Dear Blog

Dear Blog
(sorry to sound corny) It is weird to refer to you as a person, but then I am going to refer to you as a "he" since I started writing/typing/bitching/grousing (if there is a word for that) I have been grappling with your sexual identity. But baring this, I have to sincerely apologise for my lack of committment to maintain you. Rest assured that I am not keeping my troubles and frustrations to myself for it it would be evident in terms of a receding hairline, increased wrinkles or a unflattering paunch due to stress relief eating.

The past few hectic weeks has finaly come to an end and are settling down nicely. I called this period the calm before the next tsunami of academic/miscellaneous BS come crashing in. The week leading up to self awareness camp (SAC) (which I should summarise it in one word "good") and that weekend at OLPS where I was literally the chauffeur cum deliveryman, sending girls to the various Cocoa Tree outlets to "ransack" their supplies of chocolates were sheer madness. I am just glad that everything is kinda settled and the girls can get on wth their studies and I can focus on my family and of course my long overdue Masters Assignment which I had postponed, postponed and post-postponed....

A couple of highlights in the past 3 weeks

1) Michael Jackson kena sued again.. What's new??

2) General Budget out, Good luck to the smokers who will literally see their health and money goes up to smoke.

3) Lessons had to be stopped as 2 female teachers in Malaysia were throwing punches at each other, giving new meaning to the word catfight

4) SAC 2005 for 44 was great, got to know my class better beyond the giggling, the blur, the grouchy, the sarcastic, the gloomy, the gregarious, and the hyperactive. I also got to know my co-facilitator Ms Jo Teo better. Let's hope this new found cooperation and class spirit be there throughout the years

5) Giving up is hard to do especially when a new teacher coming in, I am supposed to give up a Sec 3 History class to her, and due to timetable clashes, I will be giving up the combined class of 3/4 and 3/8. I sincerely believe that the class will benefit from her enthusiastic teaching and new insights

6) My form class - recently extorted comments about the attitute of my form class had been favourable, although some teachers still comment that the students are ather weak in certain subjects. Nonetheless the comments on the attitude are promising. In fact I am now rediscovering the joys of lesson with 4/4, it seems that there is an air of positivity and motivation. Let's hop it will not sizzle off.

7) Crossing my fingers but if all things goes well (ie all my blog fans praying for me) I will be having a new addition to my family. Yes I m going to do my part for Singapore as a loyal singaporean, And Yes finally, I am going to UPGRADE myself again! The Singapore Gahmen keep emphasizing the need to be relevant in society and therefore I am pursuing another masters next year. This time the Masters of Arts. I had applied for an MOE overseas scholarship and will be studying in the land of the free if everything turns out well. University applied - University of Wisconsin, Madison, where I will be pursuring my interest in History. If everything goes well I will be leaving IJ early next year and be relocated in MOE HQ, then I will be leaving for the US with my wife a year. The selection will be sringent and there will be many people vying for this scholarship. Really need all of you to pray for me.

Gratefulness

I was trying in vain to try to write an entry on my blog when I realised that I just can't get into the Blogger website. After trying frantically for about 2 minutes and 3 secs, thinking that the server is down or something, I was about to just switich off the computer and leave for home, when I realised that it was that I was using the url www.blooger.com. Rookie mistake... then sometimes a tired mind plays tricks on you, your eyes, your brains and your senses.

I am just glad as the week passes by, we had a wonderful practice for mass and for once i see everyone as angelic as before. I am grateful to be given this opportunity for me to bond with my class and to get to know some of the girls a little better. It is exciting to know a little more about everyone, and I am pretty sure that it will be the same for self awareness camp.

Anyway just a funny note on the things I am grateful for:

1) the stars in the sky when the moon don't shine ( spare me the technicality about the moon reflecting light from the sun blah blah blah) for just bringing a shimmer of hope when things are just down

2) the toilet bowl for allowing me to ease my stuff as I sit and watch the world goes by

3) gravity, knowing that what goes up must come down... a simple revelation of life

4) tears, for giving me a plausible excuse when upset and for cleansing the eyes. Sometimes people just need a pat on the back

5) long sleeved shirts, to hide the flabby arms and to prevent the layers of fats on the arms from becoming an eyesore

6) short sleeved shirts, to flaunt the muscule after an intense workout

7) the marvel of the internet for allowing to express my feelings on issues so close to my heart with no inhibitions

8) toilet paper for giving that fresh and clean feeling after the release

9) Chinese New Year for giving the teachers yet another opportunity to humiliate ourselves and a well deserved break. Also allow the married ones to be "philantropists" for the season

10) the songs "Always look on the bright side of life" and "hey baby" which never failed to cheer me up

11) lastly, God, I am not a believer but I do know that somewhere you are out there, you are watching over us and hoping the best for us. I sincerely believe everything will turn out well

Let's talk

In case my blog fans had been wondering what had happened to me, I had a restful weekend. Tried not to think about work. Went to the Gym for a workout in the morning, put in about 2 hrs worth of pumping irons, and I am rewarded with sore arms, a bad knee and an overinflated ego. At least I am not having this sagging breasts whcih looks a bit like chicken down with bird flu. But then again, i am so glad that I have my full afternoon just lying on a comfortable bed, let the time passes by as I watched the two lizards on my ceiling mating.

Let's talk about drums!
In school a percussion group known as the Rhythm Masala came over to the school to give a spirited performance. It was great and what was better was when they invited the teachers to play on stage. "Urged" by our screaming fans and egged by the rest of our colleagues, a few brave souls ventured to the front of the stage. Don't let the confidence swagger bluff you for we are never comfortable about performing in front of a live audience. Well most of us are happy just amusing ourselves in the confines of the staffroom or merely banging the tables in utter frustration. Anyway the valiant ones are: Ms Yvonne Ng, Ms Indran, Ms Tan, Ms Teo Jin Ling, Mr Teh, Mr Francis Yap and myself. Not that we are really musically inclined say for some of us, but the moves were pretty easy and dummy proof. You hit twice on one drum, then thrice on another and then just continue the repetition. Not so bad. Good for stress release they say. What a great opportunity for me to release my pent up stress and frustration in a violent outlet of banging the drums like a mad man. It was a great performance judging from the response from the crowd. Now we know why people get the adrenaline rush from the audience... We didn't really know how world class was that (1st world, second world, tird world or developing....:P) But i ended up with two bruised thumbs due to my over zealous attempts to keep up with the tempo. If there are any spelling errors, it is not because I am too lazy to look up in the dictionary but because my two deformed thumbs are crying for some reprieve from giving the thumbs ups. Anyway I have suggested that the percussion to be placed a one discreet corner for teachers and students alike to drum their stress away. Maybe it will drum up the results.. I hope.

Let's talk about self awareness camps!
They say that the class take over the character of the form teacher. I agree wholly. My form class is fun loving, noisy, cute and an eager zest for anything academic. They also have this "kiasu" cannot lose attitude and the want to be the best in everything. Sometimes it become such a reflection of me that i have to really sit down and reflect (pun intended) about myself. I guess the present predicament that the student faced is also a show of me not able to prioritse. To me all I have to say is that soemtimes I feel that the class don't know when to prioritise. The most important thing up on our head is of course self awareness camp followed by Chocomania. I rememebr tellign the class what I mean by high priority and high urgency and people sometimes get caught up by the small things. DON"T SWEAT OVER THE SMALL THINGS because it si not worth it. I feel that taking the classs to a higher level is a more important thing than say winning the CNY. Let any other class who wants to win for once for GOD's sake. Let's not be too anal about this but I think it is important that we get our priorities right because in life there will be always tings that we need to worry about but then again ask ourself will u really remember the CNY deco as much as soemthing that will help to change the wholeperspective of the class?

Let's talk about gambling!
I am now typing this at my in laws' place at Jurong and just came back from a walk around the pasar malam. came along a small little Singapore Pools shop and overheard this conversation between two fellows. One of them was in the shop near the ticketing counter trying to write down bet for the soccer matches tonight and there was another one, a boy about 14 year old ( how do I know... he barely reached puberty..) just outside as though it was an evil thing to walk in the shop or there was this no under 18 allowed talisman somewhere in the shop. I was at first proud of the boy for not getting himself involved in betting when i heard this

boy: oi which match you going to buy har? buy 20 dollars for me
man in shop: got money or not?
boy: I returned you when I win, sure win one
man in shop: but I not buying for myself , aiyah never mind I buy for you
boy: wait wait wait, u not buying, then maybe something is wrong, I don't want to buy liao
man in shop: don't be a sissy lar, i buy for you.
boy: wat happen if chelsea win more than 3 goals har, then I lose money....

from that point onwards I decided to walk away. first of all, I am saddened by the fact that the boy's friend is encouraging the kid the vice of gambling and secondly how can the boy be so stupid to believe that he will win. If things are so straightforward I won't be writing teaching as my profession but professional gambling and of course being able to feed my family and others and even call the 1900-donate hotlines whenever needed. seriously when I was talking to some of my girls about the recent issue or hoohah about the casino, I told them that I am a neutral, not really acidic or alkaline about the casino stuff. But I had to say that although the casino can generate income for singapore, there are still alot of inmature singaporeans which still need to be "spoonfeeded" by the government. But of course the skeptics will say that there will not be maturity if the government continue to be so paternalistic. I guess that this issue of responsibility is a question of the slipping slope and your guess is as good as mine. Wanna bet on this?

Today Tuesday

Monday passed by without a time for me to catch my breath and i was left with absolutely no time to catch my breath. eight periods one after another and then had an enjoyable meeting with my class committee girls, well if you consider a 2.30 -6.00 pm marathon meeting interesting, my poor committee members had to skip like lunch/teabreak/early dinner? Then again seeing ele trying to dig out the scraps of the loveletters from the bottom of the container was an amusing sight (sorry ele, couldn't resist taking a dig, sorry for the pun!) I was really exhausted, if you considered the fact that I am still trying to recover from the super duper flu bug and then I have a terrible night because some idiot forgot to put some newie gadgety stuff to silent mode and it keep ringing and ringing the whole bloodly night.

Anyway back to the chocomania and of course all these things that are happening in class. I really have to admire the class committee for relly trying their best to try to unite the class and most importantly trying to run the show. I know I re-elected them. This is a trying year for all the 44ians and I have to say it is really not easy for the class committee to please everyone especially if everyone try to get their way.(Let's put it this way, not everyone is happy about the PAP, ask Dr Chee...) But from my conversations with them, I can sense that they are genuinely concerned about making the class the best class and I really feel that it can be done. I think we firstly need to dissociate ourselves with the "100% refractory" stuff. Why?
1) it is embarrassing when you people say that we are 100% refractory but have absolutely no idea what it means?
2) you choose it because it look cool but but have absolutely no idea what it means?
3) the class are so disjoint and lack unity and and you people have absolutely no idea what this means?

Chaos within unity or unity within chaos. Chaotically united or Unifying chaos, No matter how you see it, as disparate entities or unified body, the choice is pretty much yours. I absolutely love it when my girls claims that they are the most united class. I think it is fast become a farce... You can emphasize that it is all about unity but heck! Have you really think about that when you

1) choose to do what you want without considering what the rest wants?
2) choose to ignore what is to be done because YOU don't like it THAT way?
3) choose to keep quiet and let the rest run the show because YOU don't even care?
4) choose to complain but not taking a stand about it because YOU feel that you are not part of it all?
5) choose to ignore all this because YOU can't be bothered about your friends in class, you don't respect them, and you don't want to help them?
6) or given a choice you just want to migrate to another class because you can't see yourself as part of 4/4?

As you could see, the choice is always yours! Don't blame others, Don't point the finger at others. Are you one of them who is guilty of any one of those that I had say above. A class is never about "I" it is about "We" and if you can't see the simple logic behind it, I guess that just make you a lesser person. Because noone lives alone, the world doesn't revolve around YOU. The success of the class come from everyone, not just the class committee, not just because of a couple of voices who want things to be done in that way, not just about a couple of complaining voices who just refused to take up a stand, and definitely not about the silent majority who just goes with the flow! If I could have things my way, I would walk up to the person in class and just trash it out, why wait? why keep the negativity? and why hide? I can be totally open to talk about my feelings to others and I believe the class can do that. Why hide behind a veil? why sit at a corner? why just shut up?

I believe that the class has potential, and up till now I still believe so. I am very sure that my girls will rise to the occasion but to succeed, the class spirit have to be there. Will it be a case of unfulfilled potential? I sincerely hope not. I don't want a class spirit that switches on and off when a BIG event come about, and definitely not one when a BIG VIP come along. If you coul see things in the spirit of the class and in the spirit of unity, it would make you people a great bunch to be with and a great bunch to teach!

And a side note there were 3 absentees today,all from the back of the class, I guess that is where the source of the bug is coming.

A show of Peace, Faith, Love and Hope...

http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2529/4candles.swf

If things haven't been bad enough

Can the CNY please come, cos I am really stressed up to the brim. Talking about my family committment and of course all the CNY buying of goodies and f course the academic work I am giving my students and the one that I am absolutely trying to rush through for my Master assignment and I am like on the verge of a mental breakdown. Add the unexpected present that my form class chairperson had given to me which required me to go for an urgent jab on Thursday so that I can get back on time to teach my afternoon A Maths lesson and that's about round up the week.

If you don't understand what I am writing about, don't worry, it is either you are too thick to understand, or it was not meant for you

It seems like yesterday that I thought things given to me were better, at least better thean the last one I had, and I was in a stage of pretence where I could actually move a little further and a little bit better, but then I was just living in a warplike space where things don't seem to be like that. Perhaps the revelation I had after yesterday was that I am starting to see things beyond the rose tinted glasses, i thought things were not meant to be this way, it was supposed to be better than what I have expected. But my hopes were high and I failed to see things beyond the beautiful picture that I forced myself to see. I was utterly upset at the development of things. Maybe I should have just perseverve on last year and not so nonchalant and I could have done something about it, but then again would I have made the difference I wonder? A lot of things have to be done, and I am suddenly overwhelmed by the things that I have to and must do. It was going through the same things which I did 2 years ago, it was painful and most important it was tiring, it was really tiring. Things in parts can be mended, if efforts is made and of course Care, Compassion and Concern

Listen to what they talk

Why Men can't listen and women can't read maps. Now I really understand the long sigh my wife gave yesterday.

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only fiveminutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you shouldbe on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement oftenmisunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to aman. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Cheery and Cheesy

I am glad I am almost through this week unscathed. The 2 hr Contact time was quite a mouthful - in the sense that so many new things for the teachers that we were literally opening our mouths in wilderment. It was mentally exhausted and I am just typing whatever that is coming through my mind and channeling it to my fingers through the keyboard. Well I have to say that this week so far, lessons had been pretty fun though I am up to almost-the-brim with my essay preparation and of course the tons of marking which I had masochistically ( if there is a word for that) gave to myself. I am always feel that teachers are one of the wierdest beings around being the way we try to so hard to lighten our workload and yet at the same time, that sense of responsibilities will be so much for us to be BC therefore we ended up BGL. But then again, it is old news if I don't pass a comment about teachers and the tons of stuff to do that i feel like a grumpy old man.

I seriously doubt I can finish my assignment on time. Guess I have to ask for an extension soon. The essay is due after self awareness camp and I am sure I will be so mentally and physically tired after that. All the literary vomit and the critical appraisal of the different literature is really giving me migraines. I have been trying religiously to do my essay every weendend but it really need a hell lot of discipline. Let's cross our fingers that this weekend would be a fruitful one for my assignment.

There seems to be a hidden undercurrent in the class today. Something is not right... got to resolve it before it become really a nerve racking problems. As though I don't have enough of that... SIGH.

Landom Thoughts

The whole weekend was over in a daze. More like I was sleeping through it. Saturday, tried to wake up at around 7 am to do my long overdue, trying-to-motivate-myself Masters assignment but the spirit is not that willing but the body is like "hell no". I was literally in and out of dazes and was trying to keep my guilty soul awake as my diligent wife was frantically busying herself with the tons of housework that was piling over the weekend. That's the lifestyle young couples had, DINK (Double Income No Kids) but damn plenaty of housework. You can't imagine how much stuff is stacked up over the period of 6 days. The washing machines work overtime ( We had two by the way) and the folded clothing were left in the guestroom on the nice comfortable bed which acts as a makeshift wardrobe. Not that i want to "dry dirty linen in public" but really there are just so much things to do. And I am still putting in time to communicate with my students to tell them the little time I had is used to inform them what is happening to my life.

Sickening things had been happening to things and people around me. A colleague and close friend just got knocked down by flu a couple of days back* and the best part was that he was supposed to go for an anti flu jab or something before he go for his reservist training in Thailand in a week time. I shuddered at the thought of our defenders of the country so sicky. Is it then possible that the war will end not with us defeated by the enemy but by the flu bug. But then a again that is just some random thoughts I had. Another young female colleagues seems to have aged a couple of years over the past few months. She was all bubbly and her eyes seems to sparked. Now it look like 2 flickering candles burning on their last drop of fuel. I had a friendly conversation with her on the way to our classes and I express my shock at her loss of vibrance and "youth". She lamented that she feel so tired and drained and of course she had not recovered from the flu which was spread by you-know-who. Sad to say our conversation did not last as she was doing her shuttle run ack to St rap when she realised that her ever-declining memeory had once again failed her and she need to get some stuff before doing an olympic timed sprint to St Michael where her eager hyperactive class is anticipating her presence.

*And what were you thinking when I say about sickening things? You sickening soul!

Another sickening thing that happen is the stupid car scratches I had on my new car. Yah you heard me right. Man I am so pissed. what have I done to deserve this, too hard on my students, too many enthusiastic attempts at sacarastic remarks ( which by the way I am so good that Ms Yap actually got me a deck of playing cards which had insults on every single one of them,; she said that without a shadow of a doubt that was my X mas present when she saw it at Times Bockshop) or just some green eyed singular testicular monster who couldn't stand the sight of a light metallic blue lancer at the neighbouring carpark? Or was it due to the stupid merger of media corps and media work that got retrenched employees so pissed off that they started venting their frustration on my car? Sorry to be so worked up on a non-animate possession, but this is like the most expensive toy I had so far, (ther than my home if you know what I mean) and it hurts a little to see it kena "bullied" by people other than me? But then again I should be lucky that my car was not swamped by the tsunami and I should be so grateful that things are actually still in one piece - land is land and water is still in water... Let's all be thankful of the wonderful things we had.
Students had indicated through smses and mails and slights that they were not really happy with the ratings I gave. Suddenly I feel so "Simon Cowell"ish. Let's put it this way, I don't write to please , just to piss. I guess the chemistry need to be work out in some way or another and I can see that the momentum is coming back. At least I had quite an enjoyable class with my form class. Crazy bunch though, with the new hairstyle and the hyena like laughter and of course the cannot sit still shuffling the legs and the pilates- inspired lotus leaving sitting position.
I had to start preparing for my essay. I got to start marking the test, I got to strat becoming zombish... Damn... What a way to start week 2.

F week

I had survived the first week in school. All I feel is that my rest in the holidays was in vain. I really feel so tired after this week. This year 2005, meant that I had taken on more responsibilities which include :

1) Being a Sec 4 form teacher - the admin can kill. Not forgetting the self awareness camp

2) Being the track and field teacher in charge again... well so glad that there are two able colleagues to help me, else... sigh

3) 4 preparations of lessons - sec4 history (for my one and precious class), sec4 social studies, sec 4 add maths and sec 3 history

4) my two Masters assignment which are about to be due. And the best part is that I have not started on it...

I must say that this week is a litmus test for all my classes. Let me give them a preliminary grading( still subjected to changes)

And (drum roll......)

Sec 4/1
Rating: A2
As usual, self motivated and studious, there is absolutely no problem going after work, or should I say no problem as ALL hand up work of highest quality. Need to speak up more though.

Sec 4/4
Rating: B3
Surprising unsatisfactory considering the chemistry that we had. As usual, the jokes and laughter are starting to fill the class and the chronic "forget-this-forget-that" syndrome is agian present. They had also got onto the wrong foot or feet (for some teachers) and that is like the first week of school. And to top it up, the same endemic problem - the lack of focus. Let's cross our fingers.

Sec 4/7
Rating: B3
except for a couple of jokers who forget to bring their book and stuff, the class is surprising subdued. Maybe the colourful and playful people are in Sec 3 again or in 4N or had move on to an outside career of stand up comics. Still don't look settled down and all geared up to go.

Sec 4/8
Rating: B4
Come on, what rating can I give if almost one third of the class were being lectured by me standing outside of the classroom, and that is my first lesson with you guys. Particpation seem minimal. Still need to work harder though I can see that soem of them are starting to settle down

Sec 3/2
Rating: A2/B3
Funny bunch but just too serious. Maybe we need a couple of warm up sessions

Sec 3/4 and 3/8
Rating: A2
Absolutely hilarious bunch, can joke, can have fun and most important know when to be serious and settle down to do work. A few colourful characters stand out. But still too early to tell.

As you can see, I can be a bit mean and stingy with my comments, but there is really little for me to judge but with the little it may not be fair. I certainly hope that my assessment is partial and incorrect.

I need to rest, it is 1140pm.

F day of school

It is the first day of school and as usual the monday blues. My mind doesn't seem to be wanting to do anything academic though I also understand that the girls were also busy catching up with others on what they have done during the holiday or maybe what they didn't.

Things are going to be quite different this year. At least there is now a greater sense of urgency as the O levels will be coming sooner before you know it. I guess this is a great motivator especially for those who had been really bochup last year.

I am having a headache now... School induced? Maybe, but I am glad to be back.

Getting a new haircut.......... $7
New shirt which matches my surname.......... $29.90
New Pocket PC and repairs to my laptop........... $700
Seeing the surprised look on 4/4 when they realised I am their form teacher again......... priceless

There are things money can't buy, for others there is Mastercard :P

Corny jokes aside, got tons of work to be done and tons of people going after me for holiday work which I promise, and yet failed to do.

Welcome back!

The Killer Wave
(A poem written in memory of the innocent who lost their loved ones)

IMPORTANT LEGAL NOTICES

---

Before you actually read the poem,
PLEASE NOTE All of the poem need to be taken with a healthy dose of scepticism. I cannot accept any reponsibility or liability for any harm, upset or other consequential damage caused by gullible people.

This is, first and foremost, a humourous blog. This may sound rather obvious but you would not believe the number of people I get sending me very abusive emails because I got my facts "wrong". The reports, etc, contained on this site are not to be taken seriously in any way shape or form. Some of them are wildly inaccurate, skewed, exaggerated, call it what you will. Please don't email me to point that out. I already know this stuff but I have deliberately gotten it all wrong for comic effect, OK? Due to the nature of the reports being submitted to this site, I have no way to guarantee that all, some or any of them contain accurate information.

without further ado....


Have you read the news today

or heard the radio about the killer wave?

As many as 12 thousand die

and it happen on the globe by the eastern side



Countries like Sir Lanka, got their share

Indonesia, Thailand were not spared

And the next we know is up North

Where Penang of Malaysia also got



How it happens, is a daze

It was then peaceful on a bright Sunday

then something strange by the sea,

came a wave, height about 3 storeys

People were buried, drowned in water,

some got choked and others got a shower

Families were lost, tears were shed

Beachside holidays became sad



It is corny explaining as I tried

When plates collide, people die.

I don't know why this natural catastrophe,

It could be God's anger in the making



My mom had a quirk explanation for all this

why Singapore was still in one piece

Remember we have shows for Charity

We are all too nice and God let us stay alive


Trust me , reading all this will help u in your literature :P

Merry Christmas to All!!

This has been a great year and I realise that I have not been blogging for ages. Went out to a ex-student house for a Christmas celebration on the 24th and of course been the filial son that I am, brought my parents to Orchard Road last night for a spin to look at the beautiful but less than spectacular lights along the busiest street in Singapore. The roads seem so empty, must be from the hangover of the Christmas Eve celebrations. But then again , the people pushing people scenario along the long stretch of Orchard Road was indeed crowded. Punks, young and old, filipinos with a night off and male Bangdaleshis holding hands in a la Viva Gay Vegas. But then again what is it about the whole Christmas without an old scrooge like me to poke fun at everything that I have seen and read?



Anyway I had been pretty disturbed/horrified/surprised/ pissed by a lot of things that were happening in Singapore and around the world for the past few weeks. As a Christmas present, I would now unload my 2 cents worth of comments. Are you ready??

China rewards diligent teachers with a present - a brand new car
I beleive that Singapore MOE feel that rewarding teachers with a 2 and a half months worth of bonuses is enough to get the teacher to slog like dogs ( damn it really rhymes!!) Anyway I can see that at least the Guangzhou province, if I am not mistaken, clearly show their respect for the hard work of the teachers. Not that i have anything to complain about but sometimes I really wondered, we teachers slogged like mad and then we have to rush for the holidays with the rest of the other schooling kids, and worst pay peak prices for airport, airport taxes and of course hotel accomodation. And thanks alot MOE if you really factor in these inflation in prices, the bonus you gave us is really not a bonus at all. But then again, I must really thank them for providing such a long holidays for us teachers, wait a minute, the holiday is going to come to an end soon...

Teacher couple die in New Zealand honeymoon when their car crashed
It really hurt to see another of our comrades-in-arms die for such a unworthy cause. Please do not be misunderstood, I am not trying to poke fun at this, but I see this as a loss to the teacher profession, two amiable teachers, all well respected by peers and students and as they embarked on their new lives together, Wham!! an accident happen and took their lives away. I know that what I am about to discuss may not be related or even remotely related to this, but for the most observant of people, I am now a proud owner of a car. Well actually for around 2 month plus liao. With my amulet placed on the windscreen and of course the back of the car, I am immedicately tagged with the "novice driver" Not that I have anything to complain about that, it allows me to make the most elementary of driving mistakes while still protesting my innocence that I am not familiar with the roads and rules, you know the "I-am-a-new-driver-only-please-be-lenient-with-me" :P. However what this show me what how precocious life is and sometimes when I am on the road, I really prayed that I will bring myself and my passengers alive to their destination. You may think it is silly, but in a small country like Singapore, there are some really f***ing drivers who think their grandfather own the road; they weave around the lanes like some maverick high on prozac. But then again I reckon, the whole bloody road safety required all to be safe before accidents can be prevented, therefore the only thing is to wish for Santa to take the car away from naughty drivers. HO HO HO!!


Mr Ng Will be teaching Sec 3s next year!!
I am not sure whether it will be good news or bad news, but due to an unforeseen change in the timetable, but I will be teaching some Sec 3 classes next year. Anyway I always enjoy teaching Sec 3 because 1) there is no pressure as they are not the graduating classes 2) I can try any new teaching methods with them and there will be no pressure as they are not the graduating classes 3) I will be getting Teachers' Day Presents :P as they are not the graduating classes.
But because of me taking up some Sec 3 classes, I will have to give up some sec 4 classes. Well we will know whether school reopen who are the lucky ones who got away from my clutches!!

Have a happy holiday and start doing you homework.. time is ticking.... :)

A long long night

They are showing the Star Awards on Channel 8 and Big MommaHouse on Channel 5. To show my displeasure to Media corp, I should avoid the TV programmes for today.

Was out since 10pm last night and didn't sleep the whole night, meet up with some friends at Simpang Bedok, had a couple of pratas, and loads of tea tarik, I can feel the teh in my tummy, and I am feeling a little "zombie"ish. We talked throughout the night, and before we know it, it was 8 in the morning. In fact we were a bit dead around fiveish and started giggling and laughing at Simpang. The best part was that we started talking in gibberish and we suddenly became hard of hearing. Must be the sleep deprivation. And to show how bad we were, we started coining new words like

"I am really saber" ( a combination of stable and sober)
"You think my car can squeeze into that entry? You must be joking.. I am not a murtabak"
"You want a teh tarik and errrrrrrrlo" (Milo in non sober pronunciation)

Anyway I just woke up.. If all hese doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, I am still suffering from a hangover

Where do we go from here...

Ripped this from www.talkingcock.com.. damn funny...

Which American reality TV franchise should MediaCorp adapt next? What will they look like?

SINGAPORE TEMPTATION ISLAND
Contestants are sent to the new casino on the island of Sentosa, where they struggle with their temptation to blow their life savings

SINGAPORE APPRENTICE
Contestants compete to work for Singapore’s top char kway teow hawker whose catchphrase is: “You’re FRIED!”

SINGAPOREAN FEAR FACTOR
Singaporeans must overcome their fear of being sued for defamation or getting the air-con treatment somewhere around Whitley Road.

SINGAPORE SWAN
They’re really beautiful! Oops! Sorry, we mean they’re fakely beautiful. But they have a lot of self-esteem issues, so be nice and don’t “swan” them, leh!

THE SINGAPORE RESTAURANT
This week’s exciting episode: the Ministry of Environment conducts a spot check.

SINGAPORE’S BIGGEST LOSERS
This week, the contestants include the poor buggers who invested in Global Crossing, the sad sacks who kena suckered into paying $2b for two berths in Hong Kong's port, the pathetic people who took a stake in CAO, and the taxpayers.

SINGAPOREAN STRAIGHT EYE FOR THE QUEER GUY
A group of SAF infantry sergeants give a chao ah quah a macho makeover, so that his family and friends won’t shun him any longer.

SINGAPORE BACHELOR
They’re single. They’re over 40. They make less than $2,500 a month. Got hope not? Maybe only fat ones. Sponsored by the SDU.

SINGAPOREAN NANNY 999
This local adaptation of America’s ‘Nanny 911’ series features maids calling the police to report their employers for doing stuff like pouring boiling water on them or biting off their nipples.

SINGAPOREAN SIMPLE LIFE
The daughters of two tua kee towkays are sent to stay in a (gasp!) HDB flat and (shock! horror!) study in NUS!

SINGAPORE SURVIVOR
Another Singaporean leaves the island – and resettles in Perth where he’s surviving very nicely, thank you for asking.

SINGAPORE’S NEXT TOP MODEL
In this week’s episode, contestants compete to be the next Nominated Member of Parliament.

Engrish Laesens for the Bengs - Reesons Y The Engrish Language Is So Bloodly Hard Too Learn

With sentences like these, I guess there should be a syllabus B for Engrish for the Bengs and Lians and Slyvester...

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Trivial from Friends
Joey: Won't it be cool if our chick and duck have a baby, we can call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick...

Ah... the beauty of Engrish...

Refractions of the Mind - Being the Ego One

I am into reflections today. Cool word "Reflection", Thanks Ming for reminding me this. I thought what I have had been literary vomit. Well then I realise from the hit rate that my blog is getting since its infancy, I notice that there are quite of you slurping all these like the shark fin soup in a chinese banquet. The shocking thing of course is that now I am a vegetarian. And not many people know about that. Well it seems that VEGETARIAN is not equal to being MEAN, and I seems to be the direct contradiction of that.

I have not been staring into the mirror for the past few days. A bit uncharacteristically non narcassistic. Letting my hair grow to something like a la Sly but with the curls. It look really like the camoflauges of leaves and grass that we use on our helmets in our days in army. But then again, why should I? To dress up are only for those days when you meet a potential client, business partner, soul mate, screaming parent, superior etc. As for now I am in the mood for the Singapore Idle.

Not that I have a lot of time to do so, it is my seasonal grouses again, the Master assignments which are due in February, and of all topics, I have chosen to write something on Teacher Stress. Shouldn't be THATTTT difficult since I have been running my mouth all this while in my blog about how stressed teachers are. But what I didn't forseen was the amount of literature that I have to read in order to write the thingy. And as for stress, just to educate those who have read till this point without feeling stress, stress was referred to as the "spice of life" and there are in fact 4 types of stress : hyperstress ( where there is too much spice and you just feel like frequenting the toilet there and then and there again), distress ( spices that are overdue or the typical practical joke thingy of put salt into your coffee, the effect is ... well you know), hypostress ( where the food is just bland and tasteless and spices cost just too much) and finally eustress ( not to be mistaken as a woman body part but this mean good and positive stress... and by the way, there are good stress).

Talking about stress, none can be more stressed than the two idols at the very day when the results were been revealed. In front of 3 milllion audience, "live" and dead (pun unintended), both of them were trying to keep cool and I guess these was what was going through their mind that very moments...

( A fictitous renactment)
Sly: "die lah, if I don't win, then must act like nothing like that, must hug Ah Tau and then remember to smile at fans... Chances I don't win lah, "It's my lyfe" sing berry badly, but really be brushing up on my engrish... *&^%$(#!^%" (hokkien expletive... what do you expected, Ah beng using refined english words like S*** and F***)

Taufik: "Alamak, what to do when I win, who to thank? Mrs Jones? But show surprise, don't be too obvious, if not, they won't believe, yo know Singaporeans, always like to believe in conspiracy theories... Like Singapore Idol also must be like the Singapore Presidency, must rotate among the 4 major races. Guess it shoud be the indigenous race of Singapore to win it... Sayang!!"

Gurmit: "And Singapore Idol is ..... Taufik"

("Screams" and "Applause" signs in Singapore indoor stadium light up, directed at the Sly fans)

Taufik ( eyes wide open!, mouth wide open)
Sly hugged Taufik (face away from cameras) "Damn!! Please don't film my face...."

I know all these are already old stories, but just couldn't resist to poke a little wee bit of fun into it. And the best part is that there will be a repeat telecast this coming saturday. If you don't believe what I had said, just watch the rerun and see if the dialogue above fit what you see on the screen.

I can't believe it when I read the paper this morning which show the number of the votes won by the Idols. Now to keep the long story short, it seems that the Sly fans ( no pun intended) believe that there was a conspiracy ( as usual, singaporeans being the disbelieving lot and their conspiracy theories) to DETHRONE the bengster, and that is why they did not reveal the number of votes won. Yes we have been robbed, claimed the Sly fans. Anyway to keep the Bengs and Lians appeased, the results revealed that (and I was shocked. I really can't believe it), Sly actually had about 38% of the votes, that was like 10 times more than I expected! Not that I am a huge fan of Taufik but come on!! 38% about 1.1 milllion votes! You are telling me that there are so many people who favoured the under DOG to win!! Are you serious that he can be a representation of Singapore for the World Idol. Sigh... not as if Taufik was any better, but then face between the devil and the deep blue sea..... Sigh. Let's face it, if Sly can sing ( just to lap on something from the Chinese Chef Yan) So can you! It is now the invasion of the bathroom singers to come to the podium/stage. So what next?

Renactment of Singapore Idol 2
Yes it is me the host for SI 2 , Gurmit Singh and let me introduce the contestants....
1) Legolas Ng Tau Mo
2) Karaoke Goh Sing Song
3) Shrek Chin Ah Lee
4) Nemo Loh Han Hee
5) Armani Chin Ah Kwee
...

Who will be your Singapore Idol? Let introduce conestant no. 1 Legolas to sing the song " Ai pia jia eh ya" A hokkien favourite!

Talk about cutting edge Ah Bengs and Ah Lians for Singapore Idol or should I say Singapore Bengster... If the inevitable happen, just give me the remote to turn that off..

Sharity Charity

A big hello to all my readers. As you know, I have not been writing much lately.No, I am not shutting down my blog again. Just down with flu for the past couple of days. Great to be back in Singapore after a gruelling trip in Hong Kong.

Anyway the few days in Hong Kong made me more tired than ever. Usually people don't associate holidays with gruelling, but then again, early 8 plus morning calls and late nights till 1 or 2 am. (d0n't these Hong Kongers sleep?, Their shops closed at around 1230am and they will be greeting you in the early hours of the morning with their megawatts smiles) I guess it was the fatigue that made me vulnerable to the flu virus.

Glad some of you managed to watch the show Angela Ashes on channel I. I had to agree that it was not as impactful as it was since the last time I had seen it. Nonetheless the whole movie did go into sensitive themes which I was unable to openly show to all of you behind closed doors (read: air conditioned classroom with a DVD player, ie the career room or humanities room) But with you watching it on TV, I am ABSOLVED of all responsibilites of teaching you the "wrong" values so as you may have misintepreted. That is the powe rof the media and of course the power of pushing the blame...

Anyway, in one of my decadent moments of watching TV, (I usually feel that watching Tv is a complete waste of time, second to reading blogs :P, it burned brain cells and killed creativity according to REUTERS) , I notice that there is going to be yet another Charity show up again which I never bothered to remeber its name. This is like the zillionth one this year. How many are there going to be?Is it a trend now to have a freakin' charity show every few months? It is a bloody waste of the non-handicapped time.

For the non initiated, this is how a charity show works.
First, they announce the prizes you will stand to win. Never mind the fact that the money spent on the prize could very well be used to help the needy in the first place.
Secondly, spend weeks telling anyone unfortunate enough to be watching TV at that time how hard the has been actors/overseas stars/ Mediacorp Artists/handicapped has been working and preparing for months just for the needy. And all the charity shows are the same. A bunch of celebrities (most who you hardly know) to do all sorts of stunts. How innovative. MediaCorp must have earned more from those advertisements than all the donations.
Thirdly, the real deal. That charity show is finally on air. The artists perform their little trivial and crappy exciting stunts. A Cirque De Soliel extravaganza. Hosts tell audience at home that these stunts are not be practised with supervision at home. This is the part where the actors pretend to be in a lot of pain, and suffering. Amazingly, hosts will shed tears and urged viewers to call in. Boohoohoo. Fools who actually believe them will then call the hotline.

In case for those who think that I am an unsympathetic B#$%^&* who shouldn't be even writing this. Let me get some points straight. Firstly I am always and and still one of the those FOOLS who donate but I just cannot comprehend the need to have all these over and over again. Singaporeans are growing increasingly immune to all these charity shows. You need money for your organisations, do a charity show, you need to build a new hospital? do a charity show? No money for your overseas studies, do a charity show? I see these whole things of telecasting these people and exaggerating their plights COMMERCIAL exploitation. I surely won't want to have that form of help with me in front of a TV audience sobbing etc. For the sympathetic, you may say that all these are publicity, and I had to agree that Advertisements do have the desirable effects of getting the donations in. I just wonder if TV had become a device to get the cash registers (opps, donations) in?

Another issue that I have a big grudge on is there really a need to have a cap to the amount donated. Say you are on the street, a little girl with a tin came by with a tin and ask you to donate, you took out a one dollar coin and as you were about to put it into the tin, she placed her little hand over the slot and shook her head, "sorry sir, too little, I only accepted $2, $5 and $10 donations and above" What type of crap is that? Nowadays all these donation come in denominations of $2 $5 and even for some cases $88! Where have the old spirit of giving gone to? When was the time when you give a dollar or even 50cents and you don't feel that cheapskate.

Secondly, I sometimes wondered, while the average Singaporean give and give, what are our leaders doing? These are the people who earn like five digit income from the taxes the people pay? Do they give a cent? Maybe they are just some nameless philantropists but I seriously doubt that the government did placed any form of donation on their own personal terms. Let's face it, they are just living to the government stance of self reliance and non-welfarism in Singapore. They are not heartless, they do grace the occasions at times and encourage other average Singaporeans like you and me to give.

And the best part about the donations are those operating companies managing the hotlines. These telephones network providers insisted that they are only using that extra 20 cents or 50 cents per call to cover their administrative charges. But then again, if they are seriously about getting people to donate and to show the spirit of giving, why do they even need to have that? At the end of the month, they (read:the losers and fools who donated) will then suddenly realise that the telephone network provider has stolen/deducted a lump sum of your donations.

Have you regreted calling the hotline now, don't you?

(in conjunction to coming festive season, Mr Ng encourages all his readers to give generously to charity to help the less privileged, he has nothing against charity or even charity show per se and even the prizes awarded, but if you happened to win something from your donation and is in a giving mood, Mr Ng would gladly be the recipient of the goodwill...:))

Just a short entry..
Channel I is showing the movie "Angela's Ashes" tonight at 10pm. For those who had forgotten what show it is, this was the movie I show all of you during SS classes.
Remember to catch it on I

time checked... it is 1 15 am in the morning.. seems like i have a penchant to type really early in the morning. Well it is really weird as in Hong Kong, this is considered early....

meet up with some friends today, it is really great to have all these friends here, somebody local to depend on for trips like this.

Was out meeting some friends and then went to ladies market which is a little like the pasar malam in singapore, though the stuff are really much cheaper especially the....
Went to LAm Kwai Fong, which is the Hong Kong equivalent of Jalan Sultan. Really happening there, went with an Austrian friend and a Hong Kong classmate (my Sheffield University Classmate) at this very interesting pub where there is a live band and the patron sings with the band.. had a couple of drinks and a volka jelly... now reallt tipsy... unfortunately too drunk pissed to sing my guts and liver out.
If you are wondering how I am able to write this out.. I will try to figure it out and write in my blog when I have recovered from my drunken stupor...