Thursday, November 09, 2006

The One about writing something that I might regret

The time is now 11.33 pm, and I have just come home from a heavy dinner with some ex-colleagues. As usual our conversation revolved around the grouses of the things that we faced. Generally the complaints will gravitate towards the people, the colleagues and of course the management that we work in. And of course it evolved slowly into a bitchfest and everybody get their two cents worth of the "if-i-am-the-MOE" thingy.

I have been in this present school for almost a year now. From the time I joined the school for the staff retreat, it has been an eventful year for me. My ex-colleagues asked whether I am settled in the school and my future plans. I had no qualms in telling them that I will leave when my 3 years obligation is up. Don't get me wrong, I am not a quitter, and I have never been known to quit but as I have subtly or not so subtly implied/insinuated, I am not really appreciated in the school. As a KP I found myself constantly slighted and overlooked, and I never feel that I was given a fair chance in proving myself. The unrealistic demands of "The KP must adjust faster than the teachers", "In this school, if the teachers run, the KP must fly" meant that I was never given an opportunity. Coupled with the fact I was brought in by the previous P seems to put this constant tag of the "renmant of the old dynasty" on me.

The school has brought in a new HOD, the status quo of 2 SHs looking after the department is over. My other SH colleague who was the georgaphy SH, had graciously stepped down for the new Geography HOD. I have to work under somebody new, under a new HOD, a position which I have to shamelessly say that i covert, a position that I applied for a year ago, a position which the former P feel that it would be bette for me to be an Sh to feel the ground and move up, a position now given to someone who entered the profession the same time as me, which the new P had felt that she is the right person for the job . I do sound bitter, and the fact of the matter is I am, I don't think it is fair but then again life is never fair :). The very fact that I only knew about it 2 mornings ago when the rest of the department had known about it (excluding the teachers) only served how perhaps ignorant or unimportant I am in the management.

in fact I should be thankful for this new person for it has given me a definite clear direction what i must and will do and that is to pack up in another 2 years time. For if I want to move up the leadership track, this is not the place for me. And I look forward to my new challenge in 2 year time.

It is sad that my inital optimism and hope was dashed in a year. yes two years is a long time, but i guess it would be easier now that I have set my deadline to leave.

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