The One with the letter to Vernice

Dear daughter Vernice,

It seems like yesterday that we met each other through the sonogram of the gynae’s office. And there you were barely centimeters long. At that time I marvel at the miracle of life, of something so beautiful. As I see you growing, the pride and anticipation grows. In another few day, my months of anticipation will finally come to a close. I will be able to touch your little fingers and toes and cuddle you in my arms.

As you learn to talk, and walk; and as you starts to show your happiness and frustrations through your emotions and actions, I will be there to witness those magical moments. Sometimes I may not be there to witness that, but rest assured that I will always be a part of your growing process.

Before you come to our family, I just want to tell you how thankful I am to have you in my family. I am sure that you will bring countless joys and happiness to the family.

I must say that I ,like all kia su parents, have so much hope and aspirations. The world you are coming to is one that is full of excitement and expectations. As a daddy I have so much big plans for you. And I know that you would feel that you have this heavy weight of our expectations on you. I want you to share my values, and to do things that I have never been able to do.

But thinking back, I was wondering whether I have been trying to fulfil some childhood dreams in you. I see a part of me in you and I wonder if it would be fair to you. You are going to be different and unique, but most importantly you are going to be you. I realized that I want you to grow up to be happy, to be confident and to be the person you are always meant to be.

Sometimes, amidst all my expectations of you, I asked myself whether I would be a good father to you. I asked myself whether I would be able to live up to your expectations. Will I be too busy to watch your first step, to hear you mouth your first words, to go to your school and watch your first school performance; will I be too stressed out to forget about your birthday, to attend your graduation, to go for the parent teachers dialogue; will I be too tired out to help you with your school projects and assignments, to help you in your revisions, to hear you out on your tiffs with your classmates and to answer your neverending inquisitive queries; will I be too tied up with work to bring you to the zoo or parks or to build sandcastles on the beaches?

Somewhere down the road, I may do things that you will feel that I don’t love you anymore. Sometime you may do things that will make me upset with you. But do remember that just like you who is first time growing up and me first time daddy, we both have some learning and adjusting to do. It would be a wonderful journey for you and me that I can’t wait to embark.

You are my precious and I will always love you.

Yours Lovingly,
Daddy