(un)Break my heart
Here I am on a sunday afternoon, writing a blog
I guess this had become a way of releasing my stress and feeling about things around me
I am currently overloaded with work.. my paper which is a 5000 word thesis is due in 1 month and 3 weeks time. *sigh* The Sri Lanka fieldtrip which is still tentative with the number of girls going *sigh sigh*, my marking that is piling up *sigh sigh sigh* and my lessons to the classes which I have to teach them all the skill to be prepare for the exams *sigh sigh sigh sigh*. Guess this is quite a miserable Sunday for me :(
Spend the whole saturday at IJ St Raphael Staffroom setting the Add Maths paper with Mr Chan. The old man did not visit us, maybe we are too stressed to notice anyway. I must say I am really impressed with the end product. We should be expecting at least 50% casualties in the Add Maths exams. Later went out for dinner with Ms Yap just to catch up on some gossips. I shared with them the Add maths remedial I had as we tuck ourselves with the wonderful bak kut Teh opposite Balestier Plaza. Ms Yap was in her usual dazed mode, she kept complaining about the headache she had, must have been the setting of the Chem paper that is causing that. Mr Chan was still coughing and sneezing all the way and we might fall sick on monday *Hoorah no school!! :P*
Looking back at this past week, I felt a tinge of sadness when my good intentions is miscontrued as bad ones. I have always enjoyed a wonderful bond with my previous form class and I always want to do so with my present lot. I guess I have been too "pal-ly" with them and they seems to be more and more boisterious in class. Is it my fault? Hm maybe , Mr Eric Tan once joked that the form class will take over the character of the form teacher. I laughed then but now I am seeing some truth in it. 4/3 2003 was a nice class, a wonderful class but was a under achiever. I blamed it on myself that I was not able to make the class achieve what they were supposed to attain in the examinations and this was my biggest regrets. I am very worried that 3/4 2004 is moving along the same path as 4/3 2003. Is it a sign that for their own good I should give up the class next year? I reckon so. It is sad but I think I should be more concerned about their welfare rather than my own selfish intentions; I am someone who is quite resistant to change and I guess that continuity was a way for me to be comfortable. But I guess this had to change.
As for blogging, I realise that alot of the girls are uncomfortable with the fact that I am looking at their blogs. I believe that there is a lack of privacy. I fully understand that. I will announce to the class that I will not read their blogs anymore. I guess young people need that form of privacy, and that avenue of expression for their frustrations.
Sorry for those who read my blogs and finds it extremely depressing today. I guess this is just my two cents worth of comments