff (preferrably deuter)
2) A BMW Series 3 metalic grey car which costs S$112,000 ( It doesn't hurt to dream a little)
3) A romantic dinner with my wife at Equinox
4) A romantic getaway to Bintan over the weekend
5) A nice birthday cake ( blackforest my favorite)
6) A couple more teachers to go for the mission trip with 3/4
7) The mission trip can go on as planned.... ( cross fingers)
8) The book "The Dictators: Hitler's Germany, Stalin's Russia" by Richard Overy
9) Series 4-10 of Friends ( Sigh! not available yet)
10) Peace and Quiet on my birthday.

I think that with my age, I think I treasure point 10 the most...

And that is my 2 cents worth.

Lazy Sunday
It is the start of the week, or the end of the weekend. As I looked back and reflected on what I have done for the whole saturday early Sunday morning. I realise that there was really nothing I have done.

Attended a wedding dinner with my wife, a cousin's wedding, her cousin's wedding. Somebody I don't even know. I had to go as usual, the family thingy and of course her grandmom, who I have never met, has flown from Australia specially for this. She would like to see her handsome, charming grandson-in-law. ( well I added the adjectives myself, so that I can convince my subconscious that it is absolutely necessary for me to go)

It was at the Dragon Gate Restaurant situated at Lobby C of the Harbour Front ( former known as the WTC), and you would be surpised that it is situated right at the fourth storey amidst all the office spaces. But then again, that was not the crucial point. The crucial point was the small talk on babies. Yah the dreaded "B" word again. "So when is your turn?", "Why your tummy is so small? No Babies", (with that they threw a glance a my wife's tummy, even though mine looks more convincing as someone who is pregnant.), "Why no babies, not trying hard enough?" ( I should spare the under 21 the explicit details, but what was the connotation about, Me not enough sperms or She not enough ovaries?)

It was dreadful sitting through a 2 hour plus dinner when I could have a) mark the A maths test paper, b) what the "Xi Yuan Lu 2" on Channel U since that was the finale, c)Complet the editing of the exam papers or d)enjoy the baby making process. All the 4 choices seems more exciting that the very one non-choice I am bearing with. To make things worse, my rumbling stomach was screaming for food and dinner was yet again lately served at around 8.45pm. You shoudl have seen how the guests wolfed down the food and eyed the dishes like vultures when the newly weds were doing their i) march in, ii) cutting of the cake, iii) popping the champagne, iv) "yam seng"ing etc etc. A hungry man is an angry man no matter what joyous occasion he is in.

The whole feel of the dinner was also not helped by an elderly auntie waitress who seems as equally unwilling as me to be there at the dinner. From the way she served and growled at the diners to finish their food and put their dirty crockery at the centre of the table to facilitate clearing reminded me of some autocratic parents screaming at their 3 year olds at the food courts or other public places.

In my table were a couple of supposedly close relatives who I was supposed to know as they had supposedly attended my wedding dinner. I was frantically trying to remember who they are and could only muster a feebly smile. Who the hell are they? Half way throughthe dinner and I was already thinking of going off. But as always being the nice person that I am I decided to stay through. (the dessert was my favourite)

Any idea why I am blogging when I actually turn on the comp to start doing some serious work.. Argh... GOD HELP ME!!

The sickening thing about weekends is that We have to work to the end of the week to get it. And even so, We still have to work our socks out during the weekend to get our work done. We can't let our hair down ( not that I have alot of them) to enjoy a peaceful, relaxing weekend with our family. Talking about that, I could not remember when was the last time I had spoken to my mum, you know mother-son sharing. Was it last saturday or friday... hm... Anyway I am about to leave home to go for a workshop at ACS Barker, some sharing thingy which I am utterly reluctant to go. Come mon, my examinations papers are still in reds and shreds ( ie read last entry of blog) and I haven't been spending quality time with my family. IN fact my wife and myself seems to be living in two time zones. You see she is currently in between jobs and is having a field day being a housewife. Which means that she is busy at home doing housework and planning for her new job whatever it is) She will be out in the evening where I willbe at home slogging and marking papers or doing the flavour of the month, setting exam papers. Likewise when I "shut down" for the day say about 12 plus, she will be back and she will be doing stuff of her own till maybe 2-3 in the morning. When I wake up to start the new day, she will be still asleep...Hm,this is seriously not healthy for our relationship, certainly not conducive to make babies. But then again, the government are great at planning, it is just that they never see the nitty gritty of the execution part.

Ripped these from the net again.... Pretty funny

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)

• Do You Love As Good As You Look?
• Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
• Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
• Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
• Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
• How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
• Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
• I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
• I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
• I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
• I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
• I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
• I Wanna Whip Your Cow
• I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell
• Yuck! I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
• I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
• I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
• I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
• I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting
• In Your Welfare Line - If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
• If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
• If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
• If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else who Will
• If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
• Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
• May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
• My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
• My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
• My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
• My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
• Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
• Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
• She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
• She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
• She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
• Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
• They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
• Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
• When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
• You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
• You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
• You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
• You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
• You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

And that's my two cents worth.

This is going to be a pretty and dumb post. If you don't get what I mean at the end of the post, I guess you can get rid of the "and" between the words "pretty" and "dumb".

Random#1
I am officially on Friendster. Congrats to me...
Not that I really wanted too. Was invited by my 4/3 girls 2004. Thanks! Now I know how ancient I am.
Have you realised that how small the world is? Friendster sure show me that.. I had a student who is the cousin of my good buddies during my honours day. I have a student in my form class who happen to be the cousin of a friend I used to attend art lessons. Not that I am really that eager to meet him, in circumstances that I have to meet up with him for tea and financial planning, but then again, that will be a good way to find out about how he is. Guess it makes sense (or cents)

Random #2
I realise that the teachers are officially on Alert Red Stressed Panic Mode. It is quite obvious when the staffroom is devoid of human activity by around 3 which is still fairly early considering the longhours that teachers do work. I am still in the midst of setting my SS papers and I have to say the signs are not good. It was returned to me in brutal slashes of red, with arrows and asterisks which seems to make no sense to me. The last time I have seen my work being so closely and BLOODY criticised was my Sec 3 composition when I argued so rhetoically about the importance of exercise ( not that I am doing anything about it) I just felt really pissed about things today. And I am sure that I feel a lot better when I visit 3/4 and 3/2 for A maths. Thanks girls. I guess the reason why I am not so uptight about some stuff is perhaps I know my priorities in life, and I sure know how to be a better person than some. Maybe it is my pride at stake, maybe it is just that I am pissed with things. Damn sometimes I just hate the school with the politics. No offence.

Random #3
I still can't believe that I bought "Enemy at the Gates" from Amazon.com just to show 10 minutes to my students. What a great teacher I am though I am like US 25 poorer. And what was I thinking of when I did the impulse buying of the movie "Stalingrad" which coincidently is still in shrink wrapped form on my DVD collection shelf.

Random #4
My birthday is coming. Damn this is going to be the worst birthday ever. Change of IC, and the constant nagging about kids again. What should I wish for? World Peace?


Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

Mission: Tripped

Congrats to me..
I finally got the approval of the Principal for a mission trip, and guess what I will be bringing my class to really rough it out. Yeah! Had a meeting with Ms Tan and Jacinta who is going to be the volunteer coordinator for the trip. What was really gratifying to know was that the Ms Tan was so full of praises with 3/4 and she feel that they are the best class for the mission trip, nurturing the future leaders she said.

Anyway, while lunging the 8 to 9 piles of marking back home, I am pretty excited about it though the thought of all the logistic, in the midst of my marking etc is already sending chills down my spine. So what if we are going to Bidore to a Orang Asli settlement which is in Malaysia ( for your information, it is in between Kuala Lumpur and Ipoh) instead of Chiang Mai, and so what if we are now going on a one week trip from 17th to 23rd November 2004 ( Teachers are expected to attend the gala Dinner on 15 November 2004) instead of a mere 5 days. But I am sure the experience will be enriching. It is a Christian settlement and most importantly, we will really be getting to know about the lives of others especially those who are less fortunate than us. Short of basic amenities but strong in spirit of sharing and care and concern, it will be really an eye opener. I heard so much from Jacinta and in fact I will be going down to the settlement to have a look on the 9th October 2004.

Let's see how the class respond....

Five reasons why Bush is like Hitler

Ripped this off the net. <http://www.bearstrong.net/peoplesblog/000581.html> Really funny, especially for the girls who are doing History.. Hope it made sense...

Whenever anyone brings up the dark historical antecedents for the behavior of George W. Bush, such as the similarities between neo-conservatism and nazism, imperialism and zionism, the pro-American thought police strikes back with intricate shock and awe campaigns. The intent is to confuse the public and frighten critics back in line, a tactic otherwise known as FUD - Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. The more clever ones invoke something called "Godwin's law", which says that the moment you compare someone to Hitler in a debate, the debate is over. The motive is obvious, to stifle debate and criticism, and the method eerily reminiscent of Orwell's 1984. It works because what most people know about history is no more than what Hollywood taught them - and we all know who controls Hollywood.

But it doesn't take much education to escape the claws of conventional wisdom. Despite all the pompous huffing and puffing of pro-Americans whenever anyone mentions George W. Bush and Adolf Hitler in the same sentence, there are at least five obvious similarities between the two leaders:

1. Both orchestrated attacks on high-profile targets and put the blame on scary "others". Hitler burned down the Reichstag and blamed it on the Communists. Bush ordered Mossad to crash into the World Trade Center and Pentagon, and blamed it on the Muslims. (Possibly he also intended to destroy the Congress building, in an eery parallell to the Reichstag fire.) The result: A terrified population rallies behind their leader, eagerly applauding any new measure he sees fit to introduce against his new "enemy".

2. Both interned their political enemies in concentration camps. Hitler's Dachau was the first of many. So, no doubt, is Bush's Camp X-Ray on Guantanamo. It's difficult to look at the images of Afghan civilians in orange uniforms walk around with bags over their heads, on what is no doubt illegally occupied Cuban soil, and not be reminded of the horrible scenes we all remember from Treblinka and Auschwitz. (It is true that these were extermination camps, not concentration camps, but how much do we really know of what goes on behind the walls in Camp X-Ray?)

3. Both launched unilateral, aggressive and supposedly "preemptive" wars against weaker countries. Ignoring the protests of all civilized European powers, Hitler and his henchman Mussolini invaded most of Western Europe, Eastern Europe and Northern Africa. Bush and his henchman Blair are similarly off to a good start with Afghanistan and Iraq, again ignoring the protests of all civilized European powers.

4. Both massacred civilians by the millions. We all know that Hitler killed several million Jews, Gypsies and other "inferior" peoples. Surely Bush hasn't gone that far yet? But as Noam Chomsky pointed out in October 2001, the Afghan war was nothing less than a silent genocide:
Western civilization is anticipating the slaughter of, well do the arithmetic, 3-4 million people or something like that. .. Looks like what?s happening is some sort of silent genocide. .. Plans are being made and programs implemented on the assumption that they may lead to the death of several million people in the next couple of weeks... very casually with no comment, no particular thought about it, that?s just kind of normal, here and in a good part of Europe.
It can't be said much clearer than that. I don't think the figures are in yet about the number of victims of the war in Afghanistan, but this can only be a reflection of the amount of work it is to count 3-4 million corpses. And considering that this was Bush's first war, while Hitler's genocide didn't get started for a few more years, we can be sure that the pupil will overdo the master in no time.

5. Both were Christians. This point is usually overlooked when historians analyze the Nazi origins of neo-conservatism, but it can hardly be a coincidence that both leaders were motivated by the same, essentially racist, breed of religious fundamentalism. When God is on your side, ("Gott mit uns" vs "May God continue to bless America"), who needs the UN, or the League of Nations?

But to be fair there are also several ways in which Bush is not like Hitler:
1. Hitler was elected.
2. Hitler rebuilt the German economy.
3. Hitler was an artist. (Bush can't even write his own bad poems)
4. Hitler was not an alcoholic.
5. Hitler was a gifted speaker.

So perhaps the comparison is unfair. But it does provide us with several important insights into how Bush thinks, and what he plans to do after he steals the next election. So don't let the neo-cons steal the initiative - spread the meme: Bush = Hitler.

A Break

Before you knew it, it is already the term holidays. Term3 had passed by like a flash.

What are my plans for the week. A weel deserved break?? Nah... Got tons of stuff to do. Was having my Masters lessons at the British Council from 1.30 to 5.00 pm, great way to spend your weekend and of course will be spending Monday and Tuesday at the British Council for lessons again. Supposed to go down on Wednesday too but really have to catch up with the syllabus with the Sec 3 A Maths classes. Thursday, Friday and Saturday will be the annual Staff Seminar and of course before we knew it, the holidays had ended. Damn don't teachers ever get a rest??

Went with my girls for the Army Open House on Friday. I had to admit that I was really reluctant to go. Come on, i had dedicated two and a half years of my life to get myself acquainted with the uniforms, the environment and most importantly the shitty stuff which I had to go through and on top of that, I have to go to serve the army every year, like a yearly PMS. But then again going with my form class was a different issue all the way. I now understand why ios it that parents enjoyed going to zoos and places of interest with their kids, seeing them smile and getting so excited about it, that they keep talking and talking about it... well the feeling was priceless. (My paternal instinct had heightened as a result of the trip.... hm...) It was great that if I actually have the opportuntity to teach the girls the dance moves for the song "Hey Baby", now to have the whole class singing it and dancing to the moves like a anthem and a class cheer, now that's cool.

As a longwinded "parent", I have to again remind my classes to start studying for the exams. And this applies specially to my 3/4 girls 2004, you know that there is not much time left, so better start studying...