Queue the Singaporean Way
Before I start my nonsensical ramblings, I would like to thank 3/1 for providing such a funny inspiration for me to write the following entry.

What is it with Singaporeans and queues? Singaporeans queue for the most trivial of things (e.g. said cat, condominiums, free gifts) but don't for the most civil (e.g. the bus, and the MRT). You have to wonder if we have our priorities straight. Does lining up for four or more hours make the prize so much more rewarding? But then again, I personally find greater pleasure in getting my food early, satisfying my hunger and watching people line up for their food from where I sit!

A couple of years back when there was this craze for Hello Kitty Dolls given out with a extra value meals, the queues for the white, dot-eyed, mouthless one have to be seen to be believed! I grinned when I saw the snaking line outside the YMCA at Stamford Road. But I almost fell off my seat when I saw the queue at Centrepoint. It had obviously started at the fast food restaurant but had made its way through the underpass and was twisting and turning towards Somerset Road! I have had a personal account from an ex-student of mine who joined the masses at 6 am and managed to claim her reward at 10 am ( yes of course missing lessons!) . A cat could go through eight of its nine lives in that time!

A passing tourist might think that McDonald's had just landed here and sua-koo locals were rushing to get a taste of some hallowed burger. (That or there is a food shortage in conjunction with the Civil Defence exercise!) Someone on the tourism board should take advantage of this and tout the phenomenon as a tourist attraction... Come see the eighth wonder (or blunder) of the world! Correctly guess how many people are in the queue and win an exclusive Hello Kitty wearing an "I saw the Hello Kitty queue" T-shirt. There are dozens to collect. Collect them all and put them one behind the other so that they form the longest line possible! If you form the longest line, you get a free McDonald's meal voucher for you and your cats or you can choose a movie ticket to watch "Super Size ME". (Conditions apply. Valid for use on Thursdays only and preference will not be given to contest winners. You join the queue like everyone else.)

Is there anything wrong with the queueing craze or even the obsession that people have? NO? Hello! Working adults were jamming highways or abandoning their cars on roads or letting the fruit of their loins* be late for school... all for the sake of ... Damn some people don't even know what they were queueing for. They stand behind the line with the mentality that "queue"="good things ahead". While queueing showed a civilised nature of the adults, psychologists say that adults can't be adults all the time. I see the logic in this. That was why there was that childish "my father can beat your father" incident when two fathers - one doctor, one Beng - fought over a place in the line for the Hello Kitty toy years back and of course, the broken glass pane when over-zealous people tried to push their way through when the outlet was opening.

Why queue? Is it really because something is good, or just a atypical singapore trend? If it is , why are people queueing for things like Hello Kitty, First Day covers, or even previous years NDP tickets? The experts also said that adults who collected such souvenirs were simply making up for lost childhood as they now had money to buy what they could not get when they were young. Hello! I also know for a fact that there is a growing number of people with not so innocent intentions. These are not real collectors or fans of Hello Kitty. They look at the black dots for eyes and see dollar signs instead. You can spot them a mile off. You know, these swarthy types that look more at home with a bottle of Guinness Stout in their paws than carrying a litter full of kittens. There are people who pay other people (one such person called them "runners". I call them "catnappers" or people with nothing else better to do) to line up for the toys and then sell them at "fat precious darling" prices over the Internet or in stores. It's like another stock market out there! And while the company might not readily admit it, there are those in McDonald's uniforms who make a brisk profit off catnapped Kittys.

To look at this in a positive note, this can be seen as being entrepreneurial and people who consider this as "entrepreneurial spirit" would be proud. Singapore is producing people who will answer when opportunities knock, strike while the iron is hot, not hesitate and not therefore not lose... and queue even before the kitty in heat calls. But the age old question resurfaces: why do people ultimately do this?

Let us examine (rough cat tongue-in-cheek, of course) why McDonald's decided to sell Hello Kittys? Why do people creat the illusion of having limited editions of certain merchandise. To make money, of course. But why? Were Macs not already saving and making money by reducing the size but increasing the price of their cholesterol-laden meals? Ah, but some people saw through that ruse. That's why they threw away the burgers after getting their Kittys. Perhaps McDonald's just got bored of just making so much money. Why else would it ruffle KFC's feathers by selling chicken? Why sell toys if not to threaten Toys'R'Us? Perhaps they were in cahoots with a mad scientist in NUS to devise a cruel social experiment. Perhaps they had a deal with CISCO to employ excess/trainee guards.

Highly unlikely. What is more likely is that the phenomenon is due to pure, unadulterated greed! A stack of money gets very lonely after a while so it craves for company. Money, being a highly gregarious entity, needs to be in the presence of lots of other like-minded notes. It suffers from insecurity. It pines, it calls, it wails... and so as doting owners, we succumb to what it wants.

Speaking of suffering, have you seen what the fans who don't get their hands on what they were queuing for? They look like a forlorn figure in the rain: sad, dejected and drained. Tensions, and frustration grows. There will be a Queuing Depression Hotline soon. But I know of some "kind" souls who, right after successfully lining up for the "toys", go right to these victims and victimise them some more! They dangle their catches like, well... the way you might dangle a ball at the end of a string to a cat. Both parties walk away contented: the seller satisfied with a fatter wallet; the buyer with a spring in his/her step because of the load removed from the wallet and the prize in hand.

If I were one of our country's leaders, I'd take a leaf out of the McDonald's handbook. Why? For whipping up such fervour. The only other queue that rivals that of Mac's is the one that forms for National Day tickets. (however being pragmatic high tech Singapore, we have choose to allocate tickets through electronic balloting, saving people the fun of queuing.) But there is a difference. There is so much passion, excitement and expectation in one queue compared to the other. People jostle or literally fight over positions in that queue. There are those who plan in advance and chope places the night before. So I must say in this case Mac Donalds 1 Singapore 0

Disclaimer: Although Mac Donalds is targetted in this article, it is by no means a personal insult. I still love Mac Donalds Mc Spicy burger, and apple pie... And by the way got free gift or not??