Monday, May 31, 2004


I used to have a close friend, she was my senior in NJC, a nice girl. Our relationship was purely platonic, but I always find myself drawn to her. For a guy who was the eldest in the family and someone who always have to shoulder all the expectations, to really have someone who was a big sister to me was a refreshing change. She will always be there when I needed her, she tutored me in my Maths in JC, so that I could at least pass it; she would be my listening ear, when I was down with problems. At the same time I find myself being a constant companion to her, I tried to be a good brother. This relationship went on for years in fact almost 10 years. How time flies!

As we move on to our lives; we began to be buried by our work. You got married and I found my loved one. Our gatherings got lesser and lesser, replaced by the inanimated SMS and email. Our conversations seem to get shorter and lesser, more and more superficial. When we move on in our various phases of life, our perceptions had changed. When you decided to marry your husband, I objected violently; more to the fact that I was worried about losing my sister. I can still visualise the moment when we hugged during your wedding dinner, that I realised how childish I was and youwould always be my big jie jie, there to protect me, and there to care for me. However, over the years, we had arguments and we saw things differently. Nonetheless, we choose to ignore the differences; however deep inside us we knew that we were no longer the same persons we were.

It was sad to receive news via email about your plans for migration. As a "brother" for the past 12 years, I may have expected something more than that. It could also be an indication that deep inside your heart, I may no longer mean that much to you. do you still remember the time when we just talked over the phone for hours, sharing our dreams, our troubles and almost everything under the sun? I still remember those special moments... but things are all in the past now.

Now that you have decided to embark on another phase of your life, I can only wish you well. Perhaps you leaving is also an indication that I shoudl also move on with my life. But to let it go is to let a small part of me fade away, to wither away. You always have a special place in my heart.

Bye Sis and take care!

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